Hammer Time: Ramblings Of An Aspiring Kibbutznik

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

I must have been a kibbutznik in a past life. Whenever I buy something of value, I never have the urge to keep it for myself.

Perhaps it’s due to too many bouts of suburbia. A neighborhood with twenty lawnmowers. Thirty The Lion King videos, and fifty to seventy vehicles. All this redundancy seems to be a bit much for a guy who hates to see things unused by my family 98+% of the time.

Yeah. I know that most folks aren’t willing to share their ride. Some won’t even loan you Simba. But if I lived in a place where we all put a smaller chunk of our change into a ride, I wouldn’t go cheap . . . except for possibly an old Volvo wagon.

These would be my top picks. All used of course!


1st Gen Honda Insight
: These things are amazingly overengineered. The ride is surprisingly nice, mpg’s are 55+, the rear hatch can house an amazing amount of materials, and let’s face it, many rides require little more than two people these days. Did I mention these things only require two and a half quarts per oil change? Gotta love that.


Ford S-Ma
x(Euro-Spec Version): There’s something about a small diesel with superb handling, seven seats, and a shape designed for the wind that’s hard to turn down. I’ve heard so many good things about the Ford 2.2L that I would have to at least test this one. For the greater good of my fellow kibbutzniks of course. I’ll just have to make sure Baruth never gets the keys.


Toyota Land Cruiser
: I’m not thinking of the nice cushy ones that make Lexus seem unnecessary. I’m thinking about the ones that help fight wars. Heck. While we’re at it let’s throw in a couple of Toyota Hilux diesels into the mix as well. I relish the idea of buying utilitarian vehicles and not worrying about replacing them for a quarter century. Plus, if my neighbors ever have the misfortune of getting attacked by a few stone throwers, I want something that can hold a gun turret. Perhaps we can sell it as a Farago edition.


1st Gen Mazda Miata:
Every kibbutz deserves a fleet of convertibles that can be thrashed about during odd hours and Sunday afternoons. Chryslers are definitely not my cup of tea for that purpose. Fords? I like the Mustang. Since Sajeev is still in love with a long list of old Fords I guess we should spring for just one of those. But no more! As for the Miata, I’ll take three. Preferably a 95′ to 96′ model with a stick and a long list of Murilee modifications.Hmmm… I truly wonder what can be jammed in that four square feet of trunk space? Maybe a nuclear powered roto-plooker?


1970’s Malaise Era Whachamacallit:
The type that can hold enough beer in the trunk for 30 odd friends and their associates. The type that sounds like a Harley once you saw off the catalytic converter. The type with a crappy cheap top that’s easy to replace, and a hood big and flat enough to serve as a bed for two at a moment’s notice. Throw in some thick leather interior adornments and a quartz clock (for Murilee’s sake), and you would have one hell of a vehicle for beer runs and random hooning.

Then we should consider all manner of bicycles, motorcycles, scooters, airplanes, golf carts, buses and catapults. A nice pair of running shoes. A lake. A river. A rowboat. A canoe. A kayak. A catamaran. A schooner. A tugboat. A yacht. A battleship!

Perhaps it’s time to start my own country. What about you? What transportation aplenty strikes your fancy in that, “Nice to have around… but I don’t want to own one.” kinda way?
Steven Lang
Steven Lang

More by Steven Lang

Comments
Join the conversation
3 of 22 comments
  • Lemmy-powered Lemmy-powered on Jan 31, 2013

    A shared horse has a dirty back. But to play along, I'll say a plain wrapper Grand Caravan with tow package and utility trailer.

    • Luke42 Luke42 on Jan 31, 2013

      The dirty back is kinda the point of the question. Which car is durable enough and easy enough to fix to be able to lend without concern, and yet awesome enough that someone who loves driving can lend their enthusiasm along with the car? I agree with your recommendation, though. A basic minivan with a tow package is cheaper and much more versatile than a 4-door F-150, just so long you drive mostly on public roads.

  • 945T 945T on Apr 10, 2013

    I've firmly entrenched myself in the 'old volvo' camp with a 940 turbo wagon for myself and a stick '87 240 sedan for the girlfriend - her first car & the one she bought without having ever driven stick before. But one summer I decided I wanted a 4x4 - So I began cold emailing people with cars up to $2,000 though my budget was $1200. Bam. Truck from out of the area couldn't pass smog, so the guy drops the price on his $2,000 1994 K1500 Suburban to $1k firm because he cannot park it in Kitsilano on the street - too big! And while it was wicked fun to hoon that beast, and while I had a ticket literally thrown in my face because it outraged the cop ticketing it with its awesomeness, it couldn't carry any more people or any more cargo than my mom's 2001 GMC Safari could, all while being easier to park, and twice as easy on fuel. By the way, for anyone considering these trucks - the '94 K1500 with the 350SBC is a one year only exhaust design. Mine was a mangle of weird terrible welds and as soon as a real exhaust piece was put in place the power came on.

  • The Oracle Going to see a lot of corporations migrating out of Delaware as the state of incorporation. Musk sets trends, he doesn’t follow them.
  • Foo Eh. Net present value is in the red, once you add in rapidly rising insurance, late by months basic repairs-and-no availability, battery replacement, future hazmat recycling fees, and even faster depreciation. Wait until litigants win for "too heavy" in accidents... The math is brutal but if you value virtue signalling, some will pay anything.
  • Lynchenstein @EBFlex - All ICEs are zero-emission until you start them up. Except my mom's old 95 Accord, that used to emit oil onto the ground quite a lot.
  • Charles The UAW makes me the opposite of patriotic
  • El scotto Wranglers are like good work boots, you can't make them any better. Rugged four wheel drive vehicles which ironically make great urban vehicles. Wagoneers were like handbags desired by affluent women. They've gone out of vogue. I can a Belgian company selling Jeep and Ram Trucks to a Chinese company.
Next