Just Terrible: Mini Launches One-off Cooper Celebrating Royal Wedding

Matt Posky
by Matt Posky

For some reason, the British royal family remains pertinent in popular culture. We’re not sure what to attribute it to, either. Maybe it all comes down to the Queen’s smile or perhaps it’s just celebrity culture run amok. Either way, “the fam” is still totally relevant in the United Kingdom, even though no royal edicts have been issued for quite some time.

The United States’ obsession with the family is even harder to come to grips with. Despite breaking off from Britain in 1776, American supermarkets still have magazines featuring royal weddings on the cover. This obsession with regality doesn’t extend to other parts of the world — a shame, considering the Saudi Prince, Sultan bin Salman, recently held a wedding that included a parade of high-end autos, with 30 ice-white Range Rovers just for the bridal party. But we suppose that’s par for the course when you’re a multi-billionaire.

Britain’s royals, while still rich, don’t have the kind of scratch necessary to field an armada of cars for a princely wedding. It’s also not their style. But Mini decided to swoop in and capitalize on the Western World’s obsession with the joining of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle by delivering a car celebrating the union.

As a one-off, you won’t see this modified Cooper entering production. Instead, BMW Group said it plans to donate the unique vehicle to the Children’s HIV Association for public auction. Whoever purchases it is either a kind-hearted philanthropist or celebrity-obsessed lunatic.

“As an iconic British brand with almost 60 years of history in the UK, we are pleased to mark the royal wedding with this special charitable gift,” said Oliver Heilmer, head of the Mini design team. “The Mini Design team has created a one-off Mini Hatch for the occasion. Its specially designed roof graphic combines with 3D-printed personalized interior and exterior details as well as special embroidery to make this a MINI like no other.”

Despite being little more than a marketing opportunity, the brand does appear to have taken special care to build the car. Graphics that join Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s national flags are everywhere. Although the final result is a bit abstract; figuring out where the Stars and Stripes end and the Union Jack begins isn’t easy.

Other details included themed taillights, chrome accents, and little love tributes all over the interior. Signal indicators have also been 3D-printed and embellish the initials M and H with a heart and rings. When opened, the doors project “Just Married” onto the ground too. While not overdone to a point that becomes inexcusably offensive, the heavy-handed branding is still just awful. But someone’s aunt probably thinks it’s the best-looking car ever made.

As stated before, this is a one-off car, so you can’t buy one. However, you could build you own. The brand recently launched its “Mini: Yours Customized” pilot program in a handful of markets and the wedding car serves as an advertisement for what’s possible. You can, of course, do your own thing by imprinting your own words on a custom dashboard, illuminated doorframe, turn signals, and/or LED door projectors.

It’s gimmicky to the extreme, but remains kind of a cool option if you’re the kind of person who is into extensive levels of personalization. You might want to pass knowledge of the service’s existence to that weird aunt.

[Images: BMW Group]

Matt Posky
Matt Posky

A staunch consumer advocate tracking industry trends and regulation. Before joining TTAC, Matt spent a decade working for marketing and research firms based in NYC. Clients included several of the world’s largest automakers, global tire brands, and aftermarket part suppliers. Dissatisfied with the corporate world and resentful of having to wear suits everyday, he pivoted to writing about cars. Since then, that man has become an ardent supporter of the right-to-repair movement, been interviewed on the auto industry by national radio broadcasts, driven more rental cars than anyone ever should, participated in amateur rallying events, and received the requisite minimum training as sanctioned by the SCCA. Handy with a wrench, Matt grew up surrounded by Detroit auto workers and managed to get a pizza delivery job before he was legally eligible. He later found himself driving box trucks through Manhattan, guaranteeing future sympathy for actual truckers. He continues to conduct research pertaining to the automotive sector as an independent contractor and has since moved back to his native Michigan, closer to where the cars are born. A contrarian, Matt claims to prefer understeer — stating that front and all-wheel drive vehicles cater best to his driving style.

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  • WallMeerkat WallMeerkat on May 14, 2018

    A German British car sounds perfect for the Royal family (who are of German ancestry)

  • Turf3 Turf3 on May 14, 2018

    "What do you mean, calling me a German spy? Why, I'm as British as, as, as, Queen Victoria!" "Oh, you mean your mother was a German, your father was half German, and you married a German?" 10 points for anyone who can identify the source of that quotation.

    • Sub-600 Sub-600 on May 14, 2018

      I believe that was from a short lived BBC comedy with the guy from the “Mr. Bean” films, back in the ‘80s if I’m not mistaken. I’m still trying to figure out why the author of this article hates the royals so much. They do charity work and promote the U.K., what’s the problem? I think many Americans are interested because it’s tradition. Tradition is constantly under fire in the U.S., it seems like there’s always an axe to grind here. Even innocuous traditions like the Boy Scouts are under fire. Lots of Americans are of British descent as well. The author speaks of “coming to grips” with America’s obsession regarding the royals. Coming to grips? Is he resigning himself to something? How will the nuptials of Prince Henry and Ms. Markle directly influence his life? Curious article.

  • Redapple2 I gave up on Honda. My 09 Accord Vs my 03. The 09s- V 6 had a slight shudder when deactivating cylinders. And the 09 did not have the 03 's electro luminescent gages. And the 09 had the most uncomfortable seats. My brother bought his 3rd and last Honda CRV. Brutal seats after 25 minutes. NOW, We are forever Toyota, Lexus, Subaru people now despite HAVING ACCESS TO gm EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT. Despite having access to the gm employee discount. Man, that is a massive statement. Wow that s bad - Under no circumstances will I have that govna crap.
  • Redapple2 Front tag obscured. Rear tag - clear and sharp. Huh?
  • Redapple2 I can state what NOT to buy. HK. High theft. Insurance. Unrefined NVH. Rapidly degrading interiors. HK? No way !
  • Luke42 Serious answer:Now that I DD an EV, buying an EV to replace my wife’s Honda Civic is in the queue. My wife likes her Honda, she likes Apple CarPlay, and she can’t stand Elon Musk - so Tesla starts the competition with two demerit-points and Honda starts the competition with one merit-point.The Honda Prologue looked like a great candidate until Honda announced that the partnership with GM was a one-off thing and that their future EVs would be designed in-house.Now I’m more inclined toward the Blazer EV, the vehicle on which the Prologue is based. The Blazer EV and the Ultium platform won’t be orphaned by GM any time soon. But then I have to convince my wife she would like it better than her Honda Civic, and that’s a heavy lift because she doesn’t have any reason to be dissatisfied with her current car (I take care of all of the ICE-hassles for her).Since my wife’s Honda Civic is holding up well, since she likes the car, and since I take care of most of the drawbacks of drawbacks of ICE ownership for her, there’s no urgency to replace this vehicle.Honestly, if a paid-off Honda Civic is my wife’s automotive hill to die on, that’s a pretty good place to be - even though I personally have to continue dealing the hassles and expenses of ICE ownership on her behalf.My plan is simply to wait-and-see what Honda does next. Maybe they’ll introduce the perfect EV for her one day, and I’ll just go buy it.
  • 2ACL I have a soft spot for high-performance, shark-nosed Lancers (I considered the less-potent Ralliart during the period in which I eventually selected my first TL SH-AWD), but it's can be challenging to find a specimen that doesn't exhibit signs of abuse, and while most of the components are sufficiently universal in their function to service without manufacturer support, the SST isn't one of them. The shops that specialize in it are familiar with the failure as described by the seller and thus might be able to fix this one at a substantial savings to replacement. There's only a handful of them in the nation, however. A salvaged unit is another option, but the usual risks are magnified by similar logistical challenges to trying to save the original.I hope this is a case of the seller overvaluing the Evo market rather than still owing or having put the mods on credit. Because the best offer won't be anywhere near the current listing.
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