Bailout Watch 149: Wagoner, Nardelli, Mulally, Gettelfinger and Pelosi Meet to Carve-Up Bailout Bucks

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago
bailout watch 149 wagoner nardelli mulally gettelfinger and pelosi meet to

The capi di tutti di automibili Americani are having a little sit down today, to figure-out the best way to spend your tax money. GM CEO Rick Wagoner, Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli, Ford CEO Alan Mulally and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (who never met a union she didn’t like) and United Auto Workers President Ron Gettlefinger will meet to iron-out details of their federally-sponsored survival strategy. “I want you should know that our friends in Washington have been very kind,” Nardelli will pronounce. “I ask Mr. Wald and Mr. Vlasic of The New York Times to tell us the good news about the first 25 billion dollar payment, which, as you know could have been, shall we say, tied-up.” “The Energy Department usually takes more than a year to write rules;” the Timesmen report. “Congress gave it 60 days but it completed the work in about 30. The program, hurriedly passed by Congress as part of the budget for the fiscal year that began on Oct. 1, was given to the Energy Department because it is intended to finance the development of high-mileage car models or components for them.” “Notice the word ‘intended’.” [murmurs of assent] “There are still problems. Boys?” “Another complication is that before it can lend money, the Energy Department must conclude that the borrower has assets that exceed its liabilities, and is likely to be able to repay the principal and interest.” “Details, but important ones, I think you would agree. Our friend Ms. Pelosi is on the case and will report in due time. So… Next order of business. The next $25b. Our reporter friends will now leave the room. Ron?”

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4 of 8 comments
  • TexN TexN on Nov 06, 2008

    Shaker, Well done! I'll add this: "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." Tex

  • Karkidd Karkidd on Nov 06, 2008

    Same money? New money? Anyone?

  • Shaker Shaker on Nov 06, 2008

    TexN: Heh heh, a lot of great lines in the Godfather...

  • Landcrusher Landcrusher on Nov 06, 2008

    Has the management of these companies been lousy, certainly. However, how can you look at the fact that the UAW is the single largest common denominator and not think that it ought to be split up? I think everyone knows, but some are just bought off.