Junkyard Find: 1996 Chevrolet Caprice Classic, Rabid 49ers Fan Edition

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin
junkyard find 1996 chevrolet caprice classic rabid 49ers fan edition

Like art cars, vehicles that have been turned into team-color-painted, sticker-bedecked sports-team fanmobiles tend to spend their lives just one minor mechanical problem away from that final tow-truck ride. This “whale” Caprice was, we can assume, the life of the tailgate party at freezing-ass Candlestick Park and maybe that new stadium that’s nowhere near San Francisco.

The 1991-96 Caprice is still sufficiently sought-after these days to be a somewhat uncommon sight at self-serve wrecking yards; for every one of these that you see in such a yard, there will be at least 100 Panther Crown Victorias.

It would be galling for this car’s final owner to know that his or her pride and joy ended its life in the East Bay, just a few miles from the home of the Oakland Raiders.

The interior was already gold (well, tan) colored, so the application of some red spray paint gives it a proper 49ers-fan appearance. I wonder how many gallons of beer and barbecue condiments were spilled in here.

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  • -Nate -Nate on Sep 15, 2015

    Proving once again that every negative stereotype about sports fans is in fact , correct . -Nate

  • Sgeffe Sgeffe on Sep 15, 2015

    Regarding the question about BBQ sauce, or condiments... ...or other fluids? (::Shudder!::) Murilee, have you done any GM G-Body write-ups? Cutlass Supreme of some sort just to port of this beast!

  • Dukeisduke Avoid the Ford Windstar at all costs, especially if has the Essex 3.8l V6. Besides the Essex V6, these things had terrible rust problems with the front subframe (if you live someplace where things rust), the automatic transmissions had big problems, and the rear twist beam axle had a tendency to fracture, literally killing some drivers.
  • TMA1 I did an audit of a major Korean chaebol a decade ago, and this is the car they sent every day to pick me up. That back seat was the place to be. Especially on the passenger side with the reclining chair and footrest. I always wanted to get one for myself, but couldn't afford the driver needed to fully enjoy it.
  • Dukeisduke Add audible commands, like, "Stop tailgating, you moron!", and, "Slow down - you're gonna kill us all!" I was going to suggest using the voices of Tom and Ray Magliozzi, but sadly, only Ray is still with us (RIP, Tom).
  • Art Vandelay And it will alert Tassos and EBFlex so they can stop puffing each other’s peters if another vehicle is in the vicinity and may see their dirty deeds
  • Art Vandelay It was junked due to all of the Peter puffing Tassos and EBFlex did in it. Nobody wants to ride in that. Clearly it is a Hyundai so they never go to the junkyard otherwise