#BentleyBentaygaSpeed

For those of typical means, ultra-luxury automakers like Bentley exist in a vacuum. We see an M3’s worth of options on a Flying Spur and scoff at something so preposterous, so alien to our understanding of a dollar’s value.

It’s true enough that the law of diminishing returns tends to really kick in when MSRPs soar into six-figure territory and beyond: Is a Bugatti Chiron 50 times better than a C8 Corvette? Probably not. But years ago, when I was handed the keys to my first Bentley press car, I approached the prospect with a similar mindset and came away a changed man.

Bentley touts the 2019 Bentayga Speed as the fastest production SUV ever to grace planet Earth with its presence. However, the claim is actually a little white lie.

The performance Bentayga’s 190 mph top speed technically ties it with the Lamborghini Urus, which also uses the MLBevo platform and is slightly faster to 60 mph. Of course, there are many things in the Bentley you won’t find in the Lambo. The British SUV benefits from an almost grotesque amount of luxury and an available 6.0-liter W12 rocking 626 bhp with 664 lb-ft of torque. Meanwhile, the Urus has to make due with its little 4.0-liter V8 and superior acceleration.

Alright, so we’re giving Bentley a hard time for making a pretty bold claim. But you can’t say you’re the fastest when it’s not demonstrably true and not expect some good-natured ribbing.

The top end of the automotive market is home to surprising levels of competitiveness, even among brands traditionally seen as staid and reserved. Rolls-Royce fits this description, though the maker of opulent drawing rooms on wheels isn’t one to back down from a schoolyard scrap (as we saw earlier this year following some mild trash talk from Aston Martin-owned Lagonda).

Bentley, the rival-turned-family-member-turned-rival-again, has always positioned itself as the sportier alternative to Rolls-Royce, so it’s only natural that the lads in Crewe are planning a response to their competitor’s introduction of an ultra-lux SUV. Sure, the Cullinan pampers its occupants until they develop gout, but can it pull out their remaining hair follicles through sheer speed?

Hardly.