Hammer Time: Crisis

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

Holy shit! That’s Mike!” I was flipping through the channels… and there he was. A friend of mine. University of Michigan MBA. Extroverted personality par excellence. Former middle manager at Ford, trying to sell used cars on a public access station. ‘Welcome to the P.T. Barnum world of no shame!” I thought to myself… and God knows I’ve already been there. First there was a Mini (nice car!). Then a PT Cruiser (at least they shined it up). Then the 2078th Impala that was for sale in South Carolina. Then…

I got bored in about five minutes. So I decided to go for a drive and see what passes for business these days in Myrtle Beach. “I need to drop off a couple of letters.” I told the wife… and so the journey to the post office began. At first I noticed the businesses. 200 restaurants. The largest were all you can eat buffets that hocked any type of gimmick to attract the public.

The few skinny American women to be found anywhere on the strip were already there at these eating depots… dressed in mermaid outfits. Giant crab billboard signs and dancing lobsters (in 100+ degree heat!) crowned an endless stretch of cheap T-shirt and chotchky stores. Tatoo parlors. Title pawns. Fast Food joints. A few doctor and dentist offices to service all the collective stupidity. God what a mess.

I realized something in that moment. I’m no better. Even though virtually everyone there was feeding on the trough of cheapness, so was I. The only difference was that I had greater awareness of their habitual parasites, and a far less better understanding of my own.

The addictions of building a business and yet being tethered by my own self-anointed cynicism. A love for making all things better (people, things, situations) had been halved and quartered by a lazy douchebag partner who made an easy living for all my auto auction work. Thankfully, I also had a highly successful car dealership with no partner in sight. Along with an emerging rental car business greatly inspired by the Meir Panim article which had simply taken off like a rocket. My work life was definitely chaotic… but interesting. But I also had way too much stress thanks in great part to the behaviors of other people.

For a talented car guy, I was obviously being pretty friggin’ dumb by stretching myself out so thin and with so little joy to show for it. But then again, it’s very hard to say no to the ideas and opportunities that are in your head. Especially when the bank account swells thanks to your persistence in ‘willing’ those ideas. That success becomes addictive and all consuming. It’s a devil of fiery stress that gathers strength with every passing thought. To the point where the business mind simply never shuts off. You re-think the stresses. Go over the scenarios… and pretty soon you miss half the afternoon with your family.

My late Dad did one thing for 60 years. He imported food. One brother has been in radiology for nearly 20 years now. He has saved countless lives… and is a great family man to boot. The other brother is a bum. But at least he’s been consistent at it since graduating college. For me… the entrepreneurial gadfly… I literally spin the plates of several cottage industries in the hope that none of them get smashed by this recession. Lucrative? Yes. Interesting? Sometimes. But with three spinning plates in the car business… my clarity and focus are starting to go deep south.

And so the mid-life crisis begins. It’s simply amazing what can come to your consciousness on a short drive to the post office.

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • SherbornSean SherbornSean on Jun 25, 2010

    Maybe its time to buy a Miata?

    • See 1 previous
    • Majo8 Majo8 on Jun 25, 2010

      I highly recommend it. Just bought a 90 Miata for $3800 in great shape. I'm enjoying it more than the slightly modded 07 Mustang that I just sold........

  • Porschespeed Porschespeed on Jun 27, 2010

    UM MBA? Schooled in the ways of failing upward, it has finally given him his comeuppance. Maybe he's a nice guy, but the School of DET has been a failure for 30 years. It is equivalent to a Geico School of Cavemen degree.

  • Zipper69 "At least Lincoln finally learned to do a better job of not appearing to have raided the Ford parts bin"But they differentiate by being bland and unadventurous and lacking a clear brand image.
  • Zipper69 "The worry is that vehicles could collect and share Americans' data with the Chinese government"Presumably, via your cellphone connection? Does the average Joe in the gig economy really have "data" that will change the balance of power?
  • Zipper69 Honda seem to have a comprehensive range of sedans that sell well.
  • Oberkanone How long do I have to stay in this job before I get a golden parachute?I'd lower the price of the V-Series models. Improve the quality of interiors across the entire line. I'd add a sedan larger then CT5. I'd require a financial review of Celestiq. If it's not a profit center it's gone. Styling updates in the vision of the XLR to existing models. 2+2 sports coupe woutd be added. Performance in the class of AMG GT and Porsche 911 at a price just under $100k. EV models would NOT be subsidized by ICE revenue.
  • NJRide Let Cadillac be Cadillac, but in the context of 2024. As a new XT5 owner (the Emerald Green got me to buy an old design) I would have happy preferred a Lyriq hybrid. Some who really like the Lyriq's package but don't want an EV will buy another model. Most will go elsewhere. I love the V6 and good but easy to use infotainment. But I know my next car will probably be more electrified w more tech.I don't think anyone is confusing my car for a Blazer but i agree the XT6 is too derivative. Frankly the Enclave looks more prestigious. The Escalade still has got it, though I would love to see the ESV make a comeback. I still think GM missed the boat by not making a Colorado based mini-Blazer and Escalade. I don't get the 2 sedans. I feel a slightly larger and more distinctly Cadillac sedan would sell better. They also need to advertise beyond the Lyriq. I don't feel other luxury players are exactly hitting it out of the park right now so a strengthened Cadillac could regain share.
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