#CitroenDs5

Francois Hollande has officially been sworn in as France’s new head of state, and as expected, his official car is a Citroen DS5 Hybrid4. But his predecessor may have one-upped the upstart Socialist with a choice ride of his own.

I hate France. I hate it with a vengeance. Anyone who has ever had the misfortune of landing at Charles De Gaulle Airport will understand what I mean. So when a colleague from “Die Welt” (“The World”, a major German newspaper) returned from his drive of the Citroen DS5 and excitedly exclaimed “This is the best French car in 20 years!”, we haters just laughed. He might as well have returned covered in pustules, exclaiming “This is my best syphilis infection in 20 years!” I also hate hybrids. This too is easily comprehensible by anyone who has a look at the smug ignoramuses driving these ugly gravity lenses. And I hate diesel. It is the fuel of lorries and Satan.