Volkswagen Eos Review

There is no way to overstate the appeal of the new Volkswagen Eos’ folding hardtop. I sat inside the car for ten minutes, opening and closing the lid, marveling at the mechanism’s precision and design. What kind of mind can develop something that folds and unfolds with such infinite grace? If you like to visit high speed factories spitting out hundreds of widgets per minute, filling them with liquids and shrink wrapping them in three swift motions, then you will never tire of lowering and raising the Eos’ five-piece hardtop. As for the rest of Vee Dub’s CSC (coupe-sunroof-convertible), it’s danger, boredom ahead.

All the time, effort and money VW’s engineers spent creating and manufacturing the Eos’ hardtop must have been scrimped from the company’s design department. Although there’s plenty of concave and convex “flame surfacing” in the usual places (wheel arches, door bottoms), there’s nothing even mildly warm about the Eos’ overall look. While the detailing takes German minimalism to the next level (dull and insipid), the proportions are the real passion killer. The overhangs are grossly mismatched, the ascending beltline says “tip-toeing bathtub” and the rearwards sloping rear deck is just plain wrong. At best (i.e. after you buy one), the Eos is “cute.” For those of us who remain on the sidelines, "homely and unlovable" is closer to the truth.

As befits a car that was shown as a concept just 18 months ago, the Eos’ interior is a parts bin special. Although the fascia is all new, all the bits slotted in are standard Golf fare— and none the worse for it. It’s a clean look with faultless ergonomics, from cosseting chairs to simple controls. Our tester’s Sport package (about $3500) adds some much needed spizzarkle– aluminum trim and wikkid dials– to the cabin’s otherwise dour demeanor. There aren’t a lot of high tech toys, but the [optional] satellite radio gets channeled through an [optional] mini Marshall stack and the [optional] corner steering xenon lighting makes drivers feel positively Lexian.

Pistonheads note: the folding hardtop VW Eos is no one trick pony. Provided you stump-up for VW’s dual shift gearbox (DSG), it’s a one-and-a-half trick pony. The superb paddle shift system, which has transformed ugly ducklings like the VW GTI and Audi A3 into F1 soaring Eagles, turns the Eos into a runt swan. Credit the extra weight of the hardtop top, its motor and the chassis strengthening needed to maintain torsional rigidity. It does nothing for the car’s dynamics, except spoil them.

VW’s press site pegs the Eos’ curb weight at 3503 lbs. That would make the Eos (which sits on a modified Passat platform) just 195 pounds heavier than a GTI. It feels three times that. Even under full throttle, the DSG labors to make anything happen. The razor-sharp small VW driving experience is decidedly dumbed down. Our tester had the base engine: a 2.0-liter, 200hp, turbocharged four. This mill, so willing and frisky in all the other VW/Audi executions, feels overwhelmed and peaky in this application. If you want to buy this top– I mean car, wait for September, when the factory starts building the Eos with a 250hp V6.

Of course, the Eos’ ponderousness steals more than the accelerative joy normally derived from this engine and transmission combination. The “I can’t believe this is a front driver” handling experience from the GTI is lost as well. Understeer is the party guest from Hell, arriving early and staying late. The props top also seems to unbalance the equation vertically; the Eos navigates curves like an ungainly and top heavy SUV. In addition to the nautical motions, you also get a maritime soundtrack: the top creaks and groans over rough patches like an old wooden schooner.

If the Jetta is all grown up, the Eos is an octogenarian. Its lethargic performance and high quality materials highlight the blue rinse effect. The pricing punctuates these observations. The 2.0-liter Eos starts under $30k, and quickly ascends in the high 30’s. The 3.2 will easily break $40k. Hardtop or no, the GTI is looking more and more like the pick of the litter.

Anyway, the Eos is clearly another “lifestyle” Volkswagen aimed at the empty nest/trustafarian market. While the Eos’ retractable hardtop is nothing new from the likes of the Mercedes (SL/SLK), we’re grateful that the new Vee Dub brings Germany's open and shut case to the masses. If Wolfsburg had attached their wundertop to a more attractive package, they would have had an instant classic. Instead, they’ve built a highly polished though dynamically dull machine whose appeal— and sales— will rely almost entirely on the novelty of its hood. Will that party trick be enough to move the metal? Absolutely.