The Booth Babe Chronicles: Drunky McDrunkerson

The Booth Babe
by The Booth Babe

Friends, there are certain times when my job is freaking amazing, and last week was one of those times. I spent several days at a world-class event repping a powerhouse brand, rubbing shoulders with racing royalty in one of the most beautiful places to which I’ve had the pleasure of traveling. You can fill in the blanks yourselves. Summer events like these are what get us through the long, cold days of auto show season. But some of these great places seem to drive some people to drink.

I was oh-so-pleasantly surprised that 99.99 percent of our participants fully followed my previously published guidelines of good behavior at automotive events. Patience and niceties were the name of the game. I heard “please”! I heard “thank you”! I had lovely conversations with people who showed respect for what I was saying! Pretty much everyone I was dealing with had scads of money yet not a single one threw the “Don’t you know who I am?” line at me to get what they wanted. In short, it was a dream job.

Until Drunky McDrunkerson showed up.

Dear Drunky was so hammered that he couldn’t stand on his own, instead he was relying on a patio pillar to prop up his considerable heft. Drunky began his flirtation with a plea for sympathy. Turns out he was so hammered that he tumbled out of a golf cart going about half a mile an hour and had the injuries to prove it: a skinned knuckle and bloody shin. Hot, right?

Self-inflicted alcohol injuries are hilarious by definition, but Drunky mistook my mirth for romantic machinations. Encouraged, he slowly but surely broke out the heavy artillery until he was offering his exotic sports car and tickets to Kings of Leon in exchange for my company that evening. It took a while to figure this out, however, as he was slurring so heavily that the foreign accents swirling around us were far easier to decode. Gravity was pulling him down the pillar that had been propping him up.

Since Drunky couldn’t take no for an answer the first dozen or so times, I finally told him I would meet him when I was getting off, and I gave him a full hour after my real quitting time. By which time I would be long gone. You might think this was mean, but frankly he wasn’t going to remember this entire conversation fifteen minutes later anyway, so it’s not like he was going to show up.

Eventually I was rescued by a caring coworker, then Drunky’s friends moved him along. But Drunky did not give up. In fact, several other booth babes told me nearly identical tales of Drunky, down to the golf cart incident. If at first you don’t succeed, etc., I suppose.

But you know what? Drunky may have been a bit overbearing and obviously wasted, but he never actually said anything wholly inappropriate. He never tried to touch or grab me. He never called me “babe” or any variation thereof and didn’t talk down to me on automotive product knowledge. And he never once asked, “Do you come with the car?”

Thank you Drunky McDrunkerson, wherever you are, for making the weirdest part of my awesome work week even more awesome.

PS: You may want to call the Betty. Or at least give your pal the keys to that exotic.

The Booth Babe is an anonymous auto show model who dishes about what really goes on behind the scenes. Read her blog at http://doyoucomewiththecar.blogspot.com. And if you treat her nicely, read her each Sunday at Thetruthaboutcars.com

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  • Disaster Disaster on Aug 16, 2010

    Interesting theory. There isn't anything to prove BB isn't just another avenue for Bertel to post.

  • Greenb1ood Greenb1ood on Aug 20, 2010

    Yes, opinions are like a-holes. Maybe even drunk a-holes...yet many of the negative opinions here seem to be spot on. Upon a cruze (spelling paid by GM) over to the Booth Babe's Blog, it becomes obvious that her writing style relies very heavily on the words "I", "My", and "Me". That is not the style we have come to expect from TTAC - maybe save for Mr. Baruth - and it comes across in this space as grating. Being highly opinionated and direct when it comes to products and the actions of companies that produce them is one issue, the same vitriol directed at people attending an auto show is tasteless and serves to advance the stereotype that "boothbabes" really are shallow, narcissistic, and hold themselves above the crowd of poor shlubs that file by the exotics they tend. I for one have met very smart, very beautiful, very down-to-earth girls and have to believe that some of them work at auto functions and own a keyboard. Hearing their perspectives on the automotive industry and is high-dollar marketing function (like we hear from Bertel) would be highly interesting and entertaining from that perspective and I look forward to finding that talented individual. Hearing this individual scold show goers, show goers' children, and pretty much anyone else who offends her delicate sensibilities really holds no value nor adds to automotive education many come here to receive. In fact, the only reason I click on these links is in the hope that Bertel makes a guest appearance - since it is his byline - to fulfill my quota of enjoyable BS insights. I could venture a guess that this is the reason many of the B&B click. But being car guys, I'm sure none of this will deter you from the enjoyment of having a "Boothbabe" at the office Christmas party every year, so...carry on. (tongue firmly in cheek)

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