Piston Slap: You Dirty, Dirty Panther You!

Casey writes:

Hey Sajeev,

You once answered one of my questions regarding my Fusion of Malcontent, a car which NEVER stopped giving us issues even after we sold it: the new owner refused to put it into his name and we got many tickets from red light cameras.

Anyway, last month I purchased a beautiful Panther-platform Grand Marquis. I got a good deal on it and it’s in pristine condition with less than 50,000 miles. There are no issues with the car mechanically, but it was previously owned by someone who lived down a long red dirt road. There is dirt EVERYWHERE in the car. It’s in the light assemblies, the dash, pretty much every crevasse that one can think of.

I’ve begun the long and tiring job of cleaning it, but wondering if you have any tips, suggestions, or ideas about how I should proceed?

Currently, I’ve cleaned the entire outside of the car, the engine bay, and generally the driver’s area…but every time I look up I swear I find something else that’s covered in red dust.

How do I clean this car so that I can stop obsessing and start enjoying the Panther body that I’ve always dreamed of?

Read more
  • Kwik_Shift I'll just drive my Frontier into the ground as planned. Possibly find an older "fun" car to collect.
  • Lorenzo The solution is so simple: if the driver shifts into neutral without applying the parking brake, the horn sounds and lights flash until the parking brake is applied. After the third time, the driver should be insulted by a voice saying, "Shouldn't your wife be driving?", or "Where did you get your license - Dollar Store?"
  • Akear About 7 years ago crazy Mary said there is no future for Hybrids and GM would concentrate on EVs. Barra has an amazing ability to make the wrong decisions on just about every issue. I used to think Rick Wagoneer and Roger smith were the biggest GM idiots. I am not so sure now.
  • GBJT I’ll keep my 2021 Tundra and wouldn’t buy a 2022 Tundra due to the twin turbo V6 and transmission.
  • 2manyvettes Um, somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but I clearly remember a story about used EV's in China rotting away in a field somewhere because nobody wanted to buy them, much less dealers wanting to sell them. Anyone, anyone, Bueller,Bueller?