Geil! Beemer-Heiress Fornicated, Filmed, And Fornicated Again

Fornication seems to be part and parcel of the heavy metal business: Salesmen do it to their customers, corporations do it to taxpayers, fornication-for-euros helped VeeDub bring the unions in check (and jail,) Porsche fornicates hedge funds, F1 Mosely caught being spanked by dominatrixes (link NSFW, especially THAT one) and the list goes on. What do you think the deeper meaning of “Fahrvergnügen” really was? How could someone who owns a good chunk of BMW stand aside when everybody’s doing it? And so it happened: Susanne Klatten, born as Susanne Hanna Ursula Quandt on 28 April 1962 in Bad Homburg in Germany, is, according to Bloomberg, the wealthiest woman of Germany. Forbes has her on #55 of their list of the world’s billiopersons. Married, three kids. Germany’s average soccer mom. And why would TTAC express an interest in the lady? The interest is strictly professional: Together with her mother Johanna and her brother Stephan, Frau Klatten owns 46 percent of BMW. Susanne’s father, Herbert Quandt, made headlines and a lot of money in 1959, when he bought the near bankrupt BMW for a song. Daughter Susie, commonly painted as “shy” and “withdrawn,” also owned a nagging desire for more nookie. Husband Jan Klatten, himself a BMW engineer when the couple met, apparently was more interested in propshaft couplings than in the biblical sense of the part. And then the void was filled. So to speak…

By Helg Sgarbi, an Italian (some say Swiss) scoundrel and swordsman, who bedded the heiress, usually in the appropriate 5-star digs in Munich and Monte Carlo. Little did Frau Klatten know that she was filmed-– or make that videoed– in the act. Sgarbi’s co-conspirator, Ernani Baretta, worked the equipment from an adjoining suite. Sgarbi fornicated on Baretta’s (68) behalf.

Then, the money part. First, Sgarbi told Frau Klatten a tear-jerker story that he was blackmailed by the mafia. Susanne “saved” her sweetheart to the tune of €7.5m. Sgarbi, having found a sucker in more ways than one, wanted more, more, more. A DVD was received by Frau Klatten, showing Susanne receiving fulfillment from the Swiss-Italian gigolo. That DVD came with a demand for a cool €40m. At that point, Frau Klatten said “fornicate it” (or words to that effect) and sought the help of the police. As tactfully as possible, Baretta was arrested in Italy, Sgarbi was detained either in Austria or Italy (accounts differ) and both were extradited to BMW’s hometown Munich, where they are rotting in the Stadelheim jail, awaiting the trial by a surely highly unsympathetic judge.

Baretta turned out to be a leader of a strange sect in Italy, and Sgarbi was his stud. In the picturesque Pescosansonesco, prossimo (near) Pescara, Baretta kept a throng of submissive signoras who gave him everything. Their love and their money. Baretta wanted more, and got it. According to rumors in Deutschland and Switzerland, Baretta had sexy scoundrel Sgarbi bed numerous high profile ladies, some friends of Klatten. And Susi didn’t surround herself with social security recipients. More shoes are sure to drop. Or not. After all, Susi took the fall for her friends.

In the meantime, the matter is being handled in Munich as discreetly as a cat that absconded from the bag allows. BMW has the usual “Kein Kommentar.” Both blackmailers will have their days in court next year, and very possibly (BMW is one of Bavaria’s biggest employers), Frau Klatten may be saved the embarrassment of an appearance as an extramarital witness. Munich’s Senior Prosecutor Anton Winkler “can’t say at this point in time” whether Susi shall be called. What was BMW’s latest tagline? “Less emissions. More driving pleasure.”