Confession: I've Stopped Caring How Many Cylinders Are Under The Hood

Updated with pricing more reflective of the U.S. market for this M-B Canada press car.

There’s no replacement for displacement. Or so I was taught during my formative years, a period in which I read multiple buff books per month and listened to old men attempt to define torque.

But Audi USA announced last week it would slot the engine from its smallest sedan, the A3, under the hood of Audi’s largest utility vehicle, the Q7.

This week, I’m driving a 4,045-pound, $70,465 Mercedes-Benz E-Class sedan. Labelled the E300, this heavily optioned E-Class is equipped with a 2.0-liter, four-cylinder engine related to the 2.0-liter in the company’s front-wheel drive, entry-level sedan, the CLA.

4,000 pounds. $70,465. 2.0-liter inline-four. Y’alright with that?

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NAIAS 2016: 2017 Mercedes-Benz E-Class is the Base, But Far From Basic

When you consider the 2017 Mercedes-Benz E-Class will spawn nearly a baker’s dozen variants in its time — coupes, performance models, wagons (please?) — the donor sedan can end up less thrilling than white bread. The remedy for this, like anything else in life, is to put a screen on it.

Fussy child? Screen. Long flight? Screen. Mid-size luxury sedan? You guessed it.

In addition to sporting the much hyped configurable screen setup from this year’s Consumer Electronics Show, the new 2017 Mercedes-Benz E-Class will sport two fewer cylinders (to start) and a longer list of semi-autonomous driving features that won’t be available in the U.S. to start.

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  • MaintenanceCosts I've never prioritized color when looking for a car, but there are usually some colors (particularly bright reds and refrigerator whites) that I just won't accept.That said, one of my cars gets parked outside in a city environment, and it's silver, and that's good because silver does not complain too much when oxidized to he!l. The brown BMW is neat because there aren't many brown BMWs, and the green Legend is historically correct because the mid-'90s meant green.
  • ToolGuy • Black vehicles and dark interiors burn more petrol and are bad for the planet (look it up, I'm not gonna hold your hand on this one lol).• If your current vehicle was new when you took delivery, and you didn't get EXACTLY the color you wanted (blithely accepted what was foisted on you by the dealer), shame on you. You are the problem with today's franchise system. In future, please notify the dealer that your policy is to collect a Non-First-Choice Paint Upcharge in such a circumstance. I recommend $1200.• Also, fine-thread drywall screws (in wood) waste electricity (and time). When I am President of the Universe, fine-thread drywall screws will be banned in favor of the more environmentally- and wallet-friendly coarse-thread variety. (Again, you can work out the reasons but I am absolutely correct.)
  • Blope Cataluna Red Audi Etron and a Red Golf TDI Wagon
  • Vulpine Considering the size of modern full-sized pickup, they NEED the ability to "squat" just to be able to load/unload them from the rear. It's a law that needs to be contested for the utility of the capability, despite the fact that... yes, it can be abused by show--offs.
  • SCE to AUX I have two bright blue Hyundais at the moment, and I've only had one red car.I think I've had 7 white cars. My very first car was orange.A friend once said he buys the ugliest, or most garish color on the lot, to try and get a better price on a dealer dud. It also makes the car easier to spot in a sea of gray vehicles. I couldn't do that, but I see the logic.