By on July 20, 2016

pokemon

If you’re anything like the writers at TTAC, Pokémon Go is a strange and scary thing, like what those teenagers might be doing over there.

We’ve avoided writing about the misadventures associated with the nerdy phone app — grown men falling off cliffs, kids finding corpses, awkward romantic escapades — but a moron in Baltimore tipped our hand.

Two nights ago, a Baltimore police officer’s body camera captured a Toyota RAV4 colliding with his parked cruiser. The young male driver, who clearly couldn’t figure out how to cover his ass, immediately admits to playing Pokémon Go behind the wheel.

“That’s what I get for playing this dumb-ass game,” says Tank Top, phone in hand.

Besides being a good lesson on how to stay safe behind the wheel, the Baltimore video shows players how they too can capture the rare Dodgy Chargeron Pokémon.

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51 Comments on “Distracted Baltimore Driver Pokémon Go-ing to Court After Cop Car Crash...”


  • avatar
    Chocolatedeath

    Does he even realize how stupid this was…

  • avatar
    ajla

    The Chargeron’s abilities include “Misalignment”, “Hyper-Depreciate”, and “Self-Destruct”.

    If Chargeron evolves into HELLCAT it gains “Fuel Gorge” and “Tire Smoke”.

  • avatar
    Pch101

    I can honestly say that I’m not quite sure what PokemonGo is. But if it can’t give you herpes, then I’m probably not going to be too worried about it. (After all, that’s why God invented Tinder.)

    • 0 avatar
      notapreppie

      It’s a mobile game where the game board is, uh, planet Earth. Your phone tracks your location on the game board — er, planet — via GPS. You interact with virtual things associated with real locations using your phone.

      The virtual aspects are based on the long-running Pokémon franchise (which I was just a hair too old to get into when it first jumped the Pacific from Japan).

      It’s targeted mostly at kids but the franchise started in in 1995 so there are fans well into their 30’s.

      The game on which its underlying mechanics are based (Ingress) actually blocks you from playing if you are moving more than 30-ish mph.

      • 0 avatar
        Pch101

        If the game can get its players inside the yards of maximum security prisons and in the middle of alligator swamps, then I completely support it.

        • 0 avatar
          CoreyDL

          Have those two things happened yet?

          I predict there will be an increase in muggings and kidnapping with this. Kids wandering around into bad parts of town, with nary an inkling of where they are or who’s watching.

          • 0 avatar
            -Nate

            “I predict there will be an increase in muggings and kidnapping with this”.
            .
            Already happened .
            .
            perps arrested .
            .
            -Nate

          • 0 avatar
            threeer

            Muggings have happened. Just waiting for some idiot to show up here on base (secure site) looking for a Pokémon.

            But hey, it has made Nintendo a crap-ton of money in just the first few weeks. Probably says something about today’s culture, society, etc…

          • 0 avatar
            Ryoku75

            An armed robbery happened just last week in my town, the robbers were using GO to attract other players.

            And while not necessarily prison anymore, an ex Nazi camp had to contact Nintendo due to all the GO players their area was attracting.

            At Three: Perhaps so, and this is a free game afterall so Nintendos making money off disposable virtual goods in game.

          • 0 avatar
            Nick_515

            Pokemon Go is fully compatible with redlining. Inner city neighborhoods are vastly underrepresented.

    • 0 avatar
      Nick_515

      Pch101, Pokemon go is already more popular than Tinder. It’s just another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.

  • avatar
    CoreyDL

    Except that’s a Caprice PPV.

  • avatar
    JimZ

    as if motorcyclists needed *another* thing to worry about.

    • 0 avatar
      everybodyhatesscott

      Cagers are already trying to kill us at every turn. People have been changing lanes while staring at their phone for as long as I’ve been riding. I’m a millennial, I like my phone but can people please put their damn phones down for the 15 minutes it takes them to get wherever they’re going? I sorta get it when you’re bored in stop and go traffic but texting at 70mph when there is actual traffic is idiotic. Oh, and don’t forget to hold the phone as low as possible so smokey doesn’t see you engaging in idiotic behavior and give you a ticket.

  • avatar
    Carlson Fan

    I stood next to a friend last weekend and watched him play this game on his phone just so I cold understand what all the hype is about. Kinda cool, but meh big deal. Nothing I’d waste time downloading to my phone even if it is free but then I’m not much into video games

  • avatar
    onyxtape

    The epidemic is insane. I work with an imposing ex-Marine who could probably play Pat Tillman on his TV biopic (the ex-NFL guy who volunteered for Afghanistan), and he can’t stop talking about the game.

  • avatar
    Kenmore

    God, I want to try this game now!

    I’ll find some young spawn who has it at the next picnic.

  • avatar
    JimC2

    I was kinda hoping it was possible to hack this game and put the prizes in places like train tracks.

  • avatar
    runs_on_h8raide

    I was hoping to see the Baltimore PD put him in the paddywagon for one of those “drives” around town.

  • avatar
    NickS

    This is just one example but the overall problem is much much bigger. Today’s driver distractions tap onto reward and gratification pathways.

    I don’t really know how this can get fixed. The number of drivers distracted makes it a colossal problem. The horses are out of the barn. It will take draconian measures to force people to change. A colleague of mine tells me that here in California it’s a $20 ticket (comical) but where we live it is not enforced at all, and even if it were it would take four times as many cops to make a dent on the driving population and drive the point home in a meaningful way.

    I am totally dismayed at the physical destruction that is entirely preventable. For what? Human nature I suppose.

  • avatar
    Ryoku75

    I’m in an odd group of friends that havent played GO, neither have I myself. What kind of PoKemon game doesnt allow trading?

    I’m still surprised that franchise has made such a huge return, I remember the days of Yu Gi Oh or whatever when Pokemon was just getting, people were realizing the games werent too different from each other.

    Now its making us into drones!

  • avatar
    3XC

    I don’t quite understand the “get off my lawn” old man hate for this game. If it gets a generation of couch potatoes out of the house and they get a little exercise, I’m all for it. Yes, there have been stupid users like the kid in this article, but considering how many tens of millions of downloads it has and how frequently its used, it really isn’t causing problems on any appreciable scale.

    Calories burned in total since it was released is probably approaching a billion. I would say its a net positive. And its free. Kids love it.

    • 0 avatar
      everybodyhatesscott

      Completely agree. They’d be running around virtually catching pokemon on the gameboys 15 years ago and now they’re going out and getting fresh air. I did A LOT of stupid stuff as a kid that could’ve got me killed without any pokemon necessary

    • 0 avatar
      Ryoku75

      I’ve yet to see this “hate” for the game, more so people simply disapproving of careless behavior.

  • avatar
    PentastarPride

    I knew I couldn’t count on my fellow citizens for knowing right from wrong and for using what little of a brain they may have left.

    It is hard to believe that adults are playing this (and taking it seriously!) and not for something to pass the time for a few minutes.

    And to think it is for something so frivolous…is there really nothing better to do out there?

    I was in Costco a few days ago and a couple that were close to my age (mid-20s, early-30s) were completely oblivious to their suroundings. Their heads were planted into their phone playing this dumb game. Neither of them seemed to be shopping and they didn’t have a pushcart or anything. I kind of wondered if they were even members at all and just paid for a day pass just to take up space, wandering around for these silly little digital characters.

    To make matters worse, this was all during peak shopping hours. Everyone that had some semblance of sanity gave them well-deserved dirty looks; it didn’t phase these people at all because they didn’t care to notice.

    Now I’ll have to worry about these kinds of mindless individuals whenever I am driving somewhere. Bumping into these zombies in a grocery store is the least of my worries. I have a feeling that this is only going to get worse.

  • avatar
    TMA1

    He probably ran into a Jigglypuff, and fell asleep behind the wheel.

  • avatar
    shaker

    Seems to be a litmus test for the futility of modern life – we’ve replaced daily drudgery with collective eons of human time, to be exploited by just the right distraction.

    I guess for me, it was PC games a few years back, now Netflix binges on Hangover Saturday.

    So, let the “kids” have their version, right?

    Well, exercise is one thing, but wandering across our world unawares will only lead to pain of some sort, though society will decide (day by day) whether the body count is acceptable.

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