Damn Homewreckers: Suzuki-Volkswagen Partnership To Be Dissolved In The Foreseeable Future"

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Someone is fanning the flames between Volkswagen and Suzuki, and we aren’t talking flames of love. Today, the German Platow Brief reported a bit belatedly that the German-Nipponese alliance is on the ropes. Something that the attentive reader of TTAC has known for quite a while and as always free of charge. The expensive subscription to the German financial newsletter is not in our editorial budget. A friend of TTAC sent us today’s Platow missive, which can’t be found on-line. After going through the usual blah-blah, the letter drops a high explosive bomb:

„The German-Japanese alliance is about to turn into a shipwreck. As we hear, the partnership shall be dissolved in the foreseeable future.”

The pricey gossip letter does not name any sources, and does not imply to have any.

As it is not Platow’s job to announce the cessation of the coalition, there was immediate counter-battery fire. A Suzuki spokesman told Germany’s Focus magazine that “there are no intentions to end the cooperation with Volkswagen.” A Volkswagen spokesman refused to comment. Usually, it is Volkswagen’s role to claim that everything is fine and dandy. Suzuki’s role in the kabuki dance used to be to play the date rape victim. Maybe, they just said “it’s your turn to deny it, last time, it was on me.”

Reuters, usually well informed in the matters concerning the Wolfsburg-Hamamatsu sopu opera, weighs in, confirmed the Suzuki denial and the Wolfsburg “we say nozzink” and reminds us that “relations between the two companies showed signs of souring last month as Suzuki Executive Vice-President Yasuhito Harayama asserted the company’s independence and said the two groups needed to go back to the drawing board on their partnership.”

As far as we know, both of them are still doodling. Volkswagen is conducting a review of the partnership, and Suzuki demands to be treated as an equal partner

Tip to Suzuki: At Volkswagen, the term to use is “auf Augenhöhe” – eye-to-eye, on par with. If you really want to blow them away, demand “Kultur auf Augenhöhe mit Handschlagqualität.” This is a magic spell. Use it and they will immediately answer: “Hai, wakatta!”

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2 of 3 comments
  • Mazder3 Mazder3 on Aug 08, 2011

    Suzuki wollen wahrscheinlich nicht die Fusion, wie die scheusslich Abtreibung, die DaimlerChrysler geworden war. Gut für sie.

  • Les Les on Aug 08, 2011

    Buh.. Buh-buh.... Boobies.... o_o

  • 28-Cars-Later Corey - I think I am going to issue a fatwa demanding a cool kids car meetup in July somewhere in the Ohio region.
  • Master Baiter Might as well light 50 $100 bills on fire.
  • Mike1041 At $300K per copy they may secure as much as 2 or 3 deposits of $1,000
  • Sgeffe Why on Earth can’t you just get the torque specs and do it yourself if you’re so-inclined?!
  • Sgeffe As was stated in another comment, the FAA nominee went down in flames. But the NTSB chairwoman certainly didn’t, and she’s certainly not qualified either!Lots of this kind of stuff going on both sides of the aisle—Ben Carson would have arguably made a better Surgeon General than HUD Secretary under Trump, for example.