Malibu Man and VOLT, Episode 1: The Adventure Begins!

This is a work of fiction. All usual disclaimers apply — JB

He woke up in a perfectly anonymous aqua-tiled hospital room somewhere, a million years’ worth of hallucinogenic dreams after stepping on that IED back in Afghanistan. He couldn’t remember where he’d been before that. His friends, his childhood, even his name — all of that was locked somewhere he couldn’t reach. Instead, he had a Brooks-Brothers-clad, aggressively-tanned young man standing at his bedside, grinning at him as if they’d just shared a particularly private and risqué joke.

“We’re feeling better, I see!” the man offered. “Let me get the boss.”

And just like that, the hospital room was empty and he was alone. Not for long, though; his overly-cheerful companion was soon back with a distinguished older man in tow. With a shock, he realized that he recognized “the boss”. Tall, powerful-looking, military bearing, with a perfect mane of silver hair.

“It’s you! I’ve seen you on television! You’re—“ The big man reached down and placed a powerful, masculine, dreamy finger against his lips.

“Never mind who I am. Your name is now Michael Sloan. You lost your life in the service of your country. Or, you would have, anyway, if we hadn’t taken you to our secret clinic and rebuilt you from the ground up. We had a reason to. In Afghanistan, you were one of the best. Elite. The question I have for you is: Are you ready to give your life for your country again?”

“I… suppose so,” Michael replied, “but what are you doing here, if this is a military operation? Don’t you work for… General Motors?”

“What’s good for General Motors,” the big man replied, “is good for the country. We saved your life because we need a man who exists in the shadows. Sometimes, direct action might provide the only feasible solution. I’ve tried so-called secret weapons before, but they turned to be buffet-browsing shills for garbage product. You’ll erase that shame. But you won’t be working alone. We’ve created the perfect partner for you. Better than human. The very latest twenty-first technology. Are you ready to meet your partner? We call him… VOLT.”

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  • Theflyersfan To: Fisker Manhattan Beach EmployeesFrom: The walking god himselfRe: Why your badge didn't workHey guys, you probably noticed some changes this morning like the locks being changed and the lights being out. Don't worry. Bob in Accounting has a huge basement and a pool table so we're going to move on there for our new super awesome headquarters. Get there quickly before the good parking is gone!
  • Bkojote Smart move if the financials work, considering the R3 has way more excitement around it than just about any Tesla product, as Tesla only seems to only excite tech illiterate guys who lost their wives mortgaging their house to buy bored apes.If Apple does in fact tie up with Rivian Tesla's goose is ultra-cooked.
  • Jkross22 Tim Apple sniffing around to see if he can sucker someone else into under-RAM'ing devices to save $2/unit and force upgrade people.
  • Jkross22 Not to rub salt in the wound, but why would you put your hq in some extraordinarily expensive real estate like Manhattan Beach? I know little of Fisker the person, but this reeks of ego and the desire for appearances.
  • 3-On-The-Tree I’ve responded to several bike accidents where if the guy wasn’t wearing a helmet he would’ve been in a casket. Plus it saves your hearing.