Clarkson Pisses All Over the Tesla Roadster, Again

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

Top Gear presenter and Times carmudgeon Jeremy Clarkson is not one to walk away form a fight. In fact, you could say he never met a fist he didn’t lunge his towards. After Tesla and the MSM knocked Clarkson for pretending that a Roadster ran out of juice in an episode of the shark jumping car show, Clarkson mounted Ye Olde “Valid Yet Undeclared Fictional Recreation of Theoretical Facts” defense. And that, one presumed, was that. Only, of course, it wasn’t. In Clarkson’s Times column, the world’s most famous pistonhead attempts to disprove the English maxim “the first thing you do when you’re in a hole is stop digging.” “Tesla, when contacted by reporters, gave its account of what happened and it was exactly the same as ours. It explained that the brakes had stopped working because of a blown fuse and didn’t question at all our claim that the car would have run out of electricity after 55 miles.” Uh, yes it did. Anyway… “The problem is, though, that really and honestly, the US-made Tesla works only at dinner parties. Tell someone you have one and in minutes you will be having sex. But as a device for moving you and your things around, it is about as much use as a bag of muddy spinach.” Dodgy handling, high price, yada, yada, yada. And the Roadster’s greatest sin?


It’s not the Honda Clarity.

“In the fullness of time, I have no doubt that the Tesla can be honed and chiselled and developed to a point where the problems are gone. But time is one thing a car such as this does not have.

“Because while Tesla fiddles about with batteries, Honda and Ford are surging onwards with hydrogen cars, which don’t need charging, can be fuelled normally and are completely green. The biggest problem, then, with the Tesla is not that it doesn’t work. It’s that even if it did, it would be driving down the wrong road.”

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

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  • TheRealAutoGuy TheRealAutoGuy on Jan 12, 2009

    Clarkston, as the old line goes, is too clever by half. He's be called out on a misleading story, so he's playing defense and trying to change the subject. If I lived in Silicon Valley, an electric car for errands / weekend runs / fun, etc. would be neat. For many of us, the constraints posed by heavy heating and A/C loads, plus a large commute render a vehicle like this useless. Given the proper infrastructure (which Europe is capable of doing, the USA less so), hydrogen CAN be a player

  • Tauronmaikar Tauronmaikar on Jan 31, 2009

    If clarkson had praised the Tesla I would never had respected him again. Everybody who is not a stupid treehuger with no knowledge of engineering knows the Tesla is a gimmick with as much substance as penis enlargement pills.

  • 3SpeedAutomatic I'd like to see a sedan:[list][*]boxy in shape, avoid the windshield at a 65º angle BS[/*][*]tall greenhouse, plenty of headroom to sit straight up in the back seat[/*][*]V8, true dual exhaust, sans turbo, gobs of torque[/*][*]rear wheel drive, fully independent suspension, accommodate a stretched wheel base (livery service would go nuts)[/*][*]distinctive, tasteful colors (black, navy blue, claret, etc.)[/*][*]more substance, less flash on dashboard[/*][*]limited 5 yr run, get it while you can before the EPA shuts you down[/*][/list]
  • Bd2 Mark my words : Lexus Deathwatch Part 1, the T24 From Hell!
  • Michael S6 Cadillac is beyond fixing because of lack of investment and uncompetitive products. The division and GM are essentially held afloat by mega size SUV (and pick up truck GM) that only domestic brainwashed population buys. Cadillac only hope was to leapfrog the competition in the luxury EV market but that turned out disastrously with the botches role out of the Lyriq which is now dead on arrival.
  • BlackEldo I'm not sure the entire brand can be fixed, but maybe they should start with the C pillar on the CT5...
  • Bd2 To sum up my comments and follow-up comments here backed by some data, perhaps Cadillac should look to the Genesis formula in order to secure a more competitive position in the market. Indeed, by using bespoke Rwd chassis, powertrains and interiors Genesis is selling neck and neck with Lexus while ATPs are 15 to 35% higher depending on the segment you are looking at. While Lexus can't sell Rwd sedans, Genesis is outpacing them 2.2 to 1. Genesis is an industry world changing success story, frankly Cadillac would be insane to not replicate it for themselves.
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