Salesmen, Beware Of The Backseat Boys

David Sacci
by David Sacci

In 2001 during an early evening with a piercing December chill, Jason splayed the salesman’s grin when Dad and Son showed up in a warm showroom. Well of course he’d be happy to let them try a new Passat, “but first can I get a copy of your license?”

Moments later, Jason pulled up to the glass front doors in a black B5. He hopped out and assumed the passenger seat. Ten-year-old Son scurried in past the back door and settled in the center of the backseat with a commanding view forward.

Despite his 30 minutes of interactive product training, salesman-Jason wouldn’t be the expert in the car that evening. He didn’t stand a chance against the ten-year-old in the back. That boy’s bedtime stories came from Consumer Reports and Road & Track.

As Dad secured himself in the driver’s seat with the Teutonic click of the seat belt, the boy was already reaching forward from the back seat to show off the seat heaters.

“You can roll it to turn on the bun warmers, see!? And look, if you move the lever to the side you can shift the gears like a manual car!”

“Son, put your seat-belt on so we can go,” Dad said over his shoulder.

Salesman Jason racked his brain for Passat arcana that would put the boy in his backseated place.

Jason prescribed Dad and Son an anemic test drive route with a quick hop onto and off of the highway. Soon, salesman and boy sounded like an old couple.

Salesman: “And this car has…”

Boy: “…190 horsepower!”

Salesman: “So you can get up the driveway when it snows …”

Boy: “…this car has four wheel drive.”

During the drive Jason had a difficult time getting a talking point or a question across without Son finishing the salesman’s sentence.

Salesman: “And if you move that dial up there…”

Boy: “…you can open and tilt the sunroof!”

Salesman: “And if you pull on the handle…”

Boy: “…it goes back into the roof softly!”

When the three rolled back into the dealership parking lot, Jason mustered as genuine an expression he could stomach, turned back and said, “Hey kid, you seem to really know your stuff. You probably know…”

Boy: “…more about this car than you do? It’s child’s play.”

By virtue of going to Road & Track night-school, Son knew more about the Volkswagen, and every other automaker’s lineup, than any salesman should ever need to know.

At the end of the day, Jason focused on selling to the front-seat driver when really he should have focused his efforts on the fifth-grader in the back.

Instead, the boy in the back settled on an Acura TL.

David Sacci
David Sacci

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  • Sinistermisterman Sinistermisterman on Jun 11, 2012

    My father is another of those who almost NEVER listened to his son when looking at purchasing cars. I say almost because he finally admitted to me that he knew naff all about cars and wanted some help for his last purchase. I asked his preferences, drew up a shortlist, got him in contact with a half decent dealer (a mate of mine), got him a test drive and bingo. He got what he wanted. 70,000 miles later he is still as happy as a pig in sh*t.

  • AJ AJ on Jun 12, 2012

    Sounds like I need to find some kid to go car shopping with, just to irritate the salesman. LOL Nice story.

  • Lou_BC Synthetic oil for my diesel is expensive. It calls for Dexos2. I usually keep an eye out for sales and stock up. I can get 2 - 3 oil and filter changes done by my son for what the Chevy dealer charges for one oil change.
  • Joe65688619 My last new car was a 2020 Acura RDX. Left it parked in the Florida sun for a few hours with the windows up the first day I had it, and was literally coughing and hacking on the offgassing. No doubt there is a problem here, but are there regs for the makeup of the interiors? The article notes that that "shockingly"...it's only shocking to me if they are not supposed to be there to begin with.
  • MaintenanceCosts "GLX" with the 2.slow? I'm confused. I thought that during the Mk3 and Mk4 era "GLX" meant the car had a VR6.
  • Dr.Nick What about Infiniti? Some of those cars might be interesting, whereas not much at Nissan interest me other than the Z which is probably big bucks.
  • Dave Holzman My '08 Civic (stick, 159k on the clock) is my favorite car that I've ever owned. If I had to choose between the current Civic and Corolla, I'd test drive 'em (with stick), and see how they felt. But I'd be approaching this choice partial to the Civic. I would not want any sort of automatic transmission, or the turbo engine.
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