Adventures In Marketing: In An Alternate Universe, the Corolla Is All About Sex

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin
adventures in marketing in an alternate universe the corolla is all about sex

Having suffered behind the wheel of a few rented Corollas during my travels with the 24 Hours of LeMons Circus, I’m here to tell you that the current generation of Corolla— the version you get in rental fleets, at any rate— is one of the least fun motor vehicles you can buy. I am convinced that the suits at Toyota have ordered their top engineers to devise a Fun Prevention Control Module™ for the Corolla, a little box under the dash that does everything from preventing you from finding a good song on the radio to ensuring that you will never, ever be able to pull off even a half-assed e-brake turn in a muddy racetrack paddock. With the FPCM™ in full effect, you’ll drive your Corolla for hundreds of thousands of trouble- and fun-free miles, all the while fantasizing about setting the thing on fire and giving some crackhead $119 for a much more fun ’95 Mercury Mystique rolling on three space-saver spares. So, it came as a shock when I spotted this Corolla-hustling ad on a Saigon Toyota dealership during my recent trip to Vietnam.

According to Toyota’s global website, the Corolla Altis “throws in a staggering change that will definitely blow you away.” Wait, a 21st-century Corolla that will blow you away? A woman in red high heels flashing a few yards-o-leg… associated with a Corolla? What’s going on here? Could this be the foot in the door that banishes the FPCM™ from the Corolla and brings us back to the spirit behind the FX16 Corolla? Well, probably not. But we can hope.

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3 of 8 comments
  • VanillaDude VanillaDude on Apr 06, 2012

    It's ok - some folks will find the Corolla sexy, kind of like they enjoy necrophilia.

  • Inside Looking Out Inside Looking Out on Apr 07, 2012

    It may be boring but it is a Toyota. Actually very popular among women of all ages (?) and girls - my son even refused to sit in one such a bad reputation it had at school.

  • Lou_BC You'd think cops would have an understanding of the laws they are supposed to enforce.
  • Merlyn I’m on my second Spark and love it! I can pass any car I’ve never had a problem going up a hill it does just fine. As for cargo I can fit three suitcases, two book bags and still have the front seat for a passenger. Not sure what point this guy is trying to make. I have hand free phone service and Sirius radio plug in my phone and have navigation. I would buy another spark in a heartbeat.
  • Buickman I won't own one and I'll be happy!
  • Jeanbaptiste Ever since y’all started sending your damn geese down here we’re just been waiting for one of you to show up.
  • 3SpeedAutomatic Drove a rental Cherokee for several days at the beginning of this year. Since the inventory of rental cars is still low, this was a 2020 model with 48k miles and V6. Ran fine, no gremlins, graphics display was easy to work, plenty of power, & very comfortable. Someone must of disarmed the lane assistance feature for the steering wheel never shook (YES!!!!!!!!). However, this woman's voice kept nagging me about the speed limit (what's new!?!?!?!).I was impressed enough to consider this a prime candidate to replace my 11 yr old Ford Escape. Might get a good deal with the close out of the model. Time will tell. 🚗🚗🚗