By on March 18, 2022

With the electrified BMW 7-series arriving in earnest next month, the manufacturer has opted to push a few teasers photos to whet our collective apatite for oversized grilles. Despite the i7 being an all-electric vehicle, BMW has kept the oversized-grille motif we’ve already seen deployed on the 4 Series and similarly electric iX SUV.

It might not make a lot of sense from an engineering perspective. But Bavaria feels that the kidney grille is an essential part of the brand’s image, so important that it put a faux variant on the iX. While the i7 teasers appear to lack the painted-on geometric patterns, expect it to be another example of form over function. We just hope BMW actually offers owners the ability to open the hood without the aid of a special tool it doesn’t want you to have. 

The big-grille theme has become somewhat controversial for the brand. I will admit to hating the design less today than I did when the BMW Concept 4 flared its massive nostrils at the 2019 Frankfurt Motor Show. But we’ll have to wait to see how the i7’s beak plays off the rest of the design. Though bold styling looks assured, which has been pretty consistent with EVs of late. Automakers are seeking to differentiate their electric models without creating a complete disconnect from the rest of their product lineup, resulting in an interesting balancing act between bizarre and beautiful.

Based on images of the 7 Series test mules, it looks as though BMW doesn’t want to stray too far from the conventional model. They’ll debut together in April, giving us a side-by-side comparison before they both go on sale later this year.

Meanwhile, what few specs BMW has provided are looking quite promising. BMW suggested that the i7 will have a driving range of 305 miles on the U.S.-specific EPA cycle. While perhaps not quite as impressive as the 350 miles provided by the Mercedes-Benz EQS, it’s more than enough to show up every all-electric model in Audi’s present lineup.

The company has also been touting an in-car theater system that looks like it might make its very first appearance on the i7. Intended for rear passengers, the 31-inch screen falls down from the roof to create a partition between the driver and the person paying their salary. Offering up to 8K resolution, the unit is much wider than a normal television and can play any content utilizing 16:9, 21:9, and even 32:9 aspect ratios. BMW says it utilizes Bowers & Wilkins surround sound system, comes with 5G connectivity, and integrated Amazon Fire TV — making it the highest resolution Fire TV currently in existence. Rear-seat occupants can even adjust their settings to dim the ambient lighting and adjust the blinds to create a more-authentic theater experience.

It’ll cost a fortune. But, considering the i7 will be even more expensive than the standard 7 Series that’s likely to eclipse $100,000 in most configurations, interested customers should easily be able to afford it.

[Images: BMW]

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25 Comments on “2023 BMW i7 Will Have Massive, Pointless Grille...”


  • avatar
    sgeffe

    The looks of those abominations make me want to barf up a kidney!

  • avatar
    dal20402

    My wife is the Oracle of Regular People Car Opinions. Her tastes tend to align with high sales numbers and with market research. She and I disagree over a lot of cars, but none more emphatically than recent BMWs. She likes the styling inside and out, and she’s going to like this thing.

    About the only thing we’ve *agreed* on recently, in the car world, is that we both like the Volvo XC90.

  • avatar
    Lynchenstein

    The grill can only get so large. Soon they’ll have to introduce a smaller grill inside the larger one so they can infinitely keep making them larger.

  • avatar
    MRF 95 T-Bird

    The Subaru “vagina” grill and the Edsel “Oldsmobile sucking a lemon” grills look sedate and well proportioned compared to this.

  • avatar
    mcs

    I hear the autonomous version has an issue where at night it escapes the garage and attempts to build a dam on the nearest stream.

  • avatar
    ravenuer

    “Pointless” is right.

  • avatar
    ToolGuy

    Some will drive this vehicle with the pointless grille on a pointless commute to a pointless job. Others will use the vehicle with the pointless grille to make pointless drives to pointless destinations.

    It will all be pointless when yet another tyrant launches yet another pointless invasion, won’t it?

    Happy Nihilism Day.

    • 0 avatar
      Lou_BC

      @ToolGuy – Was that a point about pointlessness or was your point pointless about pointlessness? Get the point?

      I would of said something earlier but I was procrastinating or was I pointless?

      LOL

      My brain hurts.

  • avatar
    ToolGuy

    Interesting article (if you are a car nut):

    https://www.stripes.com/theaters/europe/2022-03-18/secret-transfer-military-equipment-ukrainian-soldiers-5390190.html

  • avatar
    Crashdaddy430

    I love the current trend of making the grills oversize and simultaneously making the headlights razor thin so modern cars can look ridiculous . After spending 100k+ for your car it should look as awful as possible.

  • avatar
    Argistat

    A good reason I won’t buy this car, or most cars from Toyota or Lexus. I’m a former Toyota owner before they “upgraded” to the ugly spindle grill, not to mention ugly bulging taillights and headlights.

    If I want a car that looks like a clown, I’ll just wear a clown suit.

  • avatar
    Superdessucke

    Pointless? Maybe not. They should study the feasibility of putting mini windmills into those grills and maybe those could create some electricity for the batteries? I admit I’m not an engineer but that makes some sense to me.

  • avatar
    MitchConner

    Funny how the Germans can crank out truly ugly cars and not get called on it. German food stinks. Their architecture isn’t anything special. Their resorts aren’t all that. Yet when it comes to cars all of a sudden we’re supposed to be immediately impressed.

    German cars were truly head and shoulders above the rest — years ago. Now they’re just another face in the crowd. Put a domestic logo on that thing and it’d be called grotesque. A Roundel? Dopes from Shanghai to Silicon Valley want one. Same with the Porsche Panamera. Just an ugly lump.

    Happens a lot in fashion as well. 90-95% of the stuff cranked out by Balenciaga is stunningly bad — yet people spend thousands for a pair of injection molded Crocs-like things that are you’ve got to be kidding me bad.

    Just goes to show that having money doesn’t mean you have any rate. Meanwhile, the right ad campaign could blow a giant hole in the side of BMW’s sales if a competitor had the guts to do it.

    • 0 avatar
      Superdessucke

      In 2021 BMW’s U.S. sales were the 3rd highest that they’ve been since 2005. Only 2014-15 were better, and only by a few units. And their market share has never been higher. So they are clearly producing the CUVs and cars people want. I don’t know if any magic ad campaign’s going to change that.

  • avatar

    Yeah, grill is good. There is never enough of grill.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    “BMW suggested that the i7 will have a driving range of 305 miles on the U.S.-specific EPA cycle.”

    That’s impressive, and thank you for specifying the test protocol.

  • avatar
    BEPLA

    The 7 never needed a massive grille in ICE form anyway.
    Look at the B3 Passat and the first gen Taurus and Sable – virtually grille-less cars.
    Look at any new BMW or Audi – At least 1/3-1/2 the grille is blocked off – and the big “vents” in the bumpers are blocked off unless you spring for an M or RS.
    That along with the current rage for bumperless auto design means a lot of unnecessary breakage and replacement costs when the guy parallel parked ahead of you bumps you with his beater. I can just imagine what that will cost with a Mercedes EQ(x) class and their illuminated fascias.
    Tesla and Lucid are on the right track with sleek and clean styling. More of that, please.

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