Cars of The Simpsons - 30 Years of Vehicular Mayhem

Matthew Guy
by Matthew Guy
cars of em the simpsons em 30 years of vehicular mayhem

Yes, dear reader — that cartoon family from Springfield turns thirty today. A brief list of items not yet invented or discovered in 1989 include the internet, reliable anti-lock brakes, and the ineptitude of Rick Wagoner.

The Simpsons have gifted us not only with plenty of great one-liners over the years (“Uh, no, they’re saying, ‘Boo-urns! Boo-urns!”) but also a parking lot full of automobiles.

We’ll kick things off with the rig whose name is dropped in reviews of the Expedition and Suburban when the author is addled on OEM-provided shrimp and cannot think of another pun. Can you name the truck with four-wheel drive? It smells like steak and seats 35. Canyonero!

Who can forget The Homer, a brand new car from Powell Motors! Complete with rack-and-peanut steering, it equalled only the Aztek in tone-deafness (which also had about forty bucks worth of steel in it).

Actually, the unveiling of The Homer went about as well as the media event when Bentley debuted it concept of the EXP 9 F.

Speaking of auto shows, I’ve seen this type of stereotypical crap still happen on occasion, especially when some fossilized journosaur dips into the free booze and suddenly thinks they’re clever.

There’s plenty of debate as to the model on which Homer’s pink car with a wrinkled fender is based, but most point to it being a 1973 Plymouth Valiant. Every family member has driven it, including Maggie, and it was apparently made in Croatia out of old Soviet tanks.

Speaking of Simpsons cars that have been around the Bloc, no one forgets the rig Crazy Vaclav tried to sell Homer. “Put it in H!”

Like all good red-blooded Americans, Marge drives a station wagon. Did good in the derby, too.

Ned Flanders had problems outrunning Homer in his Geo.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon enjoys listening to Cheap Trick while washing his Firebird, as we all do.

Either the creators of The Simpsons really like American muscle or they’re totally trolling us with a commentary on the type of people who drive the things. Lil’ Bandit belongs to Snake, even after Homer bought it. “She needs premium, dude!”

Unsurprisingly, Moe drives a piece of crap.

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  • PV_Pathfinder PV_Pathfinder on Dec 19, 2018

    Not related to cars, but... "You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel." Is possibly one of my favorite lines of all time. Whether I'm wrapped in a towel or not, I try and use it whenever possible.

  • Mjg82 Mjg82 on Dec 19, 2018

    Homer being impressed with the Dodge Caravan Mel Gibson was chauffeuring them in, always sticks out in my mind

  • MaintenanceCosts We hear endlessly from the usual suspects about the scenarios where EVs don't work as well as gas cars. We never hear the opposite side of the coin. From an EV owner (since 2019) who has a second EV reserved, here are a few points the "I road trip 1000 miles every day" crowd won't tell you about:[list][*]When you have a convenient charging situation, EV fueling is more convenient than a gas car. There is no stopping at gas stations and you start every day with a full tank.[/*][*]Where there are no-idling rules (school pickup/dropoff, lines for ferries or services, city loading, whatever else) you can keep warm or cool to your heart's content in your EV.[/*][*]In the cold, EVs will give you heat from the second you turn them on.[/*][*]EVs don't care one bit if you use them for tons of very short trips. Their mechanicals don't need to boil off condensation. (Just tonight, I used my EV to drive six blocks, because it was 31 degrees and raining, and walking would have been unpleasant.)[/*][*]EVs don't stink and don't make you breathe carcinogens on cold start.[/*][*]EV maintenance is much less frequent and much cheaper, eliminating almost all items having to do with engine, transmission, or brakes in a gas car. In most EVs the maintenance schedule consists of battery coolant changes and tire maintenance.[/*][*]You can accelerate fast in EVs without noisily attracting the attention of the cops and every passerby on the street.[/*][/list]
  • MaintenanceCosts Still can't get a RAV4 Prime for love or money. Availability of normal hybrid RAV4s and Highlanders is only slightly better. At least around here I think Toyota could sell twice the number of vehicles that they are actually bringing in at the moment.
  • Tree Trunk Been in the market for a new Highlander Hybrid, it is sold out with order time of 6 months plus. Probably would have bit the bullet if it was not for the dealers the refuse to take an order but instead want to sell from allotment whether it fits or not and at thousands over MRSP.
  • AKHusky The expense argument is nonsense. My mach e was $42k after tax credit. Basically the same as similarly equipped edge. And it completely ignores that the best selling vehicles are Rams, F150s, and Silverados, all more expensive that a bolt, MAch e or ID4. As an owner, I'd say they are still in second car territory for most places in the country.
  • Johnster I live in a red state and I see quite a few EVs being purchased by conservative, upper-class Republicans (many of them Trump-supporters). I suspect that it is a way for them to flaunt their wealth and that, over time, the preference for EVs will trickle down to less well-off Republicans.
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