From XL-1 to Veneno, Volkswagen Shows Cars For Everyman
The volks who worry about Volkswagen being incapable of directing its big band of brands should make a trip to Geneva. Today, the boys from Wolfsburg launch a barrage at all target groups.
Aimed at the “blogger who drives mother’s old Celica and googles for super car pics” segment, Lamborghini delivers more bull:
Lamborghini’s 750 hp Veneno fits that segment like a USB gaming glove, and it is priced right: At an MSRP of $4.65 million, the production run of three (yes, three) is probably just right. Five would be channel stuffing.
The design – clearly inspired by the package design of overclocked Taiwanese motherboards, with a riff on late night vegetable cutter infomercials – is perfect. The crowd loves it. The engine, well, the engine still needs some work. Despite finely honed product planning, the target audience is complaining. Not about the price of the car. About its lack of power: Just 750 hp? The covers were barely pulled off the latest bull by buxom product specialists, and the target audience is already moaning into its keyboards:
“My reaction wasn’t ‘750hp, Holy crap!’, but rather ‘Really? That’s it?’”
+1 , +1, +1
“Its like seriously WTF.”
There will be some who complain that the three 750hp Lamborghinis will seriously enlarge the WTF ozone hole. For those, Volkswagen offers, on the other side of the spectrum, its 261 mpg XL-1 super green machine.
Prices are still a secret, the rumor machine cites six figure numbers. Like Lamborghini’s bull, the XL-1 is made from sheets of hand-laid unobtanium and provides similar cramped interior space. Volkswagen brought what looks like this year’s full production run to Geneva.
For the silent majority,.Volkswagen shows at least 6 Golfs, from a natural gas powered Golf TGI Bluemotion all the way to a hot station wagon, the Golf Estate R-Line.
The bull gets the Tweets, the Golf gets the volume.
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- ToolGuy a) Coolb) My rocker panels are looking hopelessly outdated
- Art Vandelay Tassos and EBFlex can watch videos of peter puffing while puffing each other's peters in this bad boy!
- Art Vandelay When it is in electric mode it is so quiet that you can almost hear EBFlex and Tassos puffing each other's peters.
- Art Vandelay They have to price them this high to keep EBFlex or Tassos from getting one and sullying the company's good name by puffing each other's peters in it
- Art Vandelay EBFlex and Tassos can stream videos on YouTube now of them puffing each other's peters. They'll have to use a Mercedes for TikTok though
There's a rumor going around that the design of the Veneno was pilfered from the Hot Wheels discard bin.
Veneno? Sounds like a Buick...