Buy American and Get Free Gas or Free Gun
Go to Butler, Missouri and you'll find Max Motors, an independent car dealer that specializes in (i.e. only sells) American cars. Yup, under one roof you can buy a Buick, Cadillac, Chevy, Chrysler, Dodge, Ford, Jeep or Pontiac. Your guess is as good as mine if they sell Korean-made Aveos, Mexican made Fusions or Canadian made all sorts of stuff. Oh wait, I checked, they do. But that's not why we're telling you about Max Motors. No, we're telling you because through May 31st if you buy a new car from Max Motors you get your choice of free gas card or handgun. That's right, Max Motors is aware of both "the gasoline and crime problem [sic] in America." And while to some throwing gas at a gas problem and guns at a crime problem is like throwing fire at a fire problem or fat at a fat problem, Max Motors sees it different. Explains sales manager Walter Moore, around Butler people believe in "God, guts and guns," though they aren't handing out free Bibles or chitlin's. As you would (probably) expect, 80 percent of the customers are opting for the gun. And hey, why not? I just traded my Colt Python .357 Magnum for $250 worth of scotch and bourbon. The only drawback we see is that you don't get the gun immediately (you have to pass a background check). Max Motors might be inadvertently setting up the world's most ironic carjacking.
Cleanup driver for Team Black Metal V8olvo.
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Detroit-Iron: I'm half Canadian and trying to be funny. 1) Well, everyone starts off as a law-abiding citizen at some point. Plus, like, other people can pick up the gun right? My point is that there is nothing wrong with guns, but if you think they help solve the "crime problem" you're deluding yourself. Americans have more guns than anyone, and more people in prison. 2) Yeah, I had my .357vappraised at $750. But I've known the guy I traded it to since I was 3-years-old. So, I figured I'd cut him a deal. Hell of a hand cannon, though. I secretly miss it. Just don't tell my girl.
Firearms prevalence and crime rates don't correlate particularly well anyway. There are safe places with esssentially no legal firearms ownership (Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong) and safe places with private and relatively prevalent firearms ownership (Northern Europe, Switzerland, perhaps Canada, depending on your perceptions thanks to a spate of organized crime-related killings) I think the more people in prison part in America may be independent of the guns. Y'all just seem to like putting people in jail for some reason. Not the most affordable option. The US has roughly three times the number of guns per capita compared to Canada (or France) and nearly seven times the per capita incarceration rate.
Not a smart plan! Considering the mediocrity of virtually everything they sell, why would the offer a gun? Buyer's remorse and a suicide weapon, not good! I'd keep an especially close eye on Sebring buyers. =) Even worse, just wait until they try to get rid of the lump and learn the hard lesson about domestic vehicles resale value. It's a "Drive-By" waiting to happen!