Attention Lemons/ChumpCar/ALMS Teams: FREE RACE CAR!

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth
attention lemons chumpcar alms teams free race car

Divorce really sucks. Not my divorce, mind you, but the divorce of the fellow who has been letting me store extra cars in one of his barns since 2004 or thereabouts. I’ve got a few things out there which will now require homes. Some of them — like my loved, yet despised, ’84 944 — will find the proverbial “place to stay at” elsewhere. And some will end up in a junkyard, unless you, the cheap-car racer, intervene.

What you see above is a genuine 1994-build Neon ACR. It was sold for racing use and had just 12,500 miles on it when it was put into storage. The cage was installed in 2008; it meets NASA, SCCA, and Grand-Am specifications. This car has won dozens of races and is a former SCCA Regional Champion. And it’s yours, free of charge… sort of.

In 2008, I was “PITted” into the wall at Mid-Ohio. We stripped our Neon down to the shell and rebuilt around a Mexican no-rust Plymouth because it was the fastest and easiest thing to do.

You’ll receive the shell pictured above, along with a rear suspension and a set of wheels so it can be towed somewhere. To make an ass-kicking LeMons contender or ice racer out of it, you will need a donor Neon from a junkyard. Do the following:

  • Take engine, transmission, most electronics out of donor;
  • Cut off the driver’s side frame horn from both cars and swap the donor one in.
  • Align it, or don’t, depending on whether you expect to see 100+mph in your series.
  • Put the rest of the stuff onto our car.

Presto. Instant fully-legal racer with a full, welded-in cage that would cost you $2000 to duplicate. There are some other neat aspects about this car which we will only disclose to the buyer.

This is what you need to do:

  • Contact me through this website or on Twitter/Facebook (@JackBaruth)
  • Show up with $250. That buys you the cage. The car is free.
  • Tow it home. Sometime soon. Like, before April 1, if you can manage it.

While it is the official policy of the LeMons judges to discourage former race cars, I think in this case I can work to ensure that your team is not unfairly penalized by Judges Jonny et al.

Oh. One more thing. If you win LeMons on laps in this car within a year after taking delivery, I’ll pay your team a $500 contingency. How’s that for an offer?

This little Mopar deserves a few more trips to victory lane. Help it get there, won’t you?

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3 of 8 comments
  • Foolish Foolish on Mar 17, 2011

    Hey Jack, WHERE IS the car? Thanks!

  • Ritchie Odell Blackburn Ritchie Odell Blackburn on Mar 17, 2011

    Jack, you should post this on if you haven't already. It'd probably easier to find someone who'd use this, if they already had a donor (or 12, like some of those guys!) I've got a donor car here for it as well, but I'm all the way over here, in Niedermeyer territory. Would love to put together a team for the Lemons event in Portland.

  • FreedMike I don't know why this dash shocks anyone - the whole "touchscreen uber alles" thing is pure Tesla.
  • ToolGuy CXXVIII comments?!?
  • ToolGuy I did truck things with my truck this past week, twenty-odd miles from home (farther than usual). Recall that the interior bed space of my (modified) truck is 98" x 74". On the ride home yesterday the bed carried a 20 foot extension ladder (10 feet long, flagged 14 inches past the rear bumper), two other ladders, a smallish air compressor, a largish shop vac, three large bins, some materials, some scrap, and a slew of tool cases/bags. It was pretty full, is what I'm saying.The range of the Cybertruck would have been just fine. Nothing I carried had any substantial weight to it, in truck terms. The frunk would have been extremely useful (lock the tool cases there, out of the way of the Bed Stuff, away from prying eyes and grasping fingers -- you say I can charge my cordless tools there? bonus). Stainless steel plus no paint is a plus.Apparently the Cybertruck bed will be 78" long (but over 96" with the tailgate folded down) and 60-65" wide. And then Tesla promises "100 cubic feet of exterior, lockable storage — including the under-bed, frunk and sail pillars." Underbed storage requires the bed to be clear of other stuff, but bottom line everything would have fit, especially when we consider the second row of seats (tools and some materials out of the weather).Some days I was hauling mostly air on one leg of the trip. There were several store runs involved, some for 8-foot stock. One day I bummed a ride in a Roush Mustang. Three separate times other drivers tried to run into my truck (stainless steel panels, yes please). The fuel savings would be large enough for me to notice and to care.TL;DR: This truck would work for me, as a truck. Sample size = 1.
  • Art Vandelay Dodge should bring this back. They could sell it as the classic classic classic model
  • Surferjoe Still have a 2013 RDX, naturally aspirated V6, just can't get behind a 4 banger turbo.Also gloriously absent, ESS, lane departure warnings, etc.