By on May 22, 2017

BORGHI,RN, ITALY - AUGUST 12: power music audio system with amplifiers bass and treble speakers in the car trunk, exhibited during the rally "Fashion tuning club" on August 12 2012 in Borghi RN Italy, Image: ermess/Bigstock

Youthful exuberance. We’ve all fallen victim to it. From “hold my beer” moments to an ill-advised rendezvous with you best friend’s girl, one’s youth is often rife with boneheaded choices.

Thing is, as gearheads, we have yet another outlet on which to waste money and make poor decisions: our cars. And, like you, I’ve definitely a few doozies in my closet.

Insane amounts of cheddar blown on ill-advised engine modifications.

Gonzo turbo swaps that blew up in less than a week.

Lift kits with all the structural integrity of a week-old salad.

Personally, I was fond of vaporizing paychecks by way of monstrous sound systems easily worth more than the car. Amps, sub-woofers the size of banquet tables, and miles of wiring all conspired to drain my bank account faster than effluent gets sucked down an airplane toilet. I once installed door speakers so big that my front windows wouldn’t roll down. This necessitated reclining my driver’s seat and opening the back glass in order to shout at the McWaitress in the McWindow.

Bad car-related decisions weren’t limited to, y’know, actual cars.

On one occasion, I was sick and tired of wedging myself between the underside of my tired Ford Escort wagon and the wooden floor of my father’s garage. Seizing a hand saw, I cut a coffin-sized hole in the floorboards, creating an impromptu pit like at a quick-oil place but without the apathetic attendants. My father did not appreciate this modification to his garage, especially since my cuts were about as straight as the Nordschleife.

It wasn’t the first time something I’d carved up something on impulse.

One lazy summer day in the late ‘90s, a friend of mine happened to have an aftermarket sunroof, a Sawzall, and his father’s Hyundai Stellar (look it up) in his garage all at the same time. You can imagine the result. I will say this, however — at least it didn’t leak.

What’s the most imprudent, darkest, misguided decision you’ve ever made with a car? We’ve all got stories. What’s yours?

[Image: ermess/Bigstock]

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69 Comments on “QOTD: What’s the Dumbest Thing You’ve Done with a Car?...”

  • avatar

    QOTD: What’s the Dumbest Thing You’ve Done with a Car?

    My first wife.

  • avatar

    Taking a minty ’86 Monte Carlo SS, swapping in $8k worth of new engine (almost 2x the horsepower) and transmission, redoing the entire interior, new tires, new shocks, etc. Only to end up selling the car a year later for the amount I bought it for. It was a great way to go into debt.

    Another: Adding an aftermarket air intake system to a ’97 Alitma (5hp yo! + a check engine light). It sounded so awful that I drove right back home and put the stock system back in.

  • avatar

    OK but the next QOTD had better be, “What’s the best mod you’ve ever made to a car?”

    Stupidest? sawing the rusty exhaust pipe off ahead of the catalytic converter for that oh-so-sweet sound.

  • avatar

    Lets see…I once traded a nice 70 Camaro for a 69 Marquis that was past its “best before date”…I needed a bigger car..Huge ,( to say nothing of expense, and aggravation).. youthful error.

    Then there was my 66 Parisienne. I bought a crate 283, and had the Powerglide rebuilt. I then spent way too much on new door skins, and quarter panels….Of course, who would think that the frame would rot in two places..I parted it out, and recovered about 20 percent of my “investment”

  • avatar

    I too, had the car stereo bug. Precision Power amps, Boston Acoustic separates, two Kicker 12’s in a custom sealed enclosure, removable-faceplate Alpine CD and half-DIN crossover slope adjuster & EQ, all Escoteric Audio lines and power distribution, etc. etc. At the time it was a $4000 install in a $4000 car (’87 Dodge Shadow Turbo) – did it all myself!

    But, that’s not the dumbest thing I ever did with (to) a car. No, that would have to be after I swapped engines in my ’78 Buick Regal in high school. The 231 V6 had put a rod through the block so I dropped in a small-block Olds V8. This was a good decision. The dumb idea was drilling holes in the rear wheel wells and installing a washer pump/reservoir & lines so that I could pump water & bleach over the right rear tires and do smoky burnouts!

    • 0 avatar

      That’s “right over the rear tires”. Couldn’t edit the comment for some reason.

    • 0 avatar

      I was the first of my friends to go with cassette tapes over 8 track in the 70s . I bought the original Pioneer super tuner FM/cassette player in 1977 and blew all their 8 track tape listening minds with the sound of the albums that I recorded onto cassette tapes . One of the few things I did right back then .

  • avatar

    I put a set of those oblong, yellow lens, Walmart bought “driving lamps” on my ’96 Cougar cause I thought it would look cool. I turned them on once before a rock went through the passenger side one. I left them on, crooked and broken for years, just to remind myself that Walmart bought auto “upgrades” are a bad idea.

  • avatar

    Buy a Ford Aerostar!

  • avatar

    Which is the fastest car?

    A rental car.

    I’ll just leave it at that.

  • avatar

    Dumbest decision as in financial self harm? Getting rid of my reliable domestic to buy a E46 330i. My introduction to the concept of “German Reliability is a Myth” was really painful.

    • 0 avatar

      At least when I got a horrible German car, I got one that was almost 30 years old and – at $1200 – not overpriced even though it was overpriced.

      (I wanted to learn to work on cars. I did. Drove that thing for over a decade, though I was grateful to have a backup vehicle.)

  • avatar

    Bought an aftermarket extended warranty.

  • avatar

    I wanted a convertible.

    So I took a Sawzall to the roof of my Dodge Stealth so I could have one.

    Forgot some minor details… like how Ohio has snow in winter, and that I didn’t have a garage to park it in, and that sometimes it rains… it was after all my only car. So I carried around a tarp to cover it with when I parked it.

    Totally true story. Eventually I made a custom convertible top with Jo-Ann Fabrics vinyl and a snap-kit acquired from walmart designed for boat covers, as well as some intro to welding frame pieces. Man I was clueless, but I sure learned a lot.

    #NoRegrets. Plus if anyone sees this car floating around upstate new york, I’d like to buy it back. I’m sure its in a junk yard now though :( It looks like a 3000GT because I replaced all dodge parts with Mitsubishi ones, which sounds fine, but I got pulled over a whole lot… “Your plate says it belongs to a dodge, but your car says mitsubishi”. I’m sure that was just an excuse to pull me over.

    • 0 avatar

      Funny.. I went to school with a guy who had bought an old Datsun B210 with no roof. Another Sawzall-convertible job. The car had been a beach car on the Cape back in the 80s. He buys..ermm was given this thing and decides to build a roof out of 2x4s and heavy plastic wrap. What a mess.
      The pressure build up from the wind was constantly ripping the roof off.
      Guy was a real life Kramer.

  • avatar

    My decision wasn’t what I did to the car, it was the actual car. My very first car was 1969 VW Fastback. It had fuel injection and an automatic trans. To say it was slow was huge understatement. And because it was FI AND automatic it was a mechanical nightmare. Things were constantly going wrong and people kept telling me “I’d consider selling this thing”. “No, no,” I’d reply, “As soon as I finish this one last thing, everything will be great!”
    …And the money kept flowing down the drain.
    I traded it in for for a new car (1981 Dodge Colt, but that’s another story…), certain the VW was on death’s door.
    A couple of years later, I received a parking ticket for the VW because nobody straightened out the paperwork correctly. Some how it soldiered on

  • avatar

    I did the stereo thing, even entered my car in competitions. However I don’t regret it one bit – it wasn’t dumb back then, it was a fun high school / college thing. Sure I burned a ton of money but I learned plenty and loved to crank it up. I still do audio upgrades with amps and subs, but I no longer rip out my back seat or do massive projects that ruin the interior. The current systems I have are totally stealth. The audio upgrade is huge but the look is completely stock aside from the radio in the dash.

    Dumbest thing: purchasing wheels / rims with the wrong offset. I thought as long as the wheel fit (IE: had the right lug pattern) then all was good. Turns out the deep dish, cool looking and expensive wheels I got for my FWD Honda had offsets designed for a RWD truck, so they stuck out like a sore thumb (literally) and thus looked massively stupid. So the wheels spent many months sitting in a closet before I off loaded them… at a massive financial loss.

    Another dumb thing I did: buy an Isuzu Rodeo. I traded it in just 8 months later, that is how much hate I had for it.

    I can only assume in few years kids that are part of today’s “stance” crowd will realize that narrow tires stretched onto wide wheels with stupid levels of camber is all kinds of dumb. This trend can’t go away soon enough!

  • avatar

    Put snow chains (cables) on it.

    Had a GTI, installed them per instructions, but this model had a rubber tensioning ring.

    The rubber from that ring rubbed off onto the wheels, and I could never get it all off. Managed to get just enough off to where people couldn’t tell unless they looked closely at it right after it was washed.

  • avatar

    Ooh! One other one to add:

    I got a small cut in the sidewall of a tire – it was more like a little flap.

    I crazy glued the flap shut. Drove for the rest of the treadlife without issue. It occurs to me in retrospect that this was not smart, even if they were Super Swampers.

  • avatar

    Needed new rear drum brakes on a ’67 Tempest, took off both wheels and all the brake parts, had no idea how to put it back together (lots of springs and stuff) so it had to be towed to a garage to be done right. So much for do it yourself saving money.

  • avatar

    Well, I bought an RX-8, so that was pretty dumb.
    Tied for that was selling my RX-8.
    Admittedly, buying the same RX-8 a second time was probably the dumbest.

    I’m the 1st and 4th owner of a car known for being unreliable. I’m not a clever man.

  • avatar

    So is confined to dumb mods?
    If that is the case I haven’t done anything stupid.
    Does dumb include reckless or since this involves cars, wreck-less or wreck-full ;)

  • avatar

    Replaced, on my DD e36 M3, the dual-mass flywheel with a lightweight single-mass one. The driveline NVH drove my wife nuts, and the chatter at idle was agricultural; all for a zingy rev-matching (raw, gritty, unfiltered) honey of a motor.

  • avatar

    70 VW Bug: The gasket on the otherwise working and watertight factory sunroof didn’t look too good, so I tore the whole assembly apart, painted everything, installed the new gasket, put it together, tested it … and had not only a huge scratch in the sunroof, but also water in the car for the rest of its (albeit short) life.

    66 VW Bug: “Rebuilt” (read: fiddled with) everything, including brakes, but forgot that there still wasn’t any brake fluid in the shiny new brake lines when the engine was first fired up. So, test drive! No plates yet (fortunately), so I was confined to first reversing down Dad’s driveway, then accelerating back up and smashing–unbraked–into the rear wall of the garage, with enough witnesses to never live that one down. But honestly, that car was one single big mistake. I invested about what a really nice one of similar age would have cost, and also half a year’s worth of work, into a vehicle that in its few years left proved to be neither reliable nor nice. Sure I had fun with it, as one is wont to do in their early 20s, but a better car wouldn’t have been any less fun … and also wouldn’t have been stored for a decade and then junked anyway afterwards.

    My other car mistakes are all the same: Sold it (or even gave it away) just before its value took off. Always the same story, with the aircooled VWs just like with the Mk2 Golf 16V. Adding up all that blown money would easily net me a really nice classic VW now.

    • 0 avatar

      Sounds similar to the canvas sunroof gasket on my 1974 VW Sunbug which split/rotted right down the middle when the car was 6 years old . A round rubber clothesline like material was spilling out of the middle of the gasket , so I just pulled it entirely out . Of course then it started leaking water – DUH ! I crazy glued that round rubber piece back into the canvas which miraculously stopped the water leak . I’m happy to say it never leaked again right up until I totaled that car a year later !

      A couple of years before that I tried backing up my 65 Mustang onto lift ramps (only used them once to change out the starter – I had to get more use out of my $19.99 investment) to raise it up to get at a rotted rear brake line to replace it . The parking brake was pretty useless at stopping it fast enough and I had to jack up the rear axle to get the stuck under the rocker panels lift ramps out . I replaced that line only to have it leak down at the Jersey shore and had to way overpay for brake fluid at some garage . Of course I bought a straight brake line and tried to bend it to the original shape with a couple of box end wrenches and a vice . I later found out they were sold already bent to factory specs to fit – DUH !

  • avatar

    I took a hammer to Bugey Sprite to enlarge the wheel opening so I could run wider tires. In my defense this was in 1973 and I only paid $400 for the car. I always thought about the cussing some restorer must of done.

  • avatar

    mine would be machining a lift kit setup for a dodge magnum for a then neighbor up north near the cabin. Kept bottoming out on snow drifts on the way to his place. 8 inches of additional lift did wonders for bashing through snow. But man did that thing squat and dive any time you got neat the throttle or brakes. And it was an adventure trying to get into that thing.

  • avatar

    Most of the dumb ones were with my XJ Cherokee. 3″ lift wasn’t enough so on went advanced auto parts lift shakles. Exhaust fell off in the woods strapped it to the roof ran it with open headers for a couple days (it ran rich so you got a nice shot of flame on downshifts. Then rebolted on the y pipe (2.8 v6) shoved a cherry bomb muffler into the y with a clamp, TEK screwed a couple hanger right into the floor and ran it straight back to a dump over the rear axle. Ran like that for years. Best trail fix was using a tek screw to attach a shock the mount ripped off into the body, but that only lasted halfway home when I gave up and ziptied the shock to the axle.

    Best and worst at the same time goes to putting a power ram 50 bed on my yota, it sorta matched.

  • avatar

    1992 Volvo 240, the rear most muffler rusts itself free while I’m driving. I pull over, coat hanger (well xacto strap hang it), and take it to a shop.

    I decided to have them try installing their “performance exhaust” rather than the bit of pipe that rotted out. This “performance exhaust” had many bends and sat low enough in the back to double as a mini snow plow. Like a dummy, I wait until after warranty to have them fix it by just straight piping that spot (as redblock Volvos have a second muffler in the middle of the car).

    On the same car, I bought it with an aftermarket CD player that decided to call it quits, I get some factory junkyard Volvo radios and begin the process of uninstalling it.

    The wire harness plug ends up being a pain to get out, its jammed so tight against the factory plug (and because Volvo used short wiring you have to reach into a deep tiny pit). I end up cutting the aftermarket wires, then when the plug still wont budge, the factory wires.

    But that wasnt the dumbest thing, oh no, the dumbest thing was paying $100 for a new dipstick for my Volvo 850. Actually, that car was the dumbest care thing I ever did.

  • avatar

    When I was around 10 I tried to paint some rust on the tailgate of the ’57 Chevy wagon, which was probably about six years old at the time. I don’t remember whether I just painted directly over the rust, or whether I sanded the rust at all. And I used a paint brush instead of spray paint. So there were a few marks where drops of paint had rolled down the tailgate.

    My parents sold the car when I was 12, in ’65, just before we went abroad for the year. After we came back, I saw the car on the street. It was easy to identify with certainty because of my paint job.

    • 0 avatar

      I almost bought a late 40s IH 1-1/4ton truck that at some point was completely painted with (obviously) a brush. If it wasn’t for someone doing that at some point the truck would probably have been in much worse shape, as was the entire truck seemed to have good metal for a never restored truck.

  • avatar

    dumbest thing i ever did? sold em.

    my ’66 e-type jaguar 4.2 ltr coupé [sold in 1970]; my ’70 2.2 ltr porsche 911t coupé [sold in 1983]; and my ’64 porsche 356c cabriolet [sold in 1989].

  • avatar

    Question: which car?

    Dumbest current thing I’ve done with a car is to have financed the Dart 5 years. Signed the paperwork a week or two before ole Serge opened his mouth to speak those infamous words about 200 and Dart.

    Past dumb things: let an unqualified mechanic work on the neon. His shop dog lived in my car and made chew toys of parts of the interior while the mechanic ruined the paint finish with his belt/zipper all the way around– while he was ruining the mechanicals by not knowing anything about them.

    Even the replacement parts (clutch and timing sets) were stolen and had to be bought twice.

    Replaced a perfectly nice PT Cruiser once because I just couldn’t take the flack anymore. People thought less of me because I owned a PT- still tell me I’m wrong when I defend the car.

    Least stupid thing? Probably the time I bought an old Mercedes to drive my Grandmother in– it was nothing new or fancy, but it was wish fulfillment for the both of us, and she loved every ride in that junky little 240D. Every thought of that woman, that car and those rides brings me joy. Worth every break-down.

  • avatar

    Self-Maintained a non ///M 3 series to 300k+ Miles.

  • avatar

    I put a Stillen exhaust on my 2004 G35x. Dumb dumb dumb and a waste of $1200.

  • avatar

    I haven’t ever done anything extreme, nor have I ever ‘modded’ anything.

    I did, however, made myself feel sort of like an idiot last spring. I forgot my ratchet, extension bar and socket under my hood when I changed my spark plugs last fall.

    I left to go to the store for something. Right before I left my driveway, I heard a muffled noise under the hood and then a tinkling sound.

    I was relieved that the sound was my tools falling off of the engine compartment.

    I suppose the other not-so-smart thing I’ve done would be cleaning my leather seats and dashboard with a bucket of hot water and Persil. My box with all of my car cleaning supplies was nowhere to be found and my order of interior/leather cleaner didn’t arrive from Amazon yet (and I didn’t want to drive into town just for that).

    What can I say, I have OCD, I have to keep things clean. Nothing happened, but there’s a reason why there are specially formulated cleaners for those things.

    It smelled great though!

    • 0 avatar

      Funny, a few years back I was working on my blazer, I forget what i was doing but regardless I had stuck the 1/2 drive socket set pre-formed Craftsman drawer on the roof of the blazer in the roof rack area.

      Anyways not too much later I am driving and suddenly hear a noise, well wtf? Sounds like a clunk, – so obviously I must try to repeat this noise to get a better idea of where it’s coming from. I floor it, start throwing the truck side to side trying anything to reproduce the noise. Couldn’t figure out what the hell it was.

      Fast forward 20 minutes I’m walking out of my house and see my 1/2 drawer on the roof. Light bulb. Somehow I only lost 3 or 4 sockets, I went back to where I had originally heard the noise and drove the same loop several times but I couldn’t find any of the missing sockets. Never did replace them.

  • avatar
    Tele Vision

    One sunny afternoon we took the roof off of my friend’s new Jeep YJ. Then we took the doors off. Then folded the windshield down, after removing the wiper motor. We went for a drive to the beer store and found we hated the dust and bugs in the hair and teeth. We vowed to put it right upon our booze-laden return. Not so easy. The body had relaxed so much that ratchet-straps and several friends and plenty of elbow grease were required to get that thing back together.

  • avatar

    Loaded the back seat of my dad’s Chevy Nova sedan early one morning with newspapers to be delivered and all the windows down, and didn’t think of the consequence when my friend who will remain unnamed lit up a cigarette. Of course the consequence was that air currents even at 35 mph would carry lit cigarette ash from the front seat to the back, setting three-quarters of the papers afire and charring the vinyl backseat much to my father’s anger who then had to drive the Nova to work, both the back seat and my ass still smoldering.

  • avatar

    The original exhaust system in my RX-8 rusted out. The dealer wanted an exorbitant sum to replace it, so I found the cheapest aftermarket I could…a cheap knockoff of an HKS Hi-Power system…single outlet and a glorified straight pipe. The car was deafening. The backfires on upshifts and pops and burbles off-throttle were wicked, but the blaring rasp at WOT attracted the attention of the dead. On the highway, the drone was reminiscent of a woman screaming in your ear. I eventually traded it in on a Mustang. The salesman wheeled it around the property after we’d spent a few hours haggling. Luckily for me (and sad for the auction house that it would have been dumped on), it was relatively quiet when cold.

  • avatar

    ’62 Type VW: Rear air shocks, front & rear sway bars, and..water “injection” using a vacuum port on the carb, some aquarium tubing and a gallon plastic milk jug.

    Man that bus would corner flat. But after 6000 miles I swear there was more water in that damn jug than when I started. Then there were the kitty litter side air scoops. I eventually roasted the 1600 cc on a long hot trip LA-Seattle.

  • avatar

    WITH a car or TO a car? If WITH a car…
    …took part in a two day rallysprint with a junkyard Renault Super 5 bought just a week prior. Complete with 10 year old tires, no brake balancing valve (removed by one of previous owners) and ‘floating’ rear suspension pick up points. The car had only 60hp (when new) and I did not know about the last problem until after I became suspicious of little piles of rust that appeared under the car after being parked for a while, but still…
    Oh, did I mention that the event was 500km away from home and all I had with me was a useless/lazy co-driver, a little tool box, two spare wheels and lots of young dumb male overconfidence mixed with a large dose of cluelessness?
    At least I got back home in one piece, unlike one of my friends:

  • avatar

    Spun it into a ditch … no, slid on ice into a tree and fence … no, flipped it … no, hmmm dumbEST? evaded a multi car pursuit? went so fast the rear wheels came up off the ground (FWD)? a burnout past a patrol car because I was tired of him eyeballing me in that slow cruiser?
    flipped off a cop beside me when the light changed and wheelied away on my way out of town? my buddies wife? a girlfriend on a different buddies dads velour rear seat? a maried ex girlfriend? drove miles down a highway by braille while neither I nor my girlfriend was looking out the windows after a halloween party? Nope. had to be the aftermarket speakers. That was the dumb thing.

  • avatar

    Sliding into a guard rail thanks to black ice was pretty dumb…but I’ve never had the money or the garage to customize a car the way I’d want to.

  • avatar

    Didn’t need to lookup the Hyundai Stellar, fond memories. They were marketed in the UK as the de-facto replacement for the Ford Cortina – Ford’s mid-size sedan which was also built under licence in Korea, when many didn’t take to the aero-shaped Sierra (briefly sold in the US as the Merkur XR4Ti).

    My dad had one, and unfortunately it didn’t stand up as a workhorse, though to be fair it was hauling equipment that these days would be tasked to an SUV or heavy duty pickup.

    Mistakes I’ve made – changing the plugs on a Ford Orion (Escort sedan), they were seized, gave them a good twist and the ceramic shattered.
    Re-tapped the threads on the head and replaced, and figured the ceramic would work it’s way through the system. Which it did. Through the oil seals.

  • avatar

    Just about every modification I made to my first car that was my own.

    Used parts of questionable quality. Too-low springs. Cut fenders because they were rubbing from said springs. Removed the muffler entirely for DTM exhaust tips. Pep boys intake that didn’t take into account some of the air-metering hardware. questionable lighting mods (later replaced by good lighting mods).

    All of this on a B5 A4, which was doing enough damage to my wallet just by being a B5 A4 with moderate mileage. And it was a 1996, so it had the old iron block SOHC V6, so it wasn’t fast. Nor did it have any potential the way the 1.8T did. or any real aftermarket, which is why so many of the mods were half-assed.

    The worst part is that with all of the money I spent doing it, I could have at least bought new parts, and the right parts, to ensure the majority of the problems from half-assing the mods to begin with never occurred.

  • avatar

    Putting a Hurst line lock into the brake system of an ’81 Z28. All that summer and fall it was great fun, spinning the rear tires while the brakes held the front wheels. Hurst apparently did not test their system in harsh conditions such as a -40 winter night in Calgary, however. Driving home late one night, pressed on the brake pedal, and *crack* went the casing on the stupid thing, shooting brake fluid all over and causing me to slide through a red light on an icy road. Good thing I was the only car around. Limped home using engine braking and the rears…took it all out over the weekend.

    • 0 avatar

      RE: brake line locks ~
      “Mico” has been making these for decades for use on delivery trucks and they work great, never fail and are cheap to boot .
      Myself I’d never use one for your purpose but if you want to, there’s a safe way to do so .
      Often found cheap or free on wrecked/scrapped 2 + ton bob tails and ex Govt. rigs .

  • avatar

    When I was young and dumb I poured insane amounts of money into my ’89 Ford Probe (bought new). Keyless entry and alarm (they did do a damn nice install), all Alpine 2-1/2 DIN chassis in dash custom install, 20 speakers, 5 amps, ear melting stereo system, 15″ Fitapaldi rims, engine modifications, body kit, custom paint, window tint, car phone (old school analog hard mounted phone – I was on the road sales).

    In one way it made sense, I was driving 40K to 50K miles a year and rarely left the state of Massachusetts – so I was living in the car. On the other hand, 4-1/2 years later, and 186K miles on the odometer, it was completely spent. The stereo equipment was on the way to being obsolete, that custom paint work was chipped up, the clear coat was peeling on the Fitapaldi rims, and the car had been stolen – twice – once with a ridiculous amount of damage where I was hoping for a total.

    From the new car purchase prices, and the thousands upon thousands spent in modifications, I was able to get — $3,800 for the car. Ouch.

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