Malibu Man and VOLT, Episode 1: The Adventure Begins!

This is a work of fiction. All usual disclaimers apply — JB

He woke up in a perfectly anonymous aqua-tiled hospital room somewhere, a million years’ worth of hallucinogenic dreams after stepping on that IED back in Afghanistan. He couldn’t remember where he’d been before that. His friends, his childhood, even his name — all of that was locked somewhere he couldn’t reach. Instead, he had a Brooks-Brothers-clad, aggressively-tanned young man standing at his bedside, grinning at him as if they’d just shared a particularly private and risqué joke.

“We’re feeling better, I see!” the man offered. “Let me get the boss.”

And just like that, the hospital room was empty and he was alone. Not for long, though; his overly-cheerful companion was soon back with a distinguished older man in tow. With a shock, he realized that he recognized “the boss”. Tall, powerful-looking, military bearing, with a perfect mane of silver hair.

“It’s you! I’ve seen you on television! You’re—“ The big man reached down and placed a powerful, masculine, dreamy finger against his lips.

“Never mind who I am. Your name is now Michael Sloan. You lost your life in the service of your country. Or, you would have, anyway, if we hadn’t taken you to our secret clinic and rebuilt you from the ground up. We had a reason to. In Afghanistan, you were one of the best. Elite. The question I have for you is: Are you ready to give your life for your country again?”

“I… suppose so,” Michael replied, “but what are you doing here, if this is a military operation? Don’t you work for… General Motors?”

“What’s good for General Motors,” the big man replied, “is good for the country. We saved your life because we need a man who exists in the shadows. Sometimes, direct action might provide the only feasible solution. I’ve tried so-called secret weapons before, but they turned to be buffet-browsing shills for garbage product. You’ll erase that shame. But you won’t be working alone. We’ve created the perfect partner for you. Better than human. The very latest twenty-first technology. Are you ready to meet your partner? We call him… VOLT.”

Read more
  • MaintenanceCosts Other sources seem to think that the "electric Highlander" will be built on TNGA and that the other 3-row will be on an all-new EV-specific platform. In that case, why bother building the first one at all?
  • THX1136 Two thoughts as I read through the article. 1) I really like the fins on this compared to the others. For me this is a jet while the others were propeller driven craft in appearance.2) The mention of the wider whitewalls brought to mind a vague memory. After the wider version fell out of favor I seem to remember that one could buy add-on wide whitewalls only that fit on top of the tire so the older look could be maintained. I remember they would look relatively okay until the add-on would start to ripple and bow out indicating their exact nature. Thanks for the write up, Corey. Looking forward to what's next.
  • Analoggrotto It's bad enough we have to read your endless Hyundai Kia Genesis shilling, we don't want to hear actually it too. We spend good money on speakers, headphones and amplifiers!
  • Redapple2 Worthy of a book
  • Pig_Iron This message is for Matthew Guy. I just want to say thank you for the photo article titled Tailgate Party: Ford Talks Truck Innovations. It was really interesting. I did not see on the home page and almost would have missed it. I think it should be posted like Corey's Cadillac series. 🙂