Cars of The Simpsons - 30 Years of Vehicular Mayhem

Matthew Guy
by Matthew Guy

Yes, dear reader — that cartoon family from Springfield turns thirty today. A brief list of items not yet invented or discovered in 1989 include the internet, reliable anti-lock brakes, and the ineptitude of Rick Wagoner.

The Simpsons have gifted us not only with plenty of great one-liners over the years (“Uh, no, they’re saying, ‘Boo-urns! Boo-urns!”) but also a parking lot full of automobiles.

We’ll kick things off with the rig whose name is dropped in reviews of the Expedition and Suburban when the author is addled on OEM-provided shrimp and cannot think of another pun. Can you name the truck with four-wheel drive? It smells like steak and seats 35. Canyonero!

Who can forget The Homer, a brand new car from Powell Motors! Complete with rack-and-peanut steering, it equalled only the Aztek in tone-deafness (which also had about forty bucks worth of steel in it).

Actually, the unveiling of The Homer went about as well as the media event when Bentley debuted it concept of the EXP 9 F.

Speaking of auto shows, I’ve seen this type of stereotypical crap still happen on occasion, especially when some fossilized journosaur dips into the free booze and suddenly thinks they’re clever.

There’s plenty of debate as to the model on which Homer’s pink car with a wrinkled fender is based, but most point to it being a 1973 Plymouth Valiant. Every family member has driven it, including Maggie, and it was apparently made in Croatia out of old Soviet tanks.

Speaking of Simpsons cars that have been around the Bloc, no one forgets the rig Crazy Vaclav tried to sell Homer. “Put it in H!”

Like all good red-blooded Americans, Marge drives a station wagon. Did good in the derby, too.

Ned Flanders had problems outrunning Homer in his Geo.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon enjoys listening to Cheap Trick while washing his Firebird, as we all do.

Either the creators of The Simpsons really like American muscle or they’re totally trolling us with a commentary on the type of people who drive the things. Lil’ Bandit belongs to Snake, even after Homer bought it. “She needs premium, dude!”

Unsurprisingly, Moe drives a piece of crap.

Matthew Guy
Matthew Guy

Matthew buys, sells, fixes, & races cars. As a human index of auto & auction knowledge, he is fond of making money and offering loud opinions.

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  • PV_Pathfinder PV_Pathfinder on Dec 19, 2018

    Not related to cars, but... "You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel." Is possibly one of my favorite lines of all time. Whether I'm wrapped in a towel or not, I try and use it whenever possible.

  • Mjg82 Mjg82 on Dec 19, 2018

    Homer being impressed with the Dodge Caravan Mel Gibson was chauffeuring them in, always sticks out in my mind

  • GIJOOOE “Sounds” about as exciting as driving a golf cart, fake gear shifts or not. I truly hope that Dodge and the other big American car makers pull their heads out of the electric clouds and continue to offer performance cars with big horsepower internal combustion engines that require some form of multi gear transmissions and high octane fuel, even if they have to make them in relatively small quantities and market them specifically to gearheads like me. I will resist the ev future for as long as I have breath in my lungs and an excellent credit score/big bank account. People like me, who have loved fast cars for as long as I can remember, need a car that has an engine that sounds properly pissed off when I hit the gas pedal and accelerate through the gears.
  • Kcflyer libs have been subsidizing college for decades. The predictable result is soaring cost of college and dramatic increases in useless degrees. Their solution? More subsidies of course. EV policy will follow the same failed logic. Because it's not like it's their money. Not saying the republicans are any better, they talk a good game but spend like drunken sailors to buy votes just like the libs. The sole function of the U.S. government is to take money from people who earn it and give it away to people who didn't.
  • CecilSaxon Sounds about as smart as VW's "SoundAktor"
  • Inside Looking Out Does Cybeertruck use the same stainless steel as Starship?
  • Michael It's a crime it's a pity, it's a low down dirty shame ... .thou shall not kill .