Geil! Beemer-Heiress Fornicated, Filmed, And Fornicated Again

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt
geil beemer heiress fornicated filmed and fornicated again
Fornication seems to be part and parcel of the heavy metal business: Salesmen do it to their customers, corporations do it to taxpayers, fornication-for-euros helped VeeDub bring the unions in check (and jail,) Porsche fornicates hedge funds, F1 Mosely caught being spanked by dominatrixes (link NSFW, especially THAT one) and the list goes on. What do you think the deeper meaning of “Fahrvergnügen” really was? How could someone who owns a good chunk of BMW stand aside when everybody’s doing it? And so it happened: Susanne Klatten, born as Susanne Hanna Ursula Quandt on 28 April 1962 in Bad Homburg in Germany, is, according to Bloomberg, the wealthiest woman of Germany. Forbes has her on #55 of their list of the world’s billiopersons. Married, three kids. Germany’s average soccer mom. And why would TTAC express an interest in the lady? The interest is strictly professional: Together with her mother Johanna and her brother Stephan, Frau Klatten owns 46 percent of BMW. Susanne’s father, Herbert Quandt, made headlines and a lot of money in 1959, when he bought the near bankrupt BMW for a song. Daughter Susie, commonly painted as “shy” and “withdrawn,” also owned a nagging desire for more nookie. Husband Jan Klatten, himself a BMW engineer when the couple met, apparently was more interested in propshaft couplings than in the biblical sense of the part. And then the void was filled. So to speak…

By Helg Sgarbi, an Italian (some say Swiss) scoundrel and swordsman, who bedded the heiress, usually in the appropriate 5-star digs in Munich and Monte Carlo. Little did Frau Klatten know that she was filmed-– or make that videoed– in the act. Sgarbi’s co-conspirator, Ernani Baretta, worked the equipment from an adjoining suite. Sgarbi fornicated on Baretta’s (68) behalf.

Then, the money part. First, Sgarbi told Frau Klatten a tear-jerker story that he was blackmailed by the mafia. Susanne “saved” her sweetheart to the tune of €7.5m. Sgarbi, having found a sucker in more ways than one, wanted more, more, more. A DVD was received by Frau Klatten, showing Susanne receiving fulfillment from the Swiss-Italian gigolo. That DVD came with a demand for a cool €40m. At that point, Frau Klatten said “fornicate it” (or words to that effect) and sought the help of the police. As tactfully as possible, Baretta was arrested in Italy, Sgarbi was detained either in Austria or Italy (accounts differ) and both were extradited to BMW’s hometown Munich, where they are rotting in the Stadelheim jail, awaiting the trial by a surely highly unsympathetic judge.

Baretta turned out to be a leader of a strange sect in Italy, and Sgarbi was his stud. In the picturesque Pescosansonesco, prossimo (near) Pescara, Baretta kept a throng of submissive signoras who gave him everything. Their love and their money. Baretta wanted more, and got it. According to rumors in Deutschland and Switzerland, Baretta had sexy scoundrel Sgarbi bed numerous high profile ladies, some friends of Klatten. And Susi didn’t surround herself with social security recipients. More shoes are sure to drop. Or not. After all, Susi took the fall for her friends.

In the meantime, the matter is being handled in Munich as discreetly as a cat that absconded from the bag allows. BMW has the usual “Kein Kommentar.” Both blackmailers will have their days in court next year, and very possibly (BMW is one of Bavaria’s biggest employers), Frau Klatten may be saved the embarrassment of an appearance as an extramarital witness. Munich’s Senior Prosecutor Anton Winkler “can’t say at this point in time” whether Susi shall be called. What was BMW’s latest tagline? “Less emissions. More driving pleasure.”

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  • Bertel Schmitt Bertel Schmitt on Nov 07, 2008

    Of course she had security. Even in Germany, no upstanding leader or leaderesse of state or industry would leave home without burly people packing heat. But like in the cases of stateside politicians, people have a tendency to otherwise occupy their protective detail before hopping in bed with the other (or, gasp, same) gender. As was the case when she met her later husband, Klatten did at first not reveal her true indentity to the gigolo. She just had the scent of money on her. When Sgarbi found out who he had really fornicated, it was too late. The Italian newspaper Il Giornale has transcripts of phonetaps. Boss Baretta to an unnamed 3rd party: “Do you know who she is? The richest woman of Germany! She has enormous power, there are bodyguards when you get close to her. Adresses, phone numbers, photos – I burned everything. I made the biggest mistake in my life!” A revelation that came too late.

  • Jg3arrow Jg3arrow on Nov 12, 2008

    Susanne Kant? Sounds like she could.

  • MaintenanceCosts Despite my hostile comments above I really can't wait to see a video of one of these at the strip. A production car running mid-eights is just bats. I just hope that at least one owner lets it happen, rather than offloading the car from the trailer straight into a helium-filled bag that goes into a dark secured warehouse until Barrett-Jackson 2056.
  • Schurkey Decades later, I'm still peeved that Honda failed to recall and repair the seat belts in my '80 Civic. Well-known issue with the retractors failing to retract.Honda cut a deal with the NHTSA at that time, to put a "lifetime warranty" on FUTURE seat belts, in return for not having to deal with the existing problems.Dirtbags all around. Customers screwed, corporation and Government moves on.
  • Bullnuke An acquaintance of mine 50+ years ago who was attending MIT (until General Hershey's folks sent him his "Greetings" letter) converted an Austin Mini from its staid 4 cylinder to an electric motored fuel cell vehicle. It was done as a project during his progression toward a Master Degree in Electrical Engineering. He told me it worked pretty well but wasn't something to use as a daily driver given the technology and availability of suitable components of the time. Fueling LH2 and LOX was somewhat problematic. Upon completion he removed his fuel cell and equipment and, for another project, reinstalled the 4 banger but reassembled it without mechanical fasteners using an experimental epoxy adhesive instead which, he said, worked much better and was a daily driver...for awhile. He went on to be an enlisted Reactor Operator on a submarine for a few years.
  • Ajla $100k is walking around money but this is almost certainly the last Dodge V8 vehicle and it's likely to be the most powerful factory-installed and warrantied pushrod engine ever. So there is some historical applicability to things even if you have an otherwise low opinion of the Challenger.And, like I said up thread, if you still hate it will be gone soon anyway.
  • Carlson Fan GM completely blew the marketing of the Volt. The commercials were terrible. You'd swear they told the advertising company to come up with an ad that would make sure no one went out and shopped a Volt after seeing it!...........LOL My buddy asked why I bought a car that only goes 40 miles on a charge? That pretty much sums up how confusing and uninformative the advertising was.