One of Our CEOs Is Missing

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems
one of our ceos is missing

Elon Musk — a polarizing figure, if there ever was one, in the world of cars — marked the end of what would normally have been a typical work week by tapping into the deepest reaches of his mind.

In compliance with his personal credo of treating us all like one of the family, the Tesla CEO made sure we were all privy to this stream of consciousness by pulling out his phone and opening up Twitter. And in doing so, as has happened before, his company’s stock suffered.

I am selling almost all physical possessions. Will own no house.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 1, 2020

Seems there’s to be a yard sale in Palo Alto in the coming days, so get ready to pick up some concert posters and folding chairs. Either Musk plans to start renting an apartment and reliving his dorm days, or he’s found a fun new use for one of his company’s oft-discussed tents.

After spending much of the week raging about the coronavirus pandemic and California’s lockdown order — a measure that’s kept Tesla’s Fremont assembly plant offline since the end of March — Musk quickly tapped into the revolutionary fervor percolating through certain elements of a society weary of staying indoors.

Now give people back their FREEDOM

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 1, 2020

Mel Gibson, who this writer still thinks is a bankable star, couldn’t be reached for comment.

After rallying the troops, Musk then honed in on the real problem afflicting the country: his own company’s stock price. Something needs to be done about that menace.

Tesla stock price is too high imo

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 1, 2020

Ask and ye shall receive!

Wasn’t there a group of tweet-blocking lawyers tasked with monitoring Musk for just such an eventuality?

In the span of an hour, Tesla’s share price sank from more than $761 to just over $686, erasing roughly $10 billion in valuation. This, a day after Tesla’s unexpectedly rosy first-quarter earnings report added $13 billion to the company’s market value. Many would agree, of course, that Tesla’s stock is way too high.

Musk then showed his patriotism by tweeting snippets from the Star-Spangled Banner, possibly after ripping off his shirt during the low flypast of a carrier-based USN warplane. Maybe that latter thing didn’t happen; we don’t know.

There’s a lot of things we don’t know when it comes to Elon Musk.

[Image: Tesla]

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3 of 24 comments
  • Speedlaw Speedlaw on May 03, 2020

    Has Tesla ever made money, or is it an offset for something else in the Musk Empire ?

    • SCE to AUX SCE to AUX on May 04, 2020

      Tesla was profitable for all of 2019, and Q1-2020. And 1 or 2 quarter some other time in the past. Other than the virus, they seem to have turned the corner.

  • Brett Woods Brett Woods on May 03, 2020

    Tesla strongest automaker in the world right now. Your girl might be mad ‘cause she think you be drunk texting instead of holding on to her. Give her a kiss and we’ll see you Monday bud.

  • Fahrvergnugen NA Miata goes topless as long as roads are dry and heater is running, windscreen in place.
  • 3SpeedAutomatic As a side note, have you looked at a Consumers Report lately? In the past, they would compare 3 or 4 station wagons, or compact SUVs, or sedans per edition. Now, auto reporting is reduced to a report on one single vehicle in the entire edition. I guess CR realized that cars are not as important as they once were.
  • Fred Private equity is only concerned with making money. Not in content. The only way to deal with it, is to choose your sites wisely. Even that doesn't work out. Just look at AM/FM radio for a failing business model that is dominated by a few large corporations.
  • 3SpeedAutomatic Lots of dynamics here:[list][*]people are creatures of habit, they will stick with one or two web sites, one or two magazines, etc; and will only look at something different if recommended by others[/*][*]Generation Y & Z is not "car crazy" like Baby Boomers. We saw a car as freedom and still do. Today, most youth text or face call, and are focused on their cell phone. Some don't even leave the house with virtual learning[/*][*]New car/truck introductions are passé; COVID knocked a hole in car shows; spectacular vehicle introductions are history.[/*][*]I was in the market for a replacement vehicle, but got scared off by the current used and new prices. I'll wait another 12 to 18 months. By that time, the car I was interested in will be obsolete or no longer available. Therefore, no reason to research till the market calms down. [/*][*]the number of auto related web sites has ballooned in the last 10 to 15 years. However, there are a diminishing number of taps on their servers as the Baby Boomers and Gen X fall off the radar scope. [/*][/list]Based on the above, the whole auto publishing industry (magazine, web sites, catalogs, brochures, etc) is taking a hit. The loss of editors and writers is apparent in all of publishing. This is structural, no way around it.
  • Dukeisduke I still think the name Bzzzzzzzzzzt! would have been better.