Feds Set to Child-Proof Cars

Frank Williams
by Frank Williams

Forbes reports the House Energy and Commerce Committee has passed a bill requiring federal regulators to devise clever caveats that make power windows safer, eliminate blind spots in jumbo-sized SUVs and pickups, and keeps vehicles from rolling away (and over young 'uns). What any of that has to do with energy or commerce is anybody's guess. Anyway, committee chairman John Dingell said the bill would "help protect these young victims by instituting common-sense safety provisions in the design of cars." Why nothing was said about instituting common-sense safety training for the drivers is another mystery for the ages. Sorry– there I go digressing again. Right. Where was I? Oh yes… Jacqueline Gillan, vice president of Advocates for Highway and Auto Safety, added "nobody should have to back out of the driveway without seeing what's behind them." Well, no one should get in their car to back out of their driveway without first looking to see if there's anything in the driveway, either. Damn! At any rate, the National Highway Traffic Safety Admission has to create the new regulations within three years of the bill's enactment– too late to save Jamie Lynn Spears' first baby.

Frank Williams
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  • Lprocter1982 Lprocter1982 on Dec 20, 2007

    Just put a cowcatcher from a train on the back of every car. Or maybe a plow. Just to move everything behind the vehicle out of the way. Or prevent stupid people from driving. Either or.

  • Sherman Lin Sherman Lin on Dec 20, 2007

    I thought Dingell was Detroit's guy?

  • Jazbo123 Jazbo123 on Dec 20, 2007

    "And the olde Europeans think we are dumb, wonder why…" Actually, it's the Euros who first came up with pedestrian-friendly front ends. How is that different?

  • Luther Luther on Dec 20, 2007

    A better thing would be keeping "children" from voting.