Geil! Beemer-Heiress Fornicated, Filmed, And Fornicated Again

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt
Fornication seems to be part and parcel of the heavy metal business: Salesmen do it to their customers, corporations do it to taxpayers, fornication-for-euros helped VeeDub bring the unions in check (and jail,) Porsche fornicates hedge funds, F1 Mosely caught being spanked by dominatrixes (link NSFW, especially THAT one) and the list goes on. What do you think the deeper meaning of “Fahrvergnügen” really was? How could someone who owns a good chunk of BMW stand aside when everybody’s doing it? And so it happened: Susanne Klatten, born as Susanne Hanna Ursula Quandt on 28 April 1962 in Bad Homburg in Germany, is, according to Bloomberg, the wealthiest woman of Germany. Forbes has her on #55 of their list of the world’s billiopersons. Married, three kids. Germany’s average soccer mom. And why would TTAC express an interest in the lady? The interest is strictly professional: Together with her mother Johanna and her brother Stephan, Frau Klatten owns 46 percent of BMW. Susanne’s father, Herbert Quandt, made headlines and a lot of money in 1959, when he bought the near bankrupt BMW for a song. Daughter Susie, commonly painted as “shy” and “withdrawn,” also owned a nagging desire for more nookie. Husband Jan Klatten, himself a BMW engineer when the couple met, apparently was more interested in propshaft couplings than in the biblical sense of the part. And then the void was filled. So to speak…

By Helg Sgarbi, an Italian (some say Swiss) scoundrel and swordsman, who bedded the heiress, usually in the appropriate 5-star digs in Munich and Monte Carlo. Little did Frau Klatten know that she was filmed-– or make that videoed– in the act. Sgarbi’s co-conspirator, Ernani Baretta, worked the equipment from an adjoining suite. Sgarbi fornicated on Baretta’s (68) behalf.

Then, the money part. First, Sgarbi told Frau Klatten a tear-jerker story that he was blackmailed by the mafia. Susanne “saved” her sweetheart to the tune of €7.5m. Sgarbi, having found a sucker in more ways than one, wanted more, more, more. A DVD was received by Frau Klatten, showing Susanne receiving fulfillment from the Swiss-Italian gigolo. That DVD came with a demand for a cool €40m. At that point, Frau Klatten said “fornicate it” (or words to that effect) and sought the help of the police. As tactfully as possible, Baretta was arrested in Italy, Sgarbi was detained either in Austria or Italy (accounts differ) and both were extradited to BMW’s hometown Munich, where they are rotting in the Stadelheim jail, awaiting the trial by a surely highly unsympathetic judge.

Baretta turned out to be a leader of a strange sect in Italy, and Sgarbi was his stud. In the picturesque Pescosansonesco, prossimo (near) Pescara, Baretta kept a throng of submissive signoras who gave him everything. Their love and their money. Baretta wanted more, and got it. According to rumors in Deutschland and Switzerland, Baretta had sexy scoundrel Sgarbi bed numerous high profile ladies, some friends of Klatten. And Susi didn’t surround herself with social security recipients. More shoes are sure to drop. Or not. After all, Susi took the fall for her friends.

In the meantime, the matter is being handled in Munich as discreetly as a cat that absconded from the bag allows. BMW has the usual “Kein Kommentar.” Both blackmailers will have their days in court next year, and very possibly (BMW is one of Bavaria’s biggest employers), Frau Klatten may be saved the embarrassment of an appearance as an extramarital witness. Munich’s Senior Prosecutor Anton Winkler “can’t say at this point in time” whether Susi shall be called. What was BMW’s latest tagline? “Less emissions. More driving pleasure.”

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href=""> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href=""> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Bertel Schmitt Bertel Schmitt on Nov 07, 2008

    Of course she had security. Even in Germany, no upstanding leader or leaderesse of state or industry would leave home without burly people packing heat. But like in the cases of stateside politicians, people have a tendency to otherwise occupy their protective detail before hopping in bed with the other (or, gasp, same) gender. As was the case when she met her later husband, Klatten did at first not reveal her true indentity to the gigolo. She just had the scent of money on her. When Sgarbi found out who he had really fornicated, it was too late. The Italian newspaper Il Giornale has transcripts of phonetaps. Boss Baretta to an unnamed 3rd party: “Do you know who she is? The richest woman of Germany! She has enormous power, there are bodyguards when you get close to her. Adresses, phone numbers, photos – I burned everything. I made the biggest mistake in my life!” A revelation that came too late.

  • Jg3arrow Jg3arrow on Nov 12, 2008

    Susanne Kant? Sounds like she could.

  • DS No for 2 reasons. 1-Every new car pipelines data back to the manufacturer; I don't like it with domestic, Japanese and Euro companies and won't put up with it going to Chinese companies that are part financed by their government. 2-People have already mentioned Vinfast, but there's also the case of Hyundai. Their cars were absolutely miserable for years before they learned enough about the US market
  • Theflyersfan Well, if you're on a Samsung phone, (noticing all of the shipping boxes are half Vietnamese), you're using a Vietnam-built phone. Apple? Most of ours in the warehouse say China, but they are trying to spread out to other countries because putting all eggs in the Chinese basket right now is not wise. I'm asking Apple users here (the point of above) - if you're OK using an expensive iPhone, where is your Made in China line in the sand? Can't stress this enough - not being confrontational. I am curious, that's all. Is it because Apple is California-based that manufacturing location doesn't matter, vs a company in a Beijing skyscraper? We have all weekend to hopefully have a civil discussion about how much is too much when it comes to supporting companies being HQ-ed in adversarial countries. I, for one, can't pull the trigger on a Chinese car. All kinds of reasons - political, human rights, war mongering and land grabbing - my morality is ruling my decisions with them.
  • Jbltg Ford AND VAG. What could possibly go wrong?
  • Leonard Ostrander We own a 2017 Buick Envision built in China. It has been very reliable and meets our needs perfectly. Of course Henry Ford was a fervent anti-semite and staunch nazi sympathizer so that rules out Ford products.
  • Ravenuer I would not.