Piston Slap: You Dirty, Dirty Panther You!

Casey writes:

Hey Sajeev,

You once answered one of my questions regarding my Fusion of Malcontent, a car which NEVER stopped giving us issues even after we sold it: the new owner refused to put it into his name and we got many tickets from red light cameras.

Anyway, last month I purchased a beautiful Panther-platform Grand Marquis. I got a good deal on it and it’s in pristine condition with less than 50,000 miles. There are no issues with the car mechanically, but it was previously owned by someone who lived down a long red dirt road. There is dirt EVERYWHERE in the car. It’s in the light assemblies, the dash, pretty much every crevasse that one can think of.

I’ve begun the long and tiring job of cleaning it, but wondering if you have any tips, suggestions, or ideas about how I should proceed?

Currently, I’ve cleaned the entire outside of the car, the engine bay, and generally the driver’s area…but every time I look up I swear I find something else that’s covered in red dust.

How do I clean this car so that I can stop obsessing and start enjoying the Panther body that I’ve always dreamed of?

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  • Corey Lewis Terribly unsafe in a crash. Almost to the point where I can't believe they sold them here.
  • Johnster My understanding is that the Mark VI Coupe was built on the shorter 114" wheelbase shared with the Panther-based LTD and Marquis, while the Mark VI sedan was built on the longer 119" wheelbase used by both the Continental Coupe and Sedan, and that the Mark VI Coupe was then slightly shorter and smaller than the Continental Coupe.
  • Varezhka Ugh, had one as a rental and no wonder they disappeared quickly.Now they still have the current gen. Quest as a Nissan Elgrand in the home market, but even in the minivan heaven that is Japan (where minivan has a 20% marketshare as a bodystyle) they only sell 2~3000 units annually.
  • Fred Look at me! I drive a weird truck thing made by a guy who is losing money running Twitter.
  • Fred The mid-engine Vette hasn't been as successful as the previous race car. They did just come in 2nd at Daytona 24hrs but I'm not sure it's enough for buyers to line up.