Bailout Watch 166: Germany to GM: "Up Yours"

“Gotta ask for the bail – I mean sale, ha-ha,” Red-Ink Rick Wagoner told his man in Germany. That would be Hans H. Demant, VP Developent of GM Europe and Managing Director of Opel Germany. Wagoner instructed Demant to ask the German government for €40b, or make that a cool $50b. “What should happen, Hans? The worst thing Angela can say is no.” Demant didn’t want to go eye-to-eye with Chancellor Angela Merkel. Instead, he wrote a letter, to be co-signed by Klaus Franz, the head of Opel’s Workers Council. Usually, Demant avoids signing any paper that has Franz’s signature on it, but the situation was dire, and the message to be sent was “jobs, jobs, jobs.” In the letter, GM Germany’s unlikely duo applied for loan via the European Investment Bank, as soft as marshmallows. While they were at it, they also suggested cheap credit to buy new Opels cars, and cash into the hand of each upstanding German citizen who feeds his Opel car older than 10 years into the shredder, along with a tax credit to reward the purchase of a new car. “That should do it” said Demant. Both signed, and the urgent enquiry for Euros was expressed to Berlin.“They’ve got to be kidding us” said Frau Merkel (not in public) and instructed her spokesman to deny the request, politely pointing out that there is already a prop-up package for the whole industry afoot. Forget any special goodies for GM. She left the public flogging to Peter Ramsauer, himself head of the CSU faction in Germany’s parliament. “The Opel-guys must have lost their mind,” ranted a rambunctious Ramsauer. ”They can stick that whole program up their — hat.” We aren’t making it up, it says so right there in the Handelsblatt. (Knowledge of German required. Or take our word for it.)The “gotta ask for the bail” letter may have blown the chances for a German tax relief for new car buyers. The same day Opel’s shit hit their unusually unsympathetic fans in Berlin, noises emanated from Germany’s capital that the green washed no-tax-on-new-cars-program may already be dead in the water. It may not even leave the cabinet alive. If it does, the package will be thrown to the wolves in the parliament, who most likely will rip it to pieces. Hans and Rick are not very popular these days amongst Germany’s auto makers. Fried minds want to know: Where else in the world is GM going begging?UPDATE: Tuesday-Night-In-Germany-Flash: Berlin got over it. They met and agreed to the tax reduction after all. If you are in Germany and buy an environmentally sound car in the next six month, no car taxes will be due for the next two years. A cash handout for those who dispose of their old clunker may also be considered. Not even a mention of Opel.