Precast: Occam's Edge, Two-for-One Pagitude, Hoons R Us, Eleanor Rows So Svelte, OTT $$?

Robert Farago
by Robert Farago

I'm of two minds on this whole hoonage business. One one hand, it's entirely possible to hoon about in a high speed car at significant velocities without endangering anyone save yourself and/or your insurance premiums. I'm thinking here of hormone-crazed kids burning rubber in parking lots, or more mature pistonheads practicing a little tail out action on a familiar and appropriately deserted stretch of road. But there are limits, even if they're not posted. As someone who's been fortunate enough to mash the gas on an Enzo, Zonda and Carrera GT, I can tell you there's a moment in the accelerative process when anyone other than a professional race driver is just hanging on. It's a kick-ass Zen sort of thing, and it accounts for the war whoop issued by the pilot of Heffner's twin-turbo Lamborghini Gallardo . But it's not what I would call safe. In short bursts, maybe. Through traffic, no. While I'm reasonably sure the Heffner folk know the limits of car and driver, common sense suggests no one in their right mind would capture 100mph++ balls-out sprints down a public road on videotape– especially if it shows the driver's face. That's what we call evidence. In fact, the tape pretty much proves that the hoons involved forfeit the benefit of the doubt. I rest my case. Now, where are my Boxster S keys?

Robert Farago
Robert Farago

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  • Nopanegain Nopanegain on Oct 16, 2006

    I hung out with the Tekademics guys in a shopping mall parking lot. I was never so nervous / giggling so loud in my life. They took rental car S&M to a whole nother' level. But they have been pawning thier DVDs for years. I guess anyone in front of a video camera is deemed an 'professional expert' and above the law...

  • Lesley Wimbush Lesley Wimbush on Oct 16, 2006

    Eleanor Rows so svelte? Robert, how do you sleep at night!! LOL!!

  • Terry Parkhurst Terry Parkhurst on Oct 16, 2006

    A person has to exercise a high-performance vehicle or admittedly, what's the point of it. In the century when automobiles first appeared - the 19th - Robert Browning wrote, "A man's reach must exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for?" However - and this is a big however - a racetrack remains the single best place to do this. Four young sailors, on a weekend pass from the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln, died in Seattle, when one of them, in a late model BMW convertible he had recently acquired, failed to make a corner and dumped the car into a bunch of power lines (and temporarily took out power to 2,500 homes). None of said sailors were belted in. One was reportedly cut in half. Way back in the day, the term "boyracer" was coined to indicate someone who didn't realize their own limitations. And as Clint Eastwood's "dirty Harry" said at the end of the movie, "Magnum Force," "A man's got to know his limitations." Follow Robert Browning's dictum only when there's an escape road, you have a helmet and racesuit on, and there's a rollcage around you. Otherwise, all bets are off.

  • Terry Parkhurst Terry Parkhurst on Oct 16, 2006

    Footnote: the four sailors' passing occurred just about three weeks ago. It is archived, for those interested, at and probably also at For what it is worth.