Curbside Classic: The Ultimate Chick Magnet – Citroen 2CV Hoffman Cabriolet

Paul Niedermeyer
by Paul Niedermeyer
curbside classic the ultimate chick magnet citroen 2cv hoffman cabriolet

[Tongue partially planted in cheek]

What is the source of American men’s latent and easily provoked disdain for the French (and their cars)? Umm, it doesn’t exactly take a study to prove what what we secretly suspect and obviously are a wee bit uncomfortable with: they’re having more sex than us. Yet they drive small, weird underpowered weenie-mobiles. Well, guys, it seems to be working for them.

It may be fun to wax eloquently over a ’74 Imperia l late at night well into a magnum of Shiraz-Cab, but I’ve got news for you: this Citroen 2CV Cabrio is going to get you a lot more action than the Le Baron. Just getting off a couple of shots of this PM Hoffman Cabrio on the streets of Portland without ogling girls in the way was a challenge for Edward, who took these shots. Guys, it’s time to stop living in the past, driving the old barge around with memories of what went on in that giant back seat decades ago. You have a house with a bed now, right? Put the old yank tank or Camaro up on blocks, and get on with it before it’s too late. Because this Citroen is the ultimate chick magnet.

Don’t believe me? Try driving a Hummer down a Parisian street and see what kind of response you get. Women want a guy who’s secure about his manhood, and what better way is there to display that than with a 600 cc, 26 hp 2CV? Especially so when it’s this sporty little two passenger conversion made by Hoffman. And there won’t be any lingering doubts about the back seat being used by kiddies. Hoffman also offers conversions to turn the little two-banger into a pickup or even a stretch limo, but that seems to be defeating the whole purpose of the exercise. Going the other direction makes more sense: eliminate the body altogether and one of the rear wheels and turn it into a cool little Morganesque three-wheeler. I’ll take one of those in a heartbeat.

The problem with American men is that they tend to equate a sexy car with the real thing. I know there are some men that actually have broken through that barrier, and for them it really is the real thing, but I’m not speaking to that audience here. Anyway, the 2CV’s tailpipe may be too small even for the stereotypical Hummer driver. I’m talking about the more conventional relationship, the one in which the word “cargasmic” tends to be overused. Ok, nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn’t actually get in the way of the real thing. Which it might, depending on your target demographic and IQ range. I’ve actually heard guys swear that there’s nothing better than an EV, even a Zap Xebra, to break the ice in the right locations. Not painted yellow, either.

If you’ve ever watched The Misfits, you’ll know that Marlyn’s last role personified the sensitive, environmentally-aware feminine future, and Gable as the dying bronco/environment busting cowboy myth. Guys, you wanna be lonely cowboys in your pickup, and maybe find a little cuddle up on Brokeback Mountain, or are you going to bravely plunge into the future in your EV Conversion Hoffman Cabrio? The girls want to know, before they get tired of waiting and find something better to do.

More new Curbside Classics here

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2 of 48 comments
  • Nick Nick on Jan 24, 2010

    "But my experience is that the way the man comports himself comes first and foremost" Martin...where do you LIVE? I am not trying to flame anyone, I swear, but you are either extraordinarily lucky or live in a corner of the world that I've previously never heard of.

  • Aamj50 Aamj50 on Jan 25, 2010

    I was at the MotoGP (F1 for motorcycles) race in Indy this year and parked near a very cool Triumph Street Triple R like this As I was admiring the the bike a very pretty woman dressed in riding gear walked up to it. Being the chauvinist jerk that I am I figured she was waiting for her boyfriend. Nope. On went the helmet and she was gone. Were I not happily married I probably would have skipped watching qualifying and creepily followed her. Anyway. What was the subject?

  • TheEndlessEnigma I just had one of these earlier this week as a rental while on a business trip. What a completely uninteresting and forgettable appliance the "Corolla Cross" is. Rock hard seating, gutless engine, slushy transmission that pauses to allow you to reconsider your throttle inputs before grudgingly acceding to your suggestions, uninspired handling, poor visibility and "look at me I'm the same as everyone else" styling. Pretty poor effort from Toyota be will be spoken of positively because it is a Toyota, regardless of the vehicle's actual merits....or lack thereof.
  • Da Coyote It's attractive, but having owned an Alfa in college (yes, I was stupid enough to have one), and even having loved driving it during the few days it was drivable, I'll give it a pass. However, I'd love Italian styling coupled with Toyota engineering. A painful thought would be Toyota styling coupled to Alfa engineering.
  • EBFlex Only 33 miles is disappointing. 50 miles should be the absolute minimum when it comes to PHEVs, especially for the cost of this Toenail
  • Theflyersfan I pass by the "old money" neighborhoods next to the golf course community where many of the doctors and non-ambulance chaser lawyers live in town and these new Range Rovers are popping up everywhere. It used to the Q8 and SQ8, but I'm thinking those leases expired, traded in, or given to their never leaving home son or daughter so they can smash it at a DUI stop, get on the news, and get out of jail free. I'm not getting into their new design language, and I like Land Rovers. They aren't supposed to look like smooth bars of soap - they need a few character lines or hints of offroad ability, even though the odds of this getting on anything other than a gravel parking lot are less than nil. And with the new Range Rover's rear and the taillights, if I wanted a small solid red bar for a lamp that did everything and then dies and then I can't tell what the car wants to do, I'd follow a late 80's, early 90's Oldsmobile 98.
  • Lou_BC Legalize cannabis for racing