By on March 5, 2013

The volks who worry about Volkswagen being incapable of directing its big band of brands should make a trip to Geneva. Today, the boys from Wolfsburg launch a barrage at all target groups.

Aimed at the “blogger who drives mother’s old Celica and googles for super car pics” segment, Lamborghini delivers more bull:

Lamborghini’s 750 hp Veneno fits that segment like a USB gaming glove, and it is priced right: At an MSRP of $4.65 million, the production run of three (yes, three) is probably just right. Five would be channel stuffing.


The design – clearly inspired by the package design of overclocked Taiwanese motherboards, with a riff on late night vegetable cutter infomercials – is perfect. The crowd loves it. The engine, well, the engine still needs some work. Despite finely honed product planning, the target audience is complaining. Not about the price of the car. About its lack of power: Just 750 hp? The covers were barely pulled off the latest bull by buxom product specialists, and the target audience is already moaning into its keyboards:

“My reaction wasn’t ‘750hp, Holy crap!’, but rather ‘Really? That’s it?’”

+1 , +1, +1

“Its like seriously WTF.”


There will be some who complain that the three 750hp Lamborghinis will seriously enlarge the WTF ozone hole. For those, Volkswagen offers, on the other side of the spectrum, its 261 mpg XL-1 super green machine.

Prices are still a secret, the rumor machine cites six figure numbers. Like Lamborghini’s bull, the XL-1 is made from sheets of hand-laid unobtanium and provides similar cramped interior space. Volkswagen brought what looks like this year’s full production run to Geneva.

For the silent majority,.Volkswagen shows at least 6 Golfs, from a natural gas powered Golf TGI Bluemotion all the way to a hot station wagon, the Golf Estate R-Line.

The bull gets the Tweets, the Golf gets the volume.

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18 Comments on “From XL-1 to Veneno, Volkswagen Shows Cars For Everyman...”

  • avatar

    The Lambo looks like a not-well-curated grab bag of old Gandini styling cues mashed up with bits of George Barris’s Batmobile. Done right that might have been cool, but it wasn’t done right. I think it’s awful and I wonder what exactly they were thinking, but as you say, I am not the target market.

    • 0 avatar

      Front lights are “pure” Audi R18.
      I think it’s horrible in an entertaining way so I sort of like it, like I did the Vector in all it’s dual automatic transmission glory. I would hate this thing if it went into mass production, but as a three car freak show, why not….

      Now were did mom hide the keys to the corolla?

      • 0 avatar


        The Lambo is precisely what a Lambo should be: ostentatious, loud, obnoxious and completely eye catching. It’s not my cup of tea, but that car will definitely make a statement whenever it pulls into the valet line…

        • 0 avatar

          Obnoxious Lamborghinis is an invention of the 80s, lamborginis have always had simple and beautiful lines. Unfortunately the genius creations of Gandini has been molested by many, including Chrysler that thought that they were competent enough to lay their greasy fingers on his designs after the sports styling success that was the Dodge Daytona. Hell FIAT buying Chrysler and the styling of the new Jeep might be an Italian payback for just that.

    • 0 avatar

      It looks like someone designed the Lambo while high on acid after watching a Transformers movie marathon.

    • 0 avatar
      juicy sushi

      I’m sure the three people who wanted one will be happy. I’ll never be in the market for one, but a Miura with modern mechanicals would be rather nicer than the current line-up.

  • avatar

    “The design – clearly inspired by the package design of overclocked Taiwanese motherboards, with a riff on late night vegetable cutter infomercials – is perfect. The crowd loves it.”

    Somehow the C7 Corvette doesn’t seem so radical anymore.

    “the production run of three (yes, three) is probably just right. Five would be channel stuffing.”

    I always thought the Battle of Britain was the world’s greatest example of “channel stuffing” until I started reading TTAC.

    P.S. That XL-1 looks like a Roomba. How well does it do on hardwood floors ?. Would shag carpet decrease it’s mileage figures ?.

  • avatar

    the Lambo looks like a Bayformer stuck in mid transformation prior to becoming a pile of metal bits that kind of looks like a robot of you squint. Now that I read back what I wrote, I’m sure Michael Bay will buy all three just to blow them up with shit tons of high energy explosive in his next movie. eh, I’m sure some billionaire will buy them.

    I would LOVE a golf estate R. Too bad I have a fatwah against the VW brand and have sworn to pee on the tires of all VW’s I see.

    • 0 avatar

      I’ve written an outline for a script. It starts out with some miss understood hero that has to work with/for the US armed forces. Then loud sounds and CGI. Then some unusually attractive soldiers or sailors salute somebody or something while the camera catches some glare. Then the soldier/sailors walks over a hangar floor that is wet, then t something, something, something, cool. Then loud noises, CGI, all the military hardware required to invade Mexico while looking cool(provided at the taxpayers expense) and some chick. Then A car chase – the hero driving a Chevy Cruz – while a bunch of Blackhawks flies overhead shooting at things that explodes (like water, dust, trashcans, thin air, talented screenwriters) the hero outruns the Lambos driven by americas enemies (you know, the Soviet, Drug runners, Robots, Terrorists or whom ever ells that the guy at the pentagon that greenlights the Jets, helicopters and personnel feels should be the enemy) then the Lambos explode while jumping over a great big CGI shark. Our hero, his lady, the delta force and the chevy cruze is reunited again against a backdrop of a setting sun.

    • 0 avatar

      You must have a large bladder…

  • avatar
    Mr Imperial

    I know I’m outside of the google-sourced-car-wallpaper-still-living-in-mom-and-dads-house-crowd, but YEESH, this is has got to be one of the fugliest four-wheel transportations I’ve seen.

    But then again, isn’t that how the public felt about the 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona and 1970 Plymouth Superbird? (Yes, production numbers were greater for those two in comparison to the Lambo, but are still specialty vehicles rather than mass-production).

    Nowadays the owners of the Daytonas/Superbirds are laughing all the way to the bank, will the three Lambo owners be doing the same in twenty years?

  • avatar

    I dig the Lambo with the exception of the aircraft inspired horizontal stabilizer rear wing treatment which I think ruins the look of the car from the side. I also dig the XL-1 while not a pure electric it just seems like GM’s EV-1 done right from a styling standpoint.

    Its to bad the XL-1 is going to be super limited and super expensive, seems perfect for making hyper speed passes down a dry lake bed with some sort of alternative fuel boosted to the moon turbocharged inline four.

  • avatar

    How much extra for a Batcave to park it in?

  • avatar
    Kyree S. Williams

    As all of us already know, it’s often not the horsepower figure, but how that horsepower is utilized that matters. Still in a vehicle that is more of a showcase than a profitable venture (I bet you Lamborghini loses money on all three of them), it is kind of beneficial to have some outlandish horsepower number, even if it causes the owners to crash into barriers and split them in two within three minutes of ownership. At least they’ll have crashed with “1001 HP roaring under the bonnet!”

  • avatar

    I much prefer the stark, Mad Max-ish lines of the Sesto Elemento to this overdone batmobile. Not saying it isn’t… well… striking… but it’s striking in a very juvenile way.

    The XL1, on the other hand, if it came with two hundred horses more and some real tires…

  • avatar

    There’s a rumor going around that the design of the Veneno was pilfered from the Hot Wheels discard bin.

  • avatar

    Veneno? Sounds like a Buick…

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