QOTD: The Most Boring Car of Them All?

Corey Lewis
by Corey Lewis
qotd the most boring car of them all

Ah yes, boring cars. They’re everywhere. And really they’ve been everywhere in the past. It’s just the nature of the Internet Car Enthusiast to paint a rosier picture than that of reality. His or her tinted spectacles are very cheap, by the way. Just like they’re supposed to be.

But enough about designer frames from Walmart. Tell us about the most boring car you’ve ever encountered.

Of course, “boring” means different things to different people. For youths, perhaps a car with decent infotainment passes the boring bar, even if it’s a snooze to drive. For others, a commuter car isn’t something that falls into any boring or exciting category, it just is. The special breed which is the ICE expects more from their vehicle. More power, more torque, more consumption, more handling. Passion, soul, and various other crap adjectives journalists put into glossy car reviews.

Today we don’t need any of those words, as the cars we seek all lack these characteristics. The boring car pick doesn’t have to be a car you’ve driven recently, either. Just one that sticks out in your mind as especially boring. I don’t really have a boring car to offer you, specifically.

Oh wait — yes, I do. And it’s this, the Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera. You’ll be staggered to learn Olds made this very car until 1996 before finally killing it off. It started production in 1981, and had just the minimal amount of visual refreshing and upgrades in equipment and safety to qualify it as car.

I’m not saying it wasn’t reliable — the A-body was decent at that; you can find cockroach examples around today. Nor were they excessive consumers of the gasoline liquids. But never in my life have I driven such a boring car. The steering had no feel, the seats provided no support, and the engine and transmission were only vaguely connected by the idea of a throttle. Put the pedal to the carpet and you accelerated at a single pace. Let off the throttle, and you slowed down. The wheel could provide turns of left or right in an approximate way. I’m saying this as a fan of Oldsmobile, by the way. But that wasn’t a great Oldsmobile, nor a representation of what a car could or should be. It was a piece of car which was just dreadfully boring.

Let’s hear your picks for the most boring thing you’ve ever driven.

[Images: General Motors]

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  • APaGttH APaGttH on Oct 17, 2018

    1970s Plymouth Valiant or Chevy Chevette Diesel 1980s Chevy Celebrity with the 2.5 Iron Duke 1990s Ford Tempo/Mercury Topaz 4-cylinder auto or Ford Contour that isn't badged SVT 2000s 1997* - 2005 Chevy Malibu 2010s Toyota Yaris (not the Mazda2 Toyota badge job, the "Toyota" Toyota Yaris) or Toyota Prius C

  • Garak Garak on Oct 18, 2018

    I nominate the Kia Venga. It's the most generic, gutless blob on wheels I've ever owned. I often fail to recognize it on parking lots. So uninspiring it hurts.

  • KOKing I car-sat an A32 while its owner was out of the country, and the then whiz-bang VQ motor was great, but the rest of it wasn't any better than a XV10 or XV20. Definitely the start of its downward slide, unfortunately.
  • Norman Stansfield Why are leaf springs still a thing on this truck?
  • Syke The expected opening comments. Have had mine for two years now, the car has done exactly what I want out of it, and a little better. I'm quite happy with the car, haven't had to adjust my driving style or needs in the slightest, and . . . . oh, did a mention that I don't give a damn what today's price at the pump is?Probably going to go for a second one in the coming year, the wife's happy enough with mine that she's ready and willing to trade in the Nissan Kicks. Eventually, the not often used van will end up getting traded on a Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid, basically ensuring that we don't use gas for anything except the occasional long trip.And the motorcycles.
  • Bobbysirhan I've never found the Allegro appealing before, but a few years of EV rollouts make it seem downright desirable.
  • Scoutdude I know that dealership. Way back when my friend's grandfather was that Turner that owned the Chrysler Plymouth International dealer, in MacPherson. Of course the International was dropped when they didn't deem the Scout reason enough to keep the franchise. I moved from there in late 1978 so it is possible I saw this running around town way back when.
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