Hammer Time: Avanti's Inferno

“What should I buy?” Well these days it really doesn’t matter as much as you would think. The marketplace is absolutely riddled with 300+ late models to choose from and most of them are perfectly fine daily drivers. A Toyota? A Buick? A Mitsubishi? For most folks it really doesn’t matter. I’m not kidding. Their footwear is going to have a bigger impact on their quality of life than the car they drive.

But even today’s automotive world has a few cars that will cost more money to maintain per capita than our national debt. I’m not kidding there either. Bad engines. Clunky transmissions. Electric Gremlins worthy of a Steven Spielberg Sequel. Not to mention safety recalls that could even make a Chinese bureaucrat nervous. So without further lawsuits or potential censorship issues from aspiring TTAC sponsors, here they are…

Chrysler 2.7’s: Whenever anyone sees a midsized Chrysler at the auctions, the first thing they do is open the hood. If there’s a 2.7L engine in there, they quickly slam it and walk away. Either that or adjust their bid downwards by about $2000. This engine represents the absolute worst of modern engine durability. Oil sludge? Check. Chain Tensioner Failures? Check. Rebuilds which typically cost $1500+ for dealers? (Times two for the public) Check and check. There’s a rumor that Chrysler upgraded the engine around 2004 or 2005. I’ve yet to see that evidence. But I have seen a 2002 Chrysler Concorde maintained by the Salvation Army since Day One blow up three months after I sold it. Oil changes every 3k. A car that comes with more crucifixes per foot than the Vatican. It doesn’t matter. Avoid it.

Suzuki Forenza: It says a lot these days when nearly half your customers already hate your vehicle within a few years of owning it. There are three things that kill these models. Build quality, fuel economy, and electronics. The last of which has netted a healthy surplus of these vehicles at the dealer auctions. Last year we had a 2006 Forenza with only about 45,000 miles sell for $3500. Cheap? A little bit. But it was as erratic as Zell Miller on a sugar high.

Ford Contour: This car had so many unique issues on it that they should have released a TSB edition. Ford’s first attempt at building a world-class car was mostly a failure in the United States while a reasonable success in Europe. Why? Decontenting with a big capital D. Ford took a reasonably well-made vehicle across the pond and put in absolute bottom of the line quality standards when it came to the US version. It’s rare to see these vehicles sell for more than $1500 at the auctions. Even during tax season. A high end SVT may be great for an enthusiast, but the rest of the line is typically a headache on wheels.

Ford Focus (2000 – 2003): I have a friend of mine who is a top ten buyer at two different dealer auctions. He’s been doing it for nearly 30 years now. The number one piece of advice he told me was to never, and I mean never, buy a Ford Focus from these model years. The 2000 models had more recalls than any vehicle since the early-80’s. Ten safety recalls. That’s right, ten. I’ve also yet to see one from this time period that didn’t have rattles at idle. I will say one good thing. There was one 2000 model that actually had 393k on the odometer. Quite an accomplishment, but I’m sure the owner was halfway to deafness with all the noise that came in the cabin. He also used a bungee cord to help shift it which was probably more expensive than the Ford sourced stick itself.

Kia: The Kia what? Everything. Maybe some of their higher end models from 2006 onwards would be worth considering. But no. I’m not going to endorse what I believe is the biggest myth in our business. That is, “Kia builds good cars because Hyundai owns them.” Sorry to spoil the short-term media derived pixie dust in our industry, but Kias have generally been absolutely piss-poor vehicles up until these last couple of years.

They have been so bad… (how bad are they!) that I even created a ‘ Kia Index‘ to symbolize brands that are inevitably traded in with low miles due to mechanical issues. Contrary to the Chrysler hate fest, Sephias, Rios, Sedonas, and Optimas really do represent the absolute bottom of the barrel of the used car world after the five year old mark. I seldom see a pre-2006 model at the auctions that doesn’t have a major issue. Any exceptions? The current generation Sedona minivan is decent and the Spectra had a few good moments late in it’s life. Otherwise I would consider a higher quality anything as an alternative.

Volkswagen: There are good Volkswagens. They just happen to be mostly owned by enthusiasts. The rest of them fall anywhere from ‘pick and choose’ to ‘chronic nigglers’. I will give a good mention to the TDI engines. But you really need to either have the mind of an engineer or be a registered member of the TDI club to get the most out of them. GTI’s are fine from my experience.

Otherwise any VW with the 1.8T engine or the too slow 2.5L VW represents god awful long-term value for the non-enthusiast. Oil sludge and crappy turbo durability for the 1.8. Plastic parts for VW interiors that are cheap and disposable, and the 2.5L is a boring and coarse engine with mediocre fuel economy. Sorry folks, but the low mileage trade-in index for VW’s is among the worst I see for any automaker. There’s a reason for it.

Jaguar X-Type (2001 – 2002): I happen to love almost everything that Jaguar sells. But not this car. The 2.5L version is pretty much a combination of the worst aspects of a Contour with the four figured maintenance costs of a Jaguar. The 2005 model year update yielded enough engineering improvements to make it a possibility. But I’m still waiting to see how those cars make out once they reach the 80k to 100k levels. For now I would only consider one of these models if it were a 3.0L, six-speed, wagon… none of which sold in the United States.

Saab: A Saabaru 9-2X or a 9-7 are possibilities. But why bother? The badged alternatives are generally cheaper to buy and better for their core clientele. The 9-3 and 9-5 are actually quite competitive as wagons. But oil sludge issues, high parts costs, and GM’s cost cutting make them hard for me to recommend to folks who aren’t gearheads. If you buy one as a long-term keeper car make sure you keep track of junkyard parts and either DIY or get yourself a really good mechanic.

Northstar engines: GM has this wonderful engine that can be raced like a demon and loves an Italian tune-up. So what do they do? They hand it off to a borderline comatose clientele in models whose exteriors can out-square a Volvo. Add a dash of Roger Smith ‘save a nickel’ seasoning by using low-quality steel headbolts on an all aluminum engine. What you end up with are blow head gaskets that typically take over 20 hours of labor to rebuild. Even Cadillac dealers now resort to non-GM parts for this engine. Cliff Notes version: Avoid Cadillacs with versions of this engine.