What's Wrong With This Picture: I Wouldn't Do That If I Were You Edition

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

This graphic appears on fuel pumps around the country, right after between two and five annoying questions (ENTER YOUR ZIP CODE! DO YOU WANT A CAR WASH TODAY? DO YOU WANT A RECEIPT TODAY? DO YOU WANT PINK FLOYD TO RELEASE THE “DARK SIDE OF THE MOON” STUDIO TAPES? WHAT’S UP WITH THAT BANK OF AMERICA FEE THING?) but before the non-heartfelt roboticized expression of gratitude for purchase (THANK YOU) vaguely familiar to anyone who’s ever watched Shockwave’s Burden.

Clearly, the car being filled up is a Porsche 911. The “911”, for those of you who are young enough to listen to Nicki Minaj, was a sporting vehicle made many years ago by noted SUV and luxury-sedan manufacturer “Dr. Ing. h. c. F. Porsche GmbH”. To celebrate this once-great manufacturer, I will mail a copy of occasional TTAC contributor Stephan Wilkinson’s book, “The Gold-Plated Porsche: How I Sank a Small Fortune into a Used Car, and Other Misadventures”, to the first person who can answer a couple questions about the above photo to my satisfaction. If more than fifty commenters respond, I will mail a second copy to a randomly chosen commenter. Ready? Set?

Question Although the graphic isn’t quite perfect, I can state with reasonable certainty that the model for the graphic was a 1972 Porsche 911 with a non-standard aerodynamic kit installed after purchase. How do I know this?

Question If a blind man sat in a Porsche 911 that he knew to be either a 1971 or 1972 model, how could he know for sure, just by using his right hand?

Alright, Porschephiles, go to it. Winners who already own a copy of the book may accept, instead, a random auto-show brochure of my choice.

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

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  • Timmruss Timmruss on Oct 13, 2011

    Jack I think you dropped the ball in this one, the side graphics in front of the back wheel arch belings to a turbo, it also has thicker "federal bumpers" that has been used by 1974 A blind man can recognize Porsche by the ignition key is on the left on Porsches

  • Calhounje Calhounje on Oct 13, 2011

    The bumpers give away the year and the spoiler is from an 911 SC which was not made until the 80’s. The 70’s had “duck tails”. In 71’s and 72’s reverse was up to the left. 1st gear was (is there) for all other years.

  • Detroit-Iron Detroit-Iron on Oct 13, 2011

    Based on the big tires and rear-end I always just assumed it was a stylized 959 rally car. They pop up in weird places, like the walls of the ER at the local hospital. Right next to a dinosaur, for some reason. Maybe they thought that a gray-market supercar from the 80's and an extinct monster would calm nervous children.

  • Spencer Williams Spencer Williams on Oct 14, 2011

    Am I the only one who can stay on topic here? Shockwave was really a frustrating transformer. When you had him in gun form, admit it, it looked pretty gnarly. As gnarly as a purple laser gun can look. But it commits a few cardinal sins that put it on the level of Go-bots to me. 1. Transform! For Shockwave, that pretty much means, put your legs together, put your arms together over your head, and squat like you're about to dive. That's it. Oh and his head hides. WEAK. 2. In order for Shockwave to actually look like a DEADLY LASER rather than a purple robot preparing to dive, a separate grey barrel cover thing goes over his arms, so he looks like a gun. Extraneous parts? That's a Transformer Sin. 3. Batteries. Shockwave takes batteries. Which could be cool, but his laser sounds are pretty much a Viper car alarm. I was of an age where I loved annoying sounds, and even I couldn't stand Shockwave's laser pew-pews. Redemption point: Shockwave was heavy. Die cast metal. Like Megatron, and the original Voltron cats. You could pistolwhip someone with Shockwave and they would go down. Send me the book, I won!

    • Rentonben Rentonben on Oct 14, 2011

      That is quality work. No book needed; You won the internet.

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