Bronco Spied on Chicago's Dan Ryan Expressway

A bronco was being tested on Chicago’s Dan Ryan Expressway Monday, without camouflage, in full view of commuters.

OK, ok, it wasn’t a Ford Bronco. Neigh. It probably wasn’t even a bronco, at all – probably a different breed of horse. But there was a horse on the expressway. That’s not fake news.

I’m serious. Adam Hollingsworth, 33, was stopped by police at Chicago’s 95th street. He had ridden his horse around seven miles, according to the Chicago Tribune, with a motorcycle escort led by supporters of his.

Yes, supporters. Hollingsworth isn’t running for office, but he was promoting a cause: Kids Lives Matter. He’d also been enlisted by Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot earlier this year to bolster participation in the 2020 Census. She called him the “Census Cowboy.”

He live-streamed the ride on Facebook.

All this came after Hollingsworth met with Chicago police and Illinois State police earlier this month about staging a protest on the Ryan. The request was denied because it would be dangerous, and possibly against the law.

So instead, Hollingsworth took his trusty steed to the expressway and was spotted riding south on his mustang (yes, I know, almost certainly not actually a mustang. Work with me here.) from 47th street. Cops hopped on around 71st street and hoofed it in pursuit.

If you know the Ryan and are wondering, Hollingsworth was in the local lanes, not the express. You know, the mane lanes.

We can’t determine what kind of car Hollingsworth drives. Maybe there’s a Dodge Colt in his driveway?

Hollingsworth didn’t exit when cops asked/requested he do so, so he was arrested. A supporter, 55-year-old Darron Luster, tried to get control of the horse, and was arrested for obstructing and resisting arrest.

As for Hollingsworth, he was charged with reckless conduct, disobeying a police officer, and criminal trespass to state-supported property. His horse was taken to an animal shelter – the animal was bleeding from its (don’t know if it was male or female) left hoof, had an unknown injury to the right hoof, and had sores from the saddle on its right side.

Additional charges are pending, according to what state police told the Trib. Hollingsworth may have to pony up to get out of this mess.

As for Lightfoot, she’s not happy with the Census Cowboy.

“What is clear is that this stunt not only seriously endangered the horse, but also the rider and all travelers on the expressway,” she said in a statement. “There is a right way and a wrong way to call attention to issues of great importance, and this stunt was decidedly the very wrong way.”

She’s right. Still, the horse was clocked at higher speeds than the expressway usually sees at rush hour. The horse’s droppings certainly bring new meaning to complaints about the highway’s shitty pavement.

And just like most commuters on the Dan Ryan, this one was a real horse’s ass.

Monday commute, man.

Dan Ryan Expressway, Chicago

“We’re tracking the horse going 13 miles per hour.” pic.twitter.com/LJHG1QfXYV

— john j. kim (@jkimpictures) September 21, 2020

[Image: Wirestock Images/Shutterstock]