Freaky Friday: Russians Just Know How to Have a Good Time, Period

Steph Willems
by Steph Willems

Maybe it’s the cold, the dodgy economy, or lingering memories of decades spent lining up for milk. Whatever the motivation, Russians don’t seem to need the latest and greatest high-tech gadget to help them pass the time. Nope, just grab a few friends, spend a few rubles amassing a collection of ancient hatchbacks, and hit the ice.

The winter of 2017 has brought an inventive new sport to the frozen wastes of the Motherland, and locals can thank a plethora of worthless, Soviet-era crapwagons for the entertainment. Apparently, there are automobiles worth less than stones.

In the snowy city of Yekaterinburg, the hardly inhabitants of Sverdlovsk Oblast can thank the lowly VAZ-1111 Oka for their new pastime of auto curling. Yes, it’s the same game of precision, boredom and confusing scoring that takes place in buildings you hope to never enter, only with larger rocks. In this case, two-cylinder ones.

Designed in the late 1970s, the Oka eventually made it to production in 1988 and lingered until 2008. Looking like an even cheaper version of the Ford Festiva, the bargain-basement Oka was renowned for its cheapnesss, inexpensiveness, affordability, low ownership costs, and off-road ability. Its 650 cc twin was actually a Lada Samara engine cut in half.

Perhaps the city of Yekaterinburg was still annoyed by all the press a certain city to the south got a few years back with its explode-y asteroid. Certainly, it figured it was about damn time for an event worthy of national publicity. (A 1979 military anthrax outbreak notwithstanding.) So, on a large public skating rink, it cobbled together two teams of Oka drivers. Just like in a regular game of curling, the teams attempted to slide their “stone” closest to the bulls-eye painted on the ice.

In order to lighten the vehicles, and for safety, window glass and engines were jettisoned pre-tournament. Thus, the cars got underway in the same manner as a curling stone, minus the seemingly pointless sweeping and incessant cries of “hurry haaaard!” What does that even mean?

“Loud bangs could be heard all around, as the fragile Okas, cars that were considered somewhat a joke even by Soviet consumers brought up on Ladas, clattered into each other,” reported RT.

The winning team walked away with approximately $1,600, which could buy dozens, if not hundreds, of VAZ-1111 Okas.

[Image capture: TACC/ YouTube]

Steph Willems
Steph Willems

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  • Gtem Gtem on Mar 24, 2017

    "The winning team walked away with approximately $1,600, which could buy dozens, if not hundreds, of VAZ-1111 Okas." $1600 is about 90k rubles give or take. A really rusty non-runner Oka could probably be found for 5k rubles, 10k for a really rough runner. Also worth looking at in the crazy world of Russian motorsports is ZiL farm truck racing: https://youtu.be/hEX9rlHQTFE

  • Art Vandelay Art Vandelay on Mar 27, 2017

    In Russia...car crashes YOU!!!

  • Probert They already have hybrids, but these won't ever be them as they are built on the modular E-GMP skateboard.
  • Justin You guys still looking for that sportbak? I just saw one on the Facebook marketplace in Arizona
  • 28-Cars-Later I cannot remember what happens now, but there are whiteblocks in this period which develop a "tick" like sound which indicates they are toast (maybe head gasket?). Ten or so years ago I looked at an '03 or '04 S60 (I forget why) and I brought my Volvo indy along to tell me if it was worth my time - it ticked and that's when I learned this. This XC90 is probably worth about $300 as it sits, not kidding, and it will cost you conservatively $2500 for an engine swap (all the ones I see on car-part.com have north of 130K miles starting at $1,100 and that's not including freight to a shop, shop labor, other internals to do such as timing belt while engine out etc).
  • 28-Cars-Later Ford reported it lost $132,000 for each of its 10,000 electric vehicles sold in the first quarter of 2024, according to CNN. The sales were down 20 percent from the first quarter of 2023 and would “drag down earnings for the company overall.”The losses include “hundreds of millions being spent on research and development of the next generation of EVs for Ford. Those investments are years away from paying off.” [if they ever are recouped] Ford is the only major carmaker breaking out EV numbers by themselves. But other marques likely suffer similar losses. https://www.zerohedge.com/political/fords-120000-loss-vehicle-shows-california-ev-goals-are-impossible Given these facts, how did Tesla ever produce anything in volume let alone profit?
  • AZFelix Let's forego all of this dilly-dallying with autonomous cars and cut right to the chase and the only real solution.
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