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Bailout Watch 262: A Chrying Shame

by Edward Niedermeyer
(IC: employee)
December 7th, 2008 5:11 PM
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Automotive News [sub] reports that the exit of 5,000 salaried employees in the past week has created “chaos” within Chrysler, and bankruptcy rumors have suppliers considering cash-on-delivery demands. According to Chrysler spokeswoman MaryBeth Halprin, “the claim of chaos is unwarranted. There is certainly in this first week without 5,000 employees a transition taking place,” she said in an e-mail to Automotive News. “This is an opportunity to continue the transformation of our company, rethink work processes and focus on core function.” Right. For more on ChryCo’s “transformation,” check out this story from the NYT.
Published December 7th, 2008 5:11 PM
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The Chrysler that is asking for money today, though, is a different company than the one that asked for money under Iaccoca. There was a profitable company, then Bob Eaton, then being repeatedly bashed in the head by Daimler, and finally a sale to a heartless private equity company in there. I firmly believe that if the Chrysler of the 90's had decided to go on a quality and durability rampage instead of running away from their mess and into the arms of Daimler, they would be pointing and laughing at GM and Ford right now as they groveled at the feet of Congress. They had the hard part down: The designs. Just about every car they bloody made in the 90's was a hit... Until people actually started buying them and realized how cheaply made they were. Designing takes creativity. Better quality is just using better materials and examining your own work. Not hard at all. But, they didn't do that, so here we are.
"Chrysler spokeswoman MaryBeth Halprin: There is certainly in this first week without 5,000 employees a transition taking place, ..." Well, at least she'll have a job after C11. With outstanding sentence construction like that, she has a future writing mock-Shakespearean plays. Had to read it three times to get the gist. Perhaps saying "with 5,000 fewer employees" might make some sense, if the sentence weren't back to front and inside out in any case. PR talk. Rubbish from beginning to end. Up is down, down is up and all is brilliantly blue in the world.
wmba: Halprin is taking a course in "Weasel Words 101" and is being tutored in "Advanced Corpocracy 301" by Nardelli himself.