By on May 21, 2017

chevrolet-suburban-2005

There wasn’t anything particularly bizarre happening within the automotive realm last week, so our Freaky Friday posting was absent from its usual rotation. However, while our writing staff was finishing its day, two car thieves threw a Hail Mary of weirdness down the field for a touchdown.

A beige Chevrolet Suburban owned by a contractor working for Daniel & Sons Funeral Home was transporting a corpse when witnesses claim 28-year-old Tanya Albrecht stole it from a convenience store parking lot in Bryan, Texas. The SUV had been left unattended with the keys in the ignition, presumably because the owner assumed nobody would want to steal a car with a dead body in the back. 

Whether or not Albrecht was aware of the vehicle’s cargo is unclear. We normally associate corpse haulers with a hearse or ambulance, so she might have received quite the shock when she peered into the rearview mirror for the first time. We at least know she didn’t want to keep the body. According to KBTX, police discovered the former individual dumped with a stretcher near a rural road in Brazos County.

A Brazos County Sheriff’s Deputy spotted the Suburban a few hours later and arrested Albrecht and 27-year-old Adam Crow, who has his own last name tattooed onto his neck. The pair were charged with unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, while Albrecht was charged with abuse of a corpse.

The body is now resting comfortably at the Travis County Medical Examiner’s Office.

[Image: General Motors]

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14 Comments on “Thieves Swipe Suburban Working as a Hearse and Dump the Body...”


  • avatar
    Lou_BC

    Goes to show how stupid some people are since they were still driving the Suburban a few hours later.
    WTF were they thinking? Dead men tell no tales?

  • avatar
    doublechili

    Interesting variation on “leave the gun, take the cannoli”.

  • avatar
    Felix Hoenikker

    Meth is a powerful drug! Makes you do funny things!

  • avatar
    JEFFSHADOW

    At least meth heads do use Crest and Colgate.
    They have to brush their tooth!

  • avatar
    pale ghost

    Average high May temp in Bryan, Tx is 85F. I’m guessing the undertakers left it running with A/C on to keep the corpse from rapidly decomposing. I remember an episode in 6 feet under where a rookie undertaker decided to have lunch while his van with a stiff in it baked in the sun.

  • avatar
    jpolicke

    I would have loved to see the reaction when they got round to looking in the back. Scared stiff?

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    What do they say about “assume”?

    “28-year-old”

    Freudian slip?

    “Adam Crow, who has his own last name tattooed onto his neck.”

    Neat feature! In case his head and body are ever separated, the neck down can be identified.

  • avatar
    indi500fan

    I have no data, but perusing mug shots seems to indicate a high correlation between neck tats and incarceration.

  • avatar
    Driver8

    This is a story about Adam Crow and Tanya Albrecht
    Two young lovers with nothin’ better to do
    Than sit around the house, get high, and watch the tube
    And here is what happened when they decided to cut loose

  • avatar
    dukeisduke

    You read stories all the time about people leaving cars running while they go into the store, and the cars getting stolen, yet people still do it. Fortunately, in this case the passenger was already dead. A six-year-old boy wasn’t so fortunate, last week in Mississippi:

    http://ktla.com/2017/05/18/3-mississippi-teenagers-arrested-for-allegedly-killing-6-year-old-boy-after-stealing-car-he-was-left-in/


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