#Merchandise

We haven’t done one of these in a long time, but a poke from our good friend Matthew Guy alerted us to a new product offered by Ford Motor Company.

One with RPMs that max out at 78.

Not since the Blue Oval convinced Dr. Pepper to introduce a 15-can cola pack to satisfy the Expedition’s obscene cupholder count has this writer been so rattled by a non-automotive automotive product. If you’re a Bronco lover, get that Starship LP out of storage.

The Aston Martin Cygnet was just the beginning.

For those who thought the luxury automaker’s now-defunct rebadged Toyota city car was a weird idea (and that includes just about everyone), just wait. Aston Martin is now eager to sell you anything — your clothes, your baby stroller, and even your house.

Sergio Marchionne’s misguided obsession with the alleged brand equity of his recently-acquired Chrysler Group marques has deepened, as Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep launched new branded merchandise today [hilarious press release here]. The funniest part of the whole cross-branding effort is the very idea that significant portions of the population want their day-to-day goods slathered with Chrysler Group brand names. The second funniest? The products themselves. The Chrysler Collection features such “luxury gifts” as an $11.95 leather calculator, a $199.95 mahogany humidor, and a $21.95 mini umbrella, all tagged with Chrysler’s new Aston-alike logo and doubtless finished in the same fine materials as the Sebring’s interior. If Davos had a Wal-Mart, this is what they’d sell.