New Research Reveals: Your Father's Oldsmobile Was Designed By A Sex-Obsessed Pervert

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt
new research reveals your father s oldsmobile was designed by a sex obsessed pervert

Arthur Ross started in 1935 as a „Creative Designer” at GM. He did Cadillacs and Buicks. He had a hand in drawing the lines of some famous cars of those times, the Cadillac Sixty Special, LaSalle, Fleetwood, and the Buick Y-Job, GM’s first concept car. He also was a pervert.

Now don’t get me wrong. Where I come from, “pervert” is a honorific, and I have been to certain parties where the host proudly walked around with a red sash, inscribed “Hentai-ou.” Which is Japanese for something like “King of the perverts.” All in attendance bowed to him. It’s a Japanese thing. I’m familiar with harder core environments also. I worked for Volkswagen during a certain period. (“Bertel, how many girlfriends do you have?” “Two.” “Sorry, you don’t qualify for a board seat. Get some more.”) But let’s get back to Art Ross.

During the war, Ross was assigned to GM’s Camouflage and War Services Section. War over, he became Chief Designer of Cadillac, then Oldsmobile. Those were the golden years of American car design, and in fourteen years as Chief Designer, Ross literally changed the shape of the industry. In 1958, Ross left GM and started his own design house, Arthur Ross Associates. Remember the Parker Pen? A Ross design. Arthur Ross died in Chicago in 1981.

His estate contained a large body of art Ross had drawn, painted, airbrushed, and magic markered in his free time (and possibly during boring conferences.) It came in two genres.

His traditional art, including portraits, surrealistic paintings, and a treasure of car designs can be found at The Art Of Art

His, how shall I say this, more eclectic art is found at Erotica By Art Ross. Now let me warn you that this is not for the faint of heart. I had to do hours of painstaking research, sifting through his complete body of naked bodies, engaged in various activities, before I found one (and only one) image that is barely SFW. This is Thanksgiving weekend, you are not supposed to be working. You are safe unless your wife has installed snitching software on your home PC. In that case, she already knows about your activities. But once you click on Erotica By Art Ross, you see stuff your mother didn’t dare to warn you about. You have been warned now. I don’t want to hear any complaints.

Ross’s work reflects his fantasies of statuesque blondes, with the occasional BBW thrown in. His most prolific and most pornographic period was during the WW II time – designing new camouflage patterns obviously wasn’t challenging enough to keep his wandering mind focused.

So now we know it: Your father’s Oldsmobile was designed by a dirty young man.

(Side story: I wouldn’t have known, would I not have received mail from our in-house connoisseur of fine Detroitophilia, from our buff-book buff, Mr. Ronnie Schreiber. Strangely, he shied away from writing the piece himself, saying “I figured that it was suitable for B&B (Bertel & Baruth). I’ve only looked at just the home page, so I disclaim any blame if you find something offensive, or not offensive enough.” Sure, Ronnie. I just loved those erudite Playboy interviews.

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5 of 28 comments
  • Porschespeed Porschespeed on Nov 30, 2010

    Beethoven was a fart sniffer, and Napoleon desired the (long) unwashed crotch of Josephine. Since the beginning of recorded history, the gifted have always been a little 'un-pc' vis-a-vis their sexual proclivities. While the Puritan streak of the US may frown upon those facts, the reality is that the historical record is what it is.

    • See 1 previous
    • Porschespeed Porschespeed on Dec 09, 2010

      A sin? Really? We all have our kinks, and LVB had his. Please tell me how this infringes on yours or mine.

  • Also Tom Also Tom on Dec 09, 2010

    @porschespeed: I can't speak for ajila but I'm thinking either he was joking or he intends that it kind of sullies the memory and work of a great composer to bring out that trivial and weird aspect of him. Just speculatin'.......

    • Ajla Ajla on Dec 09, 2010

      It was a (slightly paraphrased) line from A Clockwork Orange. So mostly a joke.

  • RHD Any truth to the unconfirmed rumor that the new, larger model will be called the bZ6X? We could surmise that with a generous back seat it certainly should be!
  • Damon Thomas Adding to the POSITIVES... It's a pretty fun car to mod
  • GregLocock Two adjacent states in Australia have different attitudes to roadworthy inspections. In NSW they are annual. In Victoria they only occur at change of ownership. As you'd expect this leads to many people in Vic keeping their old car.So if the worrywarts are correct Victoria's roads would be full of beaten up cars and so have a high accident rate compared with NSW. Oh well, the stats don't agree.
  • Lorenzo In Massachusetts, they used to require an inspection every 6 months, checking your brake lights, turn signals, horn, and headlight alignment, for two bucks.Now I get an "inspection" every two years in California, and all they check is the smog. MAYBE they notice the tire tread, squeaky brakes, or steering when they drive it into the bay, but all they check is the smog equipment and tailpipe emissions.For all they would know, the headlights, horn, and turn signals might not work, and the car has a "speed wobble" at 45 mph. AFAIK, they don't even check EVs.
  • Not Tire shop mechanic tugging on my wheel after I complained of grinding noise didn’t catch that the ball joint was failing. Subsequently failed to prevent the catastrophic failure of the ball joint and separation of the steering knuckle from the car! I’ve never lived in a state that required annual inspection, but can’t say that having the requirement has any bearing on improving safety given my experience with mechanics…