Crapwagon Outtake, Viral Sensation Division: 1996 Honda Accord Coupe

Chris Tonn
by Chris Tonn

It’s a running joke around here, but like the best humor, it comes from a kernel of truth: TTAC should always write about Hondas. Every article — Honda. Readers just can’t seem to get enough of the Big H.

California filmmaker Max Lanman knows what’s up. Either he’s been lurking in TTAC’s Slack, or he’s hacked our Google Analytics — but in the course of a day, nearly half a million people have tuned in to his commercial showcasing an eBay auction for his girlfriend’s well-used 1996 Honda Accord.

As expected, it’s working.

As of this writing — and with six days left on the auction — 87 bids have been registered, sitting (for now) at $20,400.

The power of social media compels you to bid, apparently. Kelley Blue Book gives this magnificent pride of Marysville a somewhat lower value:

One could even drive home a brand-new, Ace of Base-approved Honda Civic LX Coupe for but $540 more:

Overall, this Accord seems to be in reasonable condition for its age. The southern California location has helped, certainly — salt will destroy a 1990s Honda in short order. The leather looks to be well-worn, but serviceable. The bumpers show evidence of parking by Braille, and the Autocheck report provided by eBay shows evidence of two prior accidents. Still, when considering a collector’s item such as this beauty, those are minor data points.

It seems the port-installed front-seat coffee maker is not included in the sale, however.

So, intrepid car buyers of the B&B – at what dollar figure do you think this will top out?

[Images: eBay; Screenshots courtesy YouTube, Kelley Blue Book, Honda]

Chris Tonn
Chris Tonn

Some enthusiasts say they were born with gasoline in their veins. Chris Tonn, on the other hand, had rust flakes in his eyes nearly since birth. Living in salty Ohio and being hopelessly addicted to vintage British and Japanese steel will do that to you. His work has appeared in eBay Motors, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars, Reader's Digest, AutoGuide, Family Handyman, and Jalopnik. He is a member of the Midwest Automotive Media Association, and he's currently looking for the safety glasses he just set down somewhere.

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  • THX1136 THX1136 on Nov 06, 2017

    Well done ad, and expensive if done "at work" - especially the aerials. I was thinking about the cat also, but not where it went after arriving at the destination. More of a "in case of a collision" type of scenario. I would agree with the $2K point - give or take.

  • Ryoku75 Ryoku75 on Nov 06, 2017

    $500? Sure $1200? Maybe $2000? No thanks $26,000? Either trollin' or way too doped up on Honda I haven't heard great things about the EX Accords if this generation. You get nice extra features, but the Vtec goes through oil if you beat on it too much. Btw Is that 26mpg hwy estimate accurate?

  • Teddyc73 As I asked earlier under another article, when did "segment" or "class" become "space"? Does using that term make one feel more sophisticated? If GM's products in other segments...I mean "space" is more profitable then sedans then why shouldn't they discontinue it.
  • Robert Absolutely!!! I hate SUV's , I like the better gas milage and better ride and better handling!! Can't take a SUV 55mph into a highway exit ramp! I can in my Malibu and there's more than enough room for 5 and trunk is plenty big enough for me!
  • Teddyc73 Since when did automakers or car companies become "OEM". Probably about the same time "segment" or "class" became "space". I wish there were more sedans. I would like an American sedan. However, as others have stated, if they don't sell in large enough quantities to be profitable the automakers...I mean, "OEMs" aren't going to build them. It's simple business.
  • Varezhka I have still yet to see a Malibu on the road that didn't have a rental sticker. So yeah, GM probably lost money on every one they sold but kept it to boost their CAFE numbers.I'm personally happy that I no longer have to dread being "upgraded" to a Maxima or a Malibu anymore. And thankfully Altima is also on its way out.
  • Tassos Under incompetent, affirmative action hire Mary Barra, GM has been shooting itself in the foot on a daily basis.Whether the Malibu cancellation has been one of these shootings is NOT obvious at all.GM should be run as a PROFITABLE BUSINESS and NOT as an outfit that satisfies everybody and his mother in law's pet preferences.IF the Malibu was UNPROFITABLE, it SHOULD be canceled.More generally, if its SEGMENT is Unprofitable, and HALF the makers cancel their midsize sedans, not only will it lead to the SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST ones, but the survivors will obviously be more profitable if the LOSERS were kept being produced and the SMALL PIE of midsize sedans would yield slim pickings for every participant.SO NO, I APPROVE of the demise of the unprofitable Malibu, and hope Nissan does the same to the Altima, Hyundai with the SOnata, Mazda with the Mazda 6, and as many others as it takes to make the REMAINING players, like the Excellent, sporty Accord and the Bulletproof Reliable, cheap to maintain CAMRY, more profitable and affordable.
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