GM Set to Kill the Hummer H2: Requiem for a Heavyweight

Was the Hummer brand really born four years ago? The Army-inspired H2 now occupies a fading mindspace. It’s a relic from a time when America’s foreign policy problems were out there, somewhere. When gasoline was like Gatorade: a cheap, endless commodity that hydrated the hopes and dreams of a nation. Post-911, post-Katrina, post-Iraq, the H2 somehow remains. But not for long. According to our spies, GM has slated the gas-gargling mondo-SUV for termination. What’s THAT all about?

Disappearing buyers. Since its debut in 2003, H2 sales have fallen faster than George W’s approval rating (if only just). The macho model’s popularity peaked in its first year, sinking not-so-slowly but entirely predictably thereafter.

In 2006, GM sold less than half as many H2’s as it did in 2003. If the trend from the first four months of this year carries through to its gruesome conclusion, the H2 will rack-up just 12K annual sales, down 65% from its debut. Unless the 2008 makeover– upgraded interior, six-speed gearbox, 6.2-liter V8– rekindles faded ardor, it will be the model's last hurrah. Or raspberry.

On a deeper level, the Hummer’s decline reflects the political temper of our times. While the H2 is no less fuel efficient than any other gi-normous SUV (e.g. the now discontinued Ford Excursion), its inherently impolite dimensions and unabashedly militaristic demeanor made it a lightning rod for environmentalists and anti-war protesters alike. For these left-leaning activists, the H2 was/is the automotive equivalent of the ugly American.

H2 owners know the drill. Even before the Iraq war lost momentum, driving an H2 in a blue state urban area meant running a gauntlet of middle finger-flashing anger. Like a crew cut on a Vietnam-era conservative, trip-wire liberals clock an H2 and immediately assume its owner possesses a right wing political perspective and supports America’s foreign military operations.

It’s an entirely understandable if simplistic assumption that puts H2 owners on the defensive from the git-go. The model’s decline is at least partially attributable to the fact that only so many SUV drivers are ready, willing and able to run an endless gauntlet of unabashed antipathy.

No question: the H2’s rugged military persona was the key its downfall. It provided detractors with plenty of ammunition (so to speak) for self-righteous feelings of revulsion and disgust.

For example, while anti-SUV campaigners could almost forgive the cataclysmic damage wrought by a full-size SUV on a smaller vehicle as an unintended consequence of its owner’s understandable (if selfish) desire to protect their progeny, they viewed the Hummer as a four-wheeled metaphor for unbridled arrogance: “F.U. and the compact car you drove into me on.”

Contrary to popular belief, very few Hummer H2 buyers were motivated by a desire to make a political statement. While there’s no escaping the H2’s GI Joe fantasy factor, a large number of consumers chose the Hummer based on its off-road capabilities. And it’s true: plenty of H2 owners deploy their machine as government contractor AM General intended. While the 6400 lbs. SUV is a bit jumbo-sized for many off-road trails, in the main, she can “git ‘er done.”

Yet many Hummeristas remained oblivious to the fact that the H2’s exterior places the off-roader's terrain traversing chops into a distinctly sinister context. Most full-size SUV’s seem to say “One day, I may take my family off-road to commune with nature.” At best, the Hummer’s take-no-prisoner exterior proclaims “Survivalist on board.” At worst, worse.

Now that the Hummer H2 is on its way out, environmentalists/peace campaigners will have a hard time finding an equally obvious and (let’s face it) easy target. This despite the fact that the Hummer isn’t really dead; the model was replaced by the smaller, more frugal, cheaper-to-produce and less aggressive-looking H3.

In its first year of production (2005), the H3 accounted for 58 percent of Hummer’s sales. By 2006, the figure rose to 74 percent. So far this year, GM has sold 13k H3’s— more than the entire anticipated annual run of H2’s.

Even so, the total number of Hummers due to be sold in ‘07 is significantly less than that of a single Chevy model– which hardly seems sufficient to sustain an entire GM brand. As the H2 leaves the battlefield, one wonders if there will still be a Hummer to kick around four years hence.

I reckon the Hummer brand’s survival depends on two factors. First, GM must avoid bankruptcy. Second, Hummer must develop products that sell military prowess without projecting military arrogance or aggression. Either that or America’s armed forces’ fortunes must change abroad, to the point where it’s once again OK to drive a vehicle that celebrates our troops’ mucho macho can-do spirit. None of these possibilities seem likely.

Meanwhile, the Smithsonian Institution should find an early H2 to place into their permanent collection. No other machine so perfectly captured and distilled the gestalt of its time as the H2. Loved or loathed, GM’s lumbering leviathan deserves to be remembered for what it was: a uniquely American icon.