Autoextremist Kicks Off Open Mic Night

John Horner
by John Horner

Welcome to open mic night here at The Inside Joke. First up: you know and love him as The Autoxtremist… Peeeeter DeLorenzooooo! Hi guys. You know as bad as things are in Motown at the mo-ment, it's about to get worse. I bet at least half of you are about to come down with AFTERLUTZ. You know, "the state of shock destined to loom over GM after Bob Lutz hangs up his spurs". No seriously, I'm wondering how many of you've already been HUMMERED. That's "the state of eating or drinking to excess, as in, 'She was supposed to be here for the 7:30 media breakfast, but she got so hummered last night I doubt if she'll make it.'" Hey, no blowjob cracks back there! Anyway, it looks like you've already had a little SMOKEY-TIME. That's what happens during "the classic 'smoke and mirrors' presentations that go on every day in this town and in businesses across the country for that matter, as in, 'We were nowhere in that meeting until Harry went all smokey-time on them, and then we walked out with the order. Unbelievable."' Hey listen, you've been a great audience! Thanks Pete. Picking-up on Sweet Pete's theme, The Truth About Cars' Best and Brightest will now present a few new industry buzzwords of their own. Take it away TTAC!

John Horner
John Horner

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  • RoweAS RoweAS on May 15, 2008

    BENZENED: Whereby what seems to be a pleasant merger turns to an unholy conflagration at the expense of one of the "partners"

  • Skooter Skooter on May 15, 2008

    ATTACED- The willful act of harpooning a large domestic car company. "We saw some potential good news about a certain large domestic car company. We then logged on and ATTACED viciously."

  • Bunkie Bunkie on May 15, 2008

    EXTRADITION- Ford's newest CUV for those who boasted about their "cold, dead fingers" when describing their former rides.

  • Jthorner Jthorner on May 16, 2008

    DECAFED - A project which was derailed by recent CAFE changes: "The GM Ultra V-8 project was DECAFED after all the engineering was done." Not to be confused with buzz free coffee.

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