Dino's Sex Wagon (I Kid You Not)
As a kid, I instantly "got" James Bond: look cool, kill the bad guys and the girl's yours. I was a little vague about what you did with her afterwards, but the British secret agent still made perfect sense. Dean Martin's riff on 007, Matt Helm, was a different story. As far as my crew was concerned, the American booze hound super spy lech didn't even qualify as a junk Bond. In fact, I got the same feeling watching Matt Helm movies as I did I seeing local Catholic boys dress up like girls for their "father." And while Bond's Aston was the business, I didn't know until this morning which wheels Matt Helm graced with his cinematic presence. Well, here it is: a George Barris modified 1966 Mercury station wagon. Figures. A station wagon is about as cool as The Carpenters, maybe, no, definitely, less. My mom drove a station wagon. (There's that icky thing again.) Turns out the Volo museum snagged this formica and plexiglass shag palace for their collection. Lucky them. I rang up the museum and spoke to their Director about Dino's Sex Wagon and the museum's more, um, salubrious whips.