Piston Slap: You Dirty, Dirty Panther You!

Casey writes:

Hey Sajeev,

You once answered one of my questions regarding my Fusion of Malcontent, a car which NEVER stopped giving us issues even after we sold it: the new owner refused to put it into his name and we got many tickets from red light cameras.

Anyway, last month I purchased a beautiful Panther-platform Grand Marquis. I got a good deal on it and it’s in pristine condition with less than 50,000 miles. There are no issues with the car mechanically, but it was previously owned by someone who lived down a long red dirt road. There is dirt EVERYWHERE in the car. It’s in the light assemblies, the dash, pretty much every crevasse that one can think of.

I’ve begun the long and tiring job of cleaning it, but wondering if you have any tips, suggestions, or ideas about how I should proceed?

Currently, I’ve cleaned the entire outside of the car, the engine bay, and generally the driver’s area…but every time I look up I swear I find something else that’s covered in red dust.

How do I clean this car so that I can stop obsessing and start enjoying the Panther body that I’ve always dreamed of?

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  • ToolGuy Make the hood taller, and I'm in. 😉
  • El scotto It leaves the loading dock/loading are in the morning. It gets parked in the same place. Bubba/Bubbette plugs in and it charges overnight. Driver forgot to plug in?First time a warning, second time no pay while their vehicle is recharging. That problem will correct itself.
  • El scotto Hmmm, because it would take ohh another 20 minutes; if you rent an EV on the company dime stay at a hotel on the company dime that has EV chargers. I know crazy talk.Common sense would dictate don't rent an EV where there aren't chargers. No, I'm not downloading a find a charger app for a business trip either. People who don't like EVs won't rent them. Some do like EVs and will rent them. However most EV research on here consists of: I bought a dozen eggs, four large dill pickles, and a loaf of bread; therefore I have egg salad."
  • 28-Cars-Later Here's another thing you can't buy; and another, and another!
  • JREwing It suffered the same small back seat problem that the Ford Contour and Mercury Mystique did. 2 more inches in wheelbase or a taller roof would've helped a lot.But the biggest issue was that it wasn't a SUV/crossover/soft-roader with 3 rows in a market that couldn't get enough of them.