Question of the Day: Do Certain Cars Make You a Bad Person?

Jonny Lieberman
by Jonny Lieberman

Kinda of a chicken and egg question here, but what the Hell. I like to think I’m basically a good person. The problem of course is that everybody likes to think they’re a good person. Yet the world is filled with people like the Honda Prelude driver I got stuck behind at 32 mph for two miles this morning. The other day I was (surprise!) driving with my girl on a very twisty one-and-a-half lane road near our house. As the particular section we were traversing was residential, I was just lugging along in second gear. Wouldn’t want to crush a Big Wheels (and have even more neighbors hang up “SLOW DOWN! CHILDREN!” signs all over the damn place). Suddenly, from seemingly nowhere, we’re face to face with a gun metal Hummer H2, charging uphill as if loaded with VX gas and being whipped by General Francis X. Hummel. Thanks to the superior superiorness of the Mazda RX-8 R3, I was able to brake, turn, scoot out of the way and flip the prick off. My girlfriend exploded, “Only awful people drive those things.” Before my adrenaline returned to normal, I was in total agreement. But, ten seconds later I said, “really?” She stuck to her guns. “You have to be a complete asshole without regard for anyone else to drive a Hummer.” Now, this is coming from the same woman who though the Bullitt ‘Stang sounded, “Wasteful.” But… at least in terms of the H2, I think she has a point. You?

Jonny Lieberman
Jonny Lieberman

Cleanup driver for Team Black Metal V8olvo.

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  • Accs Accs on Oct 02, 2008

    Hmmm As someone who frequents I-95 in 3-4 states daily... PA, MD, NJ, DE... There are quite a number of vehicles that should be hauled to the scrap yard.. WITH THE DRIVER CHAINED INSIDE.. The Gwagon.. has got to be the most pompass damn thing has ever been built. The H2 / H3.. isnt even my worry, I cut them off for the heck of it. I figure if ya got so much room over my head.. USE IT! Its the variety of other useless pompass rolling accident garbage.. that I have to deal with.. The hordes of Tahoes and Burbans and other vehicles in their size / price class riding around with Betsy Wetsy at the wheel. Talk about compensation. Apparently your chest or brain isnt large enough to operate a vehicle of this size. The 300.. is techically a nicely designed car. it flies in the face of aerodynmically designed front drive vehicle.. that litter the landscape. However.. It is a Chrapsler vehicle. They have had that thing on sale for a few years now (If it were Honda, it wouldnt look so bastardly), People who drive them obviously sit so low they have to look up to see the wheel.. and with all of the plastichrome on the body.. portholes, whitewall tires with rims trimmed in gold plate. The vehicle.. just gives off a awful demeanor that it exudes not just from the driver.. but from Chrapsler as a whole. Just tells all, that the driver should be ganged and bound. The Prius driver.. just need to stay out of the left lane. I respect the car, but stay out of that lane. There are various other SUVS including the Lambda, Lambda, Lambdas, Rovers that are just too big, to slow, and faar too combersome for their own damn good. And oh yeah.. BMW / M-B / Lex drivers are often too busy messing around with their phone talking to their newly rented asian hooker.. than figure out how to drive that 4500lb average monstrosity down the road with any grace or elegance. I actually appreciate the Ford Truck drivers because are the guys with their trucks all beat up slingin their way through the mess that is the slog through Philadelphia / NJ, DE, MD commute. I wouldnt cut them off or pass judgement on them. I would tail them through traffic.. they got a better idea of what traffic is doing and where to be and when. As for the Mustang, M3, Evo, WRX STI, Del sol, older RX7, Mitsu Eclispe drivers, its these guys I can also get through with, instead of braking at the wrong times. Most of the other stuff.. Really doesnt know whats going on. or how this slog works. But I fully and completely agree, that you are.. what you drive.

  • Noreserve Noreserve on Oct 02, 2008

    Yes - in the eyes of some. In 95, I bought a Z28, simply because it was the fastest thing I could afford at the time. I bought it for the performance. I didn't have a mullet. I didn't speak with a southern accent or live in a trailer. I was and still am an IT network geek with strong Libertarian beliefs. But, I can guarantee you that many people thought of me as a "bad" person for driving it. They just failed to realize my true motive. Oh, and I came out of an Isuszu Trooper and an Acura Integra before the Z28. Go figure. Next up was a 99 Corvette. Man, the baggage sure weighs heavy on ya in these as well. My purchase motive didn't change. My image to many sure did. Now, I was a brash, gold chain wearing guy with a "penis extender" (as my wife's friend put it). Except that I wasn't (even my wedding band is silver.) But image is everything to some. Can't shake it. I could say I don't care, but I do. The baggage does weigh on you to the point that you really have to be an enthusiast and have thick skin to deal with that kind of image. I couldn't really drive an H2, especially these days. I did test drive one several years ago just out of curiosity. I mostly remember the horrible visibility out back and the 9 MPG around town during the test drive. Baggage to spare.

  • Steve_K Steve_K on Oct 03, 2008

    These results are fantastic. I am much more likely to purchase an H2 at some point than I was before reading. My inner sociopath says buy one, and drive around being extra courteous, cheerful and nice. Adorn the bumper with a "slow down to save the earth" sticker. Then in December when those bell-ringing Santas are out, pull up in front of the supermarket blocking pedestrian and vehicular traffic, get out and put money in the donation box. Smile continuously.

  • Campisi Campisi on Oct 03, 2008

    Steve K, You, sir, are some kind of crazy genius.