Piston Slap: The Ideal Aussie Indie Film Star?

Hi Sajeev,

I’m a university student completing their honours degree in screen production. My project for this year is making a short drama/comedy about a young man and his car (surprise, surprise!), so I’m looking for old, tidy cars with character.

My search has come down to a yellow 1983 Volvo 244 GL 3sp auto, offered to me for $500AUD with no registration – the pictures I’ve been given shows a very straight, tidy old brick, but it could respond well to a good polish. The bad? The car has been sitting around for at least a few months (could even be closer to a year…), which causes worries. I’m told it drove quite well before it was put away and the owners in question are quite mechanically minded and love their bricks, so I’m lead to believe it will be a good car. However, if I buy this car and it doesn’t work, suddenly I’m out of money and I don’t have a car for my film. So is there anything I should be wary of and check to ensure clean health? Any brick nuts want to chime either?

For you brick nuts, it’s an ’83 244 GL with the B23 and the 3 speed automatic. It’s done 280,000 kilometres/170k miles. I’m from Australia so I’m sure someone will school me on how we got the better bricks and USDM got shafted or something along those lines!

Speedy response would be lovely before I loose my money!

Sajeev answers:

Take it from a single guy who spends a fair bit of time networking: be it for cars or people, “character” is an, um, interesting term. Try telling your average business networking professional that your daily driver is a Ford Ranger. Or a Lincoln Mark VIII. It’s quite an eye opener, and the right car will set the tone for a conversation. Or a movie.

All old cars have tons of it, and perhaps your short film will be adult rated because of the sheer volume of profanity involved when said vehicle’s character leaves the protagonist stranded, waiting for parts or trapped in a diagnostic nightmare. Trapped, I tell you! In this case, depending on the quality of a vehicle’s service history, this might be quite a short film!

Buying a non-runner is a terrible idea for a man in your shoes.

I’d strongly suggest finding a runner that you can test drive and judge on its flaws and benefits. Service history is crucial. I’d also recommend buying an indigenous vehicle so people around the world can get a better window into car culture in Australia. Not necessarily like MAD MAX, but some sort of Australian angle would help.

I’d go with a Holden, any of them. Or a Chrysler with a slant-6 motor. Ya know, the Ford’s already been done.

Send your queries to sajeev@thetruthaboutcars.com. Spare no details and ask for a speedy resolution if you’re in a hurry.