Malibu Man and VOLT, Episode 1: The Adventure Begins!

This is a work of fiction. All usual disclaimers apply — JB

He woke up in a perfectly anonymous aqua-tiled hospital room somewhere, a million years’ worth of hallucinogenic dreams after stepping on that IED back in Afghanistan. He couldn’t remember where he’d been before that. His friends, his childhood, even his name — all of that was locked somewhere he couldn’t reach. Instead, he had a Brooks-Brothers-clad, aggressively-tanned young man standing at his bedside, grinning at him as if they’d just shared a particularly private and risqué joke.

“We’re feeling better, I see!” the man offered. “Let me get the boss.”

And just like that, the hospital room was empty and he was alone. Not for long, though; his overly-cheerful companion was soon back with a distinguished older man in tow. With a shock, he realized that he recognized “the boss”. Tall, powerful-looking, military bearing, with a perfect mane of silver hair.

“It’s you! I’ve seen you on television! You’re—“ The big man reached down and placed a powerful, masculine, dreamy finger against his lips.

“Never mind who I am. Your name is now Michael Sloan. You lost your life in the service of your country. Or, you would have, anyway, if we hadn’t taken you to our secret clinic and rebuilt you from the ground up. We had a reason to. In Afghanistan, you were one of the best. Elite. The question I have for you is: Are you ready to give your life for your country again?”

“I… suppose so,” Michael replied, “but what are you doing here, if this is a military operation? Don’t you work for… General Motors?”

“What’s good for General Motors,” the big man replied, “is good for the country. We saved your life because we need a man who exists in the shadows. Sometimes, direct action might provide the only feasible solution. I’ve tried so-called secret weapons before, but they turned to be buffet-browsing shills for garbage product. You’ll erase that shame. But you won’t be working alone. We’ve created the perfect partner for you. Better than human. The very latest twenty-first technology. Are you ready to meet your partner? We call him… VOLT.”

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  • Lou_BC “We are always listening to the customer. "You sayin' the baller/gangsta types don't want Escalades on 24's that don't make vroom vroom rumbly sounds?
  • AZFelix I shall fully endorse the use of autonomous cars on public roads once they have successfully completed my proposed Turing test for self driving vehicles. This test requires the successful completion of an at fault incident and accident free 24/7 driving session in Buffalo and upstate New York from October 1st until March 31st, and throughout the city of Jakarta, Indonesia for one consecutive year. Only Level 1 and Level 5 vehicles are permissible.
  • Lou_BC I'd go Rav4. No Mazda dealer in my town and from what I've seen, Mazda's tend to rust.
  • Steve Jacobs I've got a bright Red Kia EV6. Easy to find in a parking lot.
  • MKizzy Gently used EV6's under $30K aren't hard to find and have the range and style to almost intrigue me into taking the EV plunge. However, I'll wait for a mid-sized non-luxury EV sedan or wagon which is not a tablet housing a car (Model 3) or sacrifices too much usable space for the sake of style (Ioniq 6) before I go electric. I'm not holding my breath.