Just Kidding! Suzuki Decides To Play Late April Fools Joke On North American Employees

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

All 12 North American employees have been officially notified that their jobs are saved.

“Look, I get bored! Did you ever have that urge to just fire someone just because it’s a Monday.” said Suzuki founder Maruti Suzuki.

“I remembered when Consumer Reports did that nasty little hack job on our Samurai and, well, it’s been nearly 25 years since the last hit. 25 years! We were becoming the Wavy Gravy of car brands and I just had to do something to wake these people up.”

Karen Carpenter, president of Suzuki International PR Operations also informed TTAC of a new requirement for Suzuki Auto employees, “Speaking of which, every Suzuki Auto employee who wants to be rehired will now have to streak to the flag pole at our headquarters wearing nothing more than a skinny tire in honor of the 25th anniversary release of the last new US Spec Suzuki Samurai.”

Ms. Carpenter continued, “The song “Top Of the World” will be resounding throughout the loudpseakers in Japanese as Mr. Suzuki proudly celebrates the re-opening of their North American headquarters with the reintroduction of three historic Suzuki model names for our North American line-up.”

“The SX4 will now be the Swift. A new small 4×4 will be coming from Japan that will be deemed the Samurai, and yes, we will offer a CU Suck It! Edition which will feature no sway bars, struts from our surplus Forenza inventory, and 23″ tires.”

“Finally we will be renaming the Grand Vitara the Sidekick, with Chuck Norris inflicting his own patented sidekick to random celebrities whenever the opportunity arises. Paris Hilton, Donald Trump, the Duggars, you have all been warned!”

Note: The author was given a free tank of gas, insurance, a Carpenters greatest hits album, and a 15 year old Suzuki Esteem Wagon in exchange for this press release. Actually, I bought the Esteem at a public auction for $600 with a free tank of gas, an expired insurance card in the glovebox, and a very worn Carpenters cassette that was temporarily stuck in the tape deck. The noxious fumes and cat hair I experienced right afterwards were the inspiration for this article.


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  • Scrappy17 Scrappy17 on Nov 15, 2012

    Suzuki founder in NOT Maruti Suzuki as mentioned in the article. Maruti Suzuki is the name of the JV suzuki has in India with the Maruti car company since the early eighties.

  • Daveainchina Daveainchina on Nov 17, 2012

    See here I thought this was just a joke to post that video. I figure it was a blatant advertising plug. I'm certainly not offended, just can't figure why I watched that video, I kept looking for the joke myself.

  • Nrd515 I bought an '88 S10 Blazer with the 4.3. We had it 4 years and put just about 48K on it with a bunch of trips to Nebraska and S. Dakota to see relatives. It had a couple of minor issues when new, a piece of trim fell off the first day, and it had a seriously big oil leak soon after we got it. The amazinly tiny starter failed at about 40K, it was fixed under some sort of secret warranty and we got a new Silverado as a loaner. Other than that, and a couple of tires that blew when I ran over some junk on the road, it was a rock. I hated the dash instrumentation, and being built like a gorilla, it was about an inch and a half too narrow for my giant shoulders, but it drove fine, and was my second most trouble free vehicle ever, only beaten by my '82 K5 Blazer, which had zero issues for nearly 50K miles. We sold the S10 to a friend, who had it over 20 years and over 400,000 miles on the original short block! It had a couple of transmissions, a couple of valve jobs, a rear end rebuild at 300K, was stolen and vandalized twice, cut open like a tin can when a diabetic truck driver passed out(We were all impressed at the lack of rust inside the rear quarters at almost 10 years old, and it just went on and on. Ziebart did a good job on that Blazer. All three of his sons learned to drive in it, and it was only sent to the boneyard when the area above the windshield had rusted to the point it was like taking a shower when it rained. He now has a Jeep that he's put a ton of money into. He says he misses the S10's reliablity a lot these days, the Jeep is in the shop a lot.
  • Jeff S Most densely populated areas have emission testing and removing catalytic converters and altering pollution devices will cause your vehicle to fail emission testing which could effect renewing license plates. In less populated areas where emission testing is not done there would probably not be any legal consequences and the converter could either be removed or gutted both without having to buy specific parts for bypassing emissions. Tampering with emission systems would make it harder to resell a vehicle but if you plan on keeping the vehicle and literally running it till the wheels fall off there is not much that can be done if there is no emission testing. I did have a cat removed on a car long before mandatory emission testing and it did get better mpgs and it ran better. Also had a cat gutted on my S-10 which was close to 20 years old which increased performance and efficiency but that was in a state that did not require emission testing just that reformulated gas be sold during the Summer months. I would probably not do it again because after market converters are not that expensive on older S-10s compared to many of the newer vehicles. On newer vehicles it can effect other systems that are related to the operating and the running of the vehicle. A little harder to defeat pollution devices on newer vehicles with all the systems run by microprocessors but if someone wants to do it they can. This law could be addressing the modified diesels that are made into coal rollers just as much as the gasoline powered vehicles with cats. You probably will still be able to buy equipment that would modify the performance of a vehicles as long as the emission equipment is not altered.
  • ToolGuy I wonder if Vin Diesel requires DEF.(Does he have issues with Sulfur in concentrations above 15ppm?)
  • ToolGuy Presented for discussion: https://xroads.virginia.edu/~Hyper2/thoreau/civil.html
  • Kevin Ford can do what it's always done. Offer buyouts to retirement age employees, and transfers to operating facilities to those who aren't retirement age. Plus, the transition to electric isn't going to be a finger snap one time event. It's going to occur over a few model years. What's a more interesting question is: Where will today's youth find jobs in the auto industry given the lower employment levels?
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