Phelan is Insane: "Chrysler Looks for a New Buyer"

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

We’ve already put Detroit Free Press writer Mark Phelan through the Cassandra-o-meter— and found his logic more than slightly wanting. Today’s column reveals that Phelan’s cluelessness runs deep. Contemplating the collapse of the GM – Chrysler merger, Phelan says “Finding a foreign buyer to provide advanced engineering for sophisticated small vehicles in exchange for access to Chrysler’s U.S. dealer network and expertise in trucks, minivans and big cars is the best option.” Of course, Phelan’s theory assumes that an automaker would want to buy Chrysler. While everyone and their proverbial mother believes that Jeep is some kind of brand babe, other than that, what would be the point? How do we prod thee with a ten-foot pole? Let me count the ways. First, the U.S. automotive market is dead in the water. Second, any automaker stupid enough to assume tens of billions of dollars of ChryCo debt and obligations to a union (whose primary expertise is in wresting said benefits from overpaid execs), not to mention a roster of uncompetitive products and nothing in the propduct pipeline (although I just did), is also hurting in the worldwide auto industry meltdown. Third, if said automaker wants a piece of Chrysler, they’ll wait for the now-inevitable Chapter 11 or 7 and buy the best bits for pennies on the dollar. Phelan’s take? A ChryCo sale (as such) could happen. But that would suck. “Even in that best of all possible worlds, however, Chrysler will be a smaller company than it is today. It will have fewer plants and employees, but it can remain a major contributor to the U.S. economy and an important center of engineering and design expertise for a healthy global company. We can hope Chrysler’s next owners will value it more than the last two did.”

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

More by Robert Farago

Comments
Join the conversation
2 of 19 comments
  • John Williams John Williams on Nov 09, 2008
    Chrysler as an upmarket brand? It was. Up until Plymouth closed shop, and Plymouth product was shunted over to the Chrysler catalog for the sake of retaining volume. Chrysler had to alternate from filling Plymouth's shoes inadvertently to being an "upmarket" brand. Now it's more of the former than the latter.
  • John Horner John Horner on Nov 10, 2008

    The Chrysler and Dodge brands are now pretty much completely worthless thanks to years of neglect and abuse. Jeep may have some residual value, but it is small. Thirty years ago almost nobody did what Jeep did ... now, most companies are there. Just as Volvo once owned massive mind-share for safety, and lost it as others got into that game, so it is for Jeep. Toyota, for example, could make a cheap and cheerful simple Wrangler clone tomorrow if they felt like it and would easily meet the worldwide demand for that class of vehicle. The classic FJ40 was at least the equal of the comparable Jeep in it's day, and perhaps better. Tata is also well positioned with the Land Rover brand to make a classic simple off-road 4x4. Jeep is toast. Packard, Stutz, Pierce-Arrow and others were once valuable brands as well ... until they weren't. Looking forward a bit, Harley-Davidson is likewise in a miserable strategic position. The average Harley buyer gets a year older every year, and eventually stops buying. Today's young motorcycle enthusiasts buy Japanese or even European super bikes full of technology. Harley today is where Cadillac and Lincoln were a decade or two ago. But, ask any Brand Guru and they will tell you that the Harley Davidson brand is worth a fortune because of all the logo crap it sells. But, brands have to constantly be reinvigorated and beat their competitors in order to avoid fatal decline. "in the event of a part-out strategy, how are the liabilities allocated" In a parting out strategy, only certain assets of the company are sold to new buyers. Normally the liabilities stay with the original company. Any cash from the asset sales is in theory available to partly pay off the liabilities. Typically the liabilities all stay with the corpse of the old company and some liquidation settlement is made to parcel out the cash from asset sales amongst those with claims. There are a whole set of legal priorities as to who is in line for cash, and a bunch of lawyers would get paid to argue the details in front of the courts. Only an idiot would buy Chrysler lock-stock-and-barrel including the outstanding liabilities. Cerberus, to put it mildly, blew it. Hubris, gets 'em every time.

  • ToolGuy First picture: I realize that opinions vary on the height of modern trucks, but that entry door on the building is 80 inches tall and hits just below the headlights. Does anyone really believe this is reasonable?Second picture: I do not believe that is a good parking spot to be able to access the bed storage. More specifically, how do you plan to unload topsoil with the truck parked like that? Maybe you kids are taller than me.
  • ToolGuy The other day I attempted to check the engine oil in one of my old embarrassing vehicles and I guess the red shop towel I used wasn't genuine Snap-on (lots of counterfeits floating around) plus my driveway isn't completely level and long story short, the engine seized 3 minutes later.No more used cars for me, and nothing but dealer service from here on in (the journalists were right).
  • Doughboy Wow, Merc knocks it out of the park with their naming convention… again. /s
  • Doughboy I’ve seen car bras before, but never car beards. ZZ Top would be proud.
  • Bkojote Allright, actual person who knows trucks here, the article gets it a bit wrong.First off, the Maverick is not at all comparable to a Tacoma just because they're both Hybrids. Or lemme be blunt, the butch-est non-hybrid Maverick Tremor is suitable for 2/10 difficulty trails, a Trailhunter is for about 5/10 or maybe 6/10, just about the upper end of any stock vehicle you're buying from the factory. Aside from a Sasquatch Bronco or Rubicon Jeep Wrangler you're looking at something you're towing back if you want more capability (or perhaps something you /wish/ you were towing back.)Now, where the real world difference should play out is on the trail, where a lot of low speed crawling usually saps efficiency, especially when loaded to the gills. Real world MPG from a 4Runner is about 12-13mpg, So if this loaded-with-overlander-catalog Trailhunter is still pulling in the 20's - or even 18-19, that's a massive improvement.
Next